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 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
Jedd Ong
Somewhere in the slums
A little brown kid
With threadbare shorts
And bullet hole
Riddled
Shirt

Dances
Like the perfect
Fred Astaire wind up toy.

He grins like a brightly lit jack-o-lantern.

His cheeks are muddy
But
He grins
Wider and wider
Still,

Looking gratefully
At the sky.
I just need to be reminded that the world's ratio of hugs per gunshot wound is still very, very high.
Candles smell best when the day is nearing its end and you feel the weariness in your bones. Favourites flicker like moods and the way the fire dances upon the wick; fresh scents mostly. Zingy citrus and sweet melon and cucumber, and sometimes sweet spice and serenity which smells like old memories.

2. As a sister, I do no know what kind of attributes I wish for a sister. Even though I adore and get annoyed in equal parts by the girl who calls me big sissie, I could not name what it is that I exactly would want. Perhaps, I would enjoy some one such as Nana Visitor as my sister, although one wonders if having actors for a family member is the best.

Kelly Rowland comes to mind, and perhaps I would adore her as a sister the most.

3. I have longed for a brother for a long time, wished I had one just to experience it, mostly. I’d want someone fierce, but someone understanding too. Someone who would not treat me like I could look after myself, and under much consideration, I do not believe there is someone I’d truly want as a celebrity as my brother. Perhaps Olly Murs, if I had to really answer this.

4. Marriage is not something I would wear well, I do not think. It’s not a comfy pair of sweats or a too big sweater. It’s a very pretty dress, or a dapper suit and it doesn’t fit like colourful beanies or a rather fluffy scarf.

5. Books lay in piles about the space entitled my room, old bottles from years before I was born live in their own special cupboards. Piles of intricately made teaspoons and bone-handled knives tuck into boxes upon boxes upon boxes. Old text books barely squeeze into my shelves. I hoard like I breathe.

6.When young and flexible I managed to tie myself in knots; I’d fit in spaces I only dream about now and stretch like I was reaching for the light. Doing such things like the splits doesn’t occur to me anymore, I’ve got a book to read, an emotion to write and a song to hum under my breath.
they answer questions. of what, i can't remember.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
Megan Grace
because my lungs are
becoming your most
common punching bag
without you being
aware. I don't think
you're as much in this
as you originally
wanted to be.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
Nat Lipstadt
The Night King Ego died...

The time, the place, the setting:

T'is some hour for sleep, prescribed,
For me, the reality of sleep, proscribed.

The strains of Bach's
Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major
Haunt.
Richard II's words
Give pause, precision refinement of my cause courant.

“No matter where; of comfort no man speak:
Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs;
Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes
Write sorrow on the ***** of the earth”


Two am in New York, sleep,
As advertised,
Literally, a passing acquaintance,
Doesn't make it to
The side of the bed occupied by
100% of me.
Seems he went
From chimney to chimney
This past Sunday morn.
Not having a chimney,
He flue right over me.

No matter.
Company aplenty,
Ego and moi,
We, had a long talkie.
A bit of a wrestle, a staring contest
In a mirror, we watched ourselves,
In the pitch black
where clarity is perfect,
For nothing else exists,
But ego and me,
To distract us.

“I'll read enough
When I do see the very book indeed
Where all my sins are writ, and that's myself.
Give me that glass and therein will I read.
No deeper wrinkles yet? Hath sorrow struck
So many blows upon this face of mine
And made no deeper wounds?
O flattering glass,
Like to my followers in prosperity
Thou dost beguile me!”


Called my lawyer just now,
ordered her to commence
the divorce papers, serve them ASAP,
I need to rid myself of
My oldest nemesis, my oldest friend,
Mine vanity, my ego.

Let me explain
myself to myself.
You may tag along for the ride.

Writing is more important
than any of the individual
Five senses
That feed this addiction.
Without sound, sight, touch, smell and taste,
I can live quite well,
Thankee.

But ****** boy mind needs to write
Simple survival.
No write, no life.

But ****** bad boy ego is a curse,
A contaminate of each and every
Line, stanza,word and verse.

"Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this flesh which walls about our life,
Were brass impregnable, and humour'd thus
Comes at the last and with a little pin”


At first, for an audience of three
I performed,
Me, myself and I.

But the suckiness creepeth in,
and etches my distorted face,
Salutations and gradations,
demanding confirmation
Of Shakespearen magnification.

Do you like me?
Do you love me?
****** all.

Curse ye King Ego and your vainglorious occupations,
Divorce me, from the sad isle of
Self
Self worth,
Pride, vanity insurance,
The most deadly of the seven
Deadly sins.

Ego desperate in kind responds:

"I live with bread like you, feel want,
Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus,
How can you say to me, I am a king?”


Slime and slippery, want is what you feel,
Taste grief, need friends,
Sly devil, you twist thy cunning tongue,
The reverse, your plain meaning!
You need nothing but subjects,
In earnest and forever praise,
Absent them, you mood and whine,
A pretender, a poseur, a drug addict cursed!

Let us purpose to dispose of thy spirit earthly,
Slow starvation too good for you,
Poison, arrows, the hilt of my blade,
The neck, thine bowel,
Let me embrace,
Prefer your steel hot or cold?

If we both must expire, then it be so, for
My honor taken, my life forsaken,
My poetry in disrepute,
Until that day when I write for me alone,
And ally my scripts, in coffin, with me interred.

"My dear, dear Lord,
The purest treasure mortal times afford
Is spotless reputation; that away
Men are but gilded loan or painted clay...
Mine honor is my life; both grow in one;
Take honor from me, and my life is done.
"
PostScript:
Number me thus, in the company of
The good but the forgot,
Still will be of cheer goodly,
For tho ***** could not be saved,
Not one good man found in the ****** lot,,
Except for one, the truest audience of one,
Thus I will be saved, thus, call me, Lot.

-----------------------
My battle to destroy my ego is minute to minute hand to hand combat.  That is me, and my truth.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Fully expect a few reads and even fewer "likes."
Which if the poem you comprehend, that would be,
Validation.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
k-s-h
Untitled
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
k-s-h
It is spring soon,
which means
;
Flowers will bloom
outside of my dreams.

The garden of
my heart
will overflow
once more, with beauty.

Come walk with me
And see!--
Each flower is
a new thought of you.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
k-s-h
Untitled
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
k-s-h
Poets are sent to a special kind of hell;
Where you put in a coin,
and the gumball colour you want comes out.

It is by being given what we feel we deserve
That we run out of things to write.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
Christina
Born at midnight
An odd sight
A baby carried out of a motel
A mother’s best pal
Into the hospital she went
Her time with her baby spent
She was on drugs
Couldn’t keep her
Put up for adoption
Adopted by her nurse
Almost snuck out in a purse
By her mom on drugs
To give the baby to thugs
At 6 years old she found out
She was adopted
She started to shout
Why me
Why me
Why not her
At 12 she started asking
She was starting packing
What she didn’t know
Started to show
All that went on
At thirteen she found out
Her mother had died
Hopefully she had gone
To heaven and beyond
On January 18th
In the year 2002She died of a blood clot
And has never caught

Another cold
Under 6 feet of dirt
Wearing the same shirt
She lies cold and dead
For all eternity
No pictures of her daughter
All that’s left is memories
Except for her daughter
For she knows nothing
About her mother
In denial
For months on endS
he will never see the bend
The destinationThe end
How tall was she
What did she look like
Did she know how to ride a bike
So many questions
No answers yet
Now I can bet
She misses me
As much as I miss her
What did she sound like
What did she wear
Where was she from
How did she style her hair
Who was my father
Why even bother
He didn’t care
About me or her
He never did meet me
I never met him
He should climb out on a limb
For me
So I can be free
From this mental prison I'm in
I can’t go anywhere
My minds behind bars
My feelings are getting
Run over by cars
He doesn’t care
He was never there
To support her
In her time of need
To stop her from smoking ****
Or shooting up crack
He’ll never be back
She was alone
She had no support
She had to get rid of me
She didn’t abort
Me in her womb
A perilous tomb
Forever locked
In a glass jar
Thank god that’s not me
She saved my life
By taking me there
That is the place where
I met my new mom
Who will be there
Forever with me
She will support me
And give me help
I still have questions about her
But I will meet her someday
I see her in my dreams
But that’s all it is
A dream
An idea
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
Kagami
I am dressed in iron. Layers of it.
Sweat and blood mingling with tears.

And it rusts.

And erodes.

And crumbles.

And soon, my strong persona
Will be gone.
Or maybe it already is?
I've tried so hard to care for my armor,
But everything decays after a while.

I am exposed.

My fragile body is bare now,
And this glass figurine is crying.

She wants to be wrapped in steel this time. Titanium.
That way, she won't break as easily.
And her tears will no longer clatter on the floor,
Shattering into bright little stars.

They don't deserve to be stars.
They are dull.
She may hurt, but her tears are empty.
She has no tears left.

She gave those away too long ago, and they were lost.

And they were bright.
Wasted.


And she wants to be covered in molasses.
Maybe then, when she finds her tears again,
They will stick to her, and never leave.
Maybe she could use them again.

Reduce Reuse Recycle.
She could save her world, and allow
Other pains
To sleep there.
Absorb them from the creatures
She talks to daily.
Hiding them in her iron.
Steel.
Titanium.
Molasses.


Anything is better than
Glass.
 Sep 2013 Aya Baker
blankpoems
I want to tell you that I miss you like every friend I have ever lost.
The wind mocks me, knocking me off my feet just to try and replicate how you used to make me feel.
Every single thing reminds me of you.

The stars are not poetic, they're dead.
You said to find poetry in everything that leaves,
but you never understood why I tattooed the names of everyone who has ever taken their lives too soon on my wrists.

I yearn to be a museum,
to be every prayer you never said.
There is no religion that worships your smile, so I am an atheist.

Whispers flood my ears, telling me to stop poking holes through my skin.
To stop finding solace in pain, in the beauty that comes after it.
I want to whisper back that every rose has it's thorn,
but I really hate that song.

I sometimes wonder if all of our plans will stay intact,
if you will still come to me in the summer, when the water is half-warm
and my nerves are on fire, waiting.

I hope so.

I've never been good enough for anything except illegal things,
I want to stop relying on synthetic euphoria to keep breathing.
I want to stop but I can't.
I just want to rely on you.

You're so far away.
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