fast, quite, sudden
my head plays a thousands thoughts
of the unreal, of the uncertain, of all of it
it occupies my days
both feels safe and unsafe to just suddenly
stop.
thinking.
for this is something uncommon to me
to my everyday which occupies my days
conscious, too conscious?
anxious, over the top.
i need to remind myself that's what's in my head
is just in my head
to release and appease
i will try each day

it feels like I've left a soul that speaks my mind
I have been juggling too many on one plate
a plate smaller than my fears, how much I am able to consume, and how much of it can hold
a wide screen television envelops a lot of places, faces and unending staircases
'one step at a time' is nowhere to be found when I got caught up with I'm not sure if still mine
mine to bear, mine to feel, mine to keep
to let go of even that's mine is such a test of time
quantifiable, disclosing dates and how many hours per day
with documentation being necessary
I wish that what's undocumented and forever changing inside you heals you as well, that like any other, we can surrender to our self
to feel safe and be heard
and in our thoughts, may we find what isn't really ours
and to just consider it fleeting, midair
like the fallen leaves, let the wind send it away

Pagbangon ko sa umaga
Nakita ko ang iyong mga matang
Nakapikit pa sapagkat mahaba ang ating naging gabi
Puno ng pagmamahal at mangilan-ngilang pagbusisi
Kung gigising ako araw-araw sa piling mo
Mahal, magiging sapat ang lakas kong
Lumaban sa ano mang unos at pighati
Totoo, sigurado at nagbabakasakaling
Mabigyan ng pinakamatagal na panahong
Makasama ka, ako'y makakaahon

i like that we're on the same page
at the same time
the part where i read
you said the next line
our eyes met
you asked for a name
i wouldn't say much
until you said the same
from all the chapters
i hope one day,
with your name as the title,
you'll read mine

"The night was dark blue
Drenched in pink
With rays of silver
And a moon too bright",
That's what you said to me
For I never knew how to describe it
Who cares how much of the stars aligned
When the wind was blowing the ashes from our steps
It could have been miles but we were no more than 5 inches apart
And as time passes, I can barely understand the words from your voice
I didn't need any mountain or the waves of oceans
I was only looking at you

We'll dress up like puppets, queens, nutella, and your favorite Game of Thrones character
We'll dress up like what we've been planning to for almost a year now
Finally, today arrives
And for tomorrow, we'll dress up like what we've been always put up with
The truth
But just for today,
Can we dress up like a pair?

In any case
I'll still turn to you
Kiss you lightly
Tell you softly
"You're free to go."
I'll pray for smooth roads
And for your water to last at least the flight
But you'll have my tears inside your pockets
Love letters under your shelves
The curtain rises
Another day without your face
But your skin lingers
Through the wind
Surrounded by the clouds
Far away, near the stars
And so the plane can't reach

It was a long ride going home. The distance didn't matter cause it was the solitary moment. I couldn't see what's outside clearly because of the windows, but I see enough to make me feel safe inside. The cars pass as the people inside them: driving, sleeping, texting, singing, or like me, staring blankly at something intangible- air. It was a long ride going home, not because of the distance, but the countless thoughts that reminded me of you. I see you everywhere, or I just tend to assign you to some things that could somehow remind me of you. Oh the color red, that was what you wore one time we met for dinner. Look at the stop sign, it's red, like the shirt you wore one time, right? Remember, dinner together? Roses are red. "Red" is how you pronounce the past tense of Read. Red's now my favorite color, when I don't even see it as one anymore. 'Cause when I see something red, I'd always immediately associate it with you. Funny how things could symbolize people. Maybe it's something I purposely do. Because even if I think about something else, I don't want you think it's not you.

I'd want to be where you are right now. Maybe initiate a conversation that could go on for hours then go back home relieved that I did. I'll keep the glances I stole, your name on my chest and the promise to meet again. I'll write to you, everyday. I'll tell you how my day went and how far it was from the day I expected it to be. How different were the days when I was with you compared to those I wasn't. I'll also ask you how did your day go. Did you like your breakfast, and if you are still the same person I've known ever since the day I laid my eyes on you. All these, and many more. Everything that you are a part of, I'll always keep with me. Inside my pockets, locked in my chest and sealed in my heart.

In a world full of pretension
Secrecy and bad intention
The most fulfilling
Is to have finally found yourself
Somewhere
Within a person
When words don't crumble
Where sentences never stumble
We'll be the loudest click
Most fascinating wit
Slowest kiss
And hardest fall

You're like a poem
That doesn't rhyme
With how I feel
But that doesn't mean
It's not real
Isn't that what matters
Not which words
Fit better
But what they mean
Altogether

We utter "I miss you" more often now
One way
Of keeping our memories alive
In our hearts
That our absence
Could mean presence
No eye to eye contacts
Unable to hold hands
And exert a whisper
But I could hear how your heart beats
Just a little louder today
When you're 10 000 miles away

Your name
Sends signal
To my veins
Wandering
Wondering
Is this the spot
Where I reached your heart?

I am here
Again
There are things
I would want to miss
And not encounter
But there might be those
I would miss
When I don't encounter
So I'm not going to miss one
So I would miss none