Smile like you mean it,
While he's degrading you.
Pretending like the effort you put in,
Isn't missed,
that you aren't the joke,
That's gone over your head.

Smile like you mean it,
Like the open wound,
Isn't bleeding,
That the pain you feel,
Isn't consuming
You whole.

Smile like you mean it,
Lips painted red
And eyes wide,
As if I don't know
I'm being  used.

Smile like you mean it,
Like I don't have a soul,
That emotions
Have no impact on me.
I only live to perform.

Smile like you mean it,
Legs spread
Fake ****** erupting,
Just so you can feel like a man.

Words fall from red stained lips
my voice
trembling too much to hear.
Fear muffles the sound
so,
it tumbles out
the essence of a whisper.
If I screamed,
it would only be an echo.
Or aggressive tendencies
that warrant a right
to ignorance.
A small resemblance
of who I am
and a glimmer of
what it is resounding of.
I am lost,
a shadow now of who you once loved.
I stand before you.
Resentment now holds
in my place of silence.

I opened myself
Arms stretched
Welcomed
Into his bed.
Uncaring of
What it will cost me.

Why
Am I this way?
*** is Binding
Intertwined unspeakably
Beyond lifetimes
And far past
Our hearts
Own Comprehension.

We mold together
Passion overwhelming
Self destruction
Igniting
With each ******.
Left lingering
For eternity
Between ruin and bliss.

Sometimes I think his scent lingers on my skin.

Scars impossible to erase no matter how hard I scrub.

His need for me always urgent.

Firm forceful hands always taking more then I want to give.

The secret is pain can be such pleasure..

Making love to monsters in the dark.

Eyes closed and gasping.

Physical need overwhelming,
and fireworks nowhere in sight.

I once wondered lost and off course
A strong hand extended
Amity and faith blended
Leading to a profound thought
that I was so much more.

My world once dark and oppressive
He gifted me with sight
Vibrant colors of bold ignite
Banishing ruin and dismay
Brilliant light now illuminates me.

A skip of my heart
Butterflies in motion
A thawed soul learns devotion
Destiny can be sutbtle
Sparks soon set to flame.

A familiarity in his eyes
connection beyond explanation
What occurs is pure creation
love unexpected
This blessing of abundance that we now share.

He stands
Firm
An immoveable foundation
That shields me
From a darkness
That seeks to claim me.

He lights my way
It spills forth from within
Illuminating the farthest corners
When I am blind
To the world
and consumed
I look towards the radiance
That he himself holds.

He stands next to me
Lending me strength
Finding a courage
Within myself
That never existed
Until now.
Doubt erased
And replaced with the knowledge
That I am capable
And Divine.


He loves me
Uncertainty never forms
His affection never held
Always in abundance
It wraps around me
Cementing me in a place
Of comfort
And peace
This intimacy
A gift
That I have never known before.

He slips softly into thought.
Causing my stomach
to turn
and
my heart to ache.
I don't want to love him anymore.
Times passed
and I'm void of comprehension,
a lack of understanding
on how he still has
such a profound impact
on my soul.