Lost song so long
In between walls and over top mountains
Happy when you're free
Happy but not me
Courage that tempts you to reach out and take her
hand by the tips of fingers which
could play the piano and curve about saxophones
if only you let
them
touch
Pretty words from the annexes of the libraries
stand up at attention in the main hallways of mind
when you see her face and you wander
through the rooms where you paint her naked on the
floor
holding the pages of the dreams you wrote for her
Speak a sentence and you feel your lips move
make the words of the sound but
there's no touching the ground
And images unbidden of the stories you tell yourself don't flicker but flare
the licks of the campfire redder than rose on her skin
the piano in the main room of your seaside apartment
the echoes of the music that hold my soul like the hands of a lover
better than any lover could
The grey sky is noticed and rain falls above us
stalled still in the headlights of cars  like they don't know
And time doesn't know us
But oh, the places it shows us
And in and out of time in the backrooms of my mind
Never shall I live the thousand dreams I dream
But if I could have just one..

he woke up beside the girl
with the universe
captured
in her sad eyes

running his fingers
through her tumbled hair
watching stillness
and memories of the future
flicker across her invisible mind

he traces the fragility
of her ribs
feels something
slowing
underneath her skin

where is your heart
he whispers
so softly
and she hears his voice
succumbing to her dreams and nightmares
void of longing
acceptance
taints the sky

cracking and heavy
her walls want to fall
she keeps herself
to the stars
in the night
and feels him move away from her
pulling her closer

Just call me a doll,
that's just what I am,
a bunch of stuffing,
shoved in a ****** sham.

I start to rip and tear,
so i stitch myself back together,
but the stuffing's falling out,
I'll never be alright, ever.

I'm pulling at the threads,
trying to fix the loose ends,
but they're coming untied,
and the needle is starting to bend.

I paint on this stupid smile,
so the world will never see,
what's inside this stupid doll,
the doll I call "me."

The world will always let you down,
there's hardly any light,
so just give up already,
is it even worth the fight?

I may idolize the boy who always saved me, he belongs in books but amazingly this is non-fiction
I might pay close attention to the way he runs his fingers through his hair, but I could watch him run through forests for hours on end
I may always want to have the last word in an argument even though the boy himself is what I'm focused on the entire debate, I don't care who wins I just want you to stay
I may be insanely jealous maybe even ****** but at least I love you more than she ever could and you know it's true.
I may get upset over small things you do, but you'll always be my favorite correction to mark with red pen, don't worry I promise I'll forgive you in the morning
I may be a pain every now and again but at least you know I'm alive today, because without you I hope you know I would have given up a long time ago.
I may love too passionately and too fierce but at least I will never desert you in the dark or want you to be reduced to cold red slashes on the most beautiful parts of your body
I may be complicated and more in love with you than I am with my own reflection
But at least I am self-less, at least I care whether or not the boy I love more than life itself is breathing in the morning. At least I know the difference between love and pity, at least I fight the will every morning with my shadow to make sure I have a chance to let you know how much I love you, you really should cherish it, because who knows if you'll hear it tomorrow. I'm a lost cause who loves your little pieces of stardust more than the sparkles on my skin but at least I love you enough-- to let you know.

*vm