part of me really digs this place
the straw roofs and whitewashed walls
the girls in their long painted skirts
the sand in the arches of my feet
the internet's up you try to tell me things
the seeds hanging from the lamp
every ant crawling up my shirt that Annette
with her tiny hands tried to brush off
tea in the morning, tea in the evening
when I grow up I shall live
in a tea palace

I wish you could
try on
every piece of clothing
I own
and then put it back
I'd have
one month
of you.

we can wait here all night
or try to swim to the bottom of Puget Sound
or run to the farthest reaches
of the galaxies
if only in our minds
anything not to fade out
anything to stay here suspended
curl up in the trunk
if you close your eyes tight enough
the seconds can't seep in
if hands are held tight enough
no air can slip in
this hair is no longer mine
nothing is mine now
we exist as everything
oh baby trust me
I have had to come here by myself
so many times
I know what if feels like but
the desperation is new
this slab of sidewalk
is where we belong
if we look away
we are unafraid
to turn and find the other gone
the ache is a novelty
one day
which as time works may as well
be any day
it will finally happen.

however any situation goes
however important it seems
at the time
however afraid you are
just remember
whatever life takes from you
it always fills the space with something lovely
afterwards
your life will be full
it's okay to be scared
but as real as that feeling is
so will the feeling of complete wholeness
be.

I like the way
lizards
shimmy up the wall.

when you begin to believe
too strongly
that you control your destiny
you begin to feel like
you are walking a very thin tightrope
not everything is because of you
and some things are meant to happen
and so
they just happen
regardless of how you intend
you try to grasp something
and still it moves away
you become filled with dark doubt about love
and still love finds you
wraps its arms around your fear
so
accept the dark parts of yourself
that are difficult to accept
and accept the parts of yourself
that are angry with you
for not readily accepting
also, accept the world
as it flows in and out of you
do not be afraid to lose love
it always comes back.

I had a dream
you and I stood leaning over
a wooden railing
gazing at the ocean
the scene was colored like
a vintage movie
and the wind was
playing with our hair
you smiled at me and
I touched you
it felt like a future.

you have discovered
that you care
what I think of you.

here there is a layer of dust
beneath the air
it settles into our nostrils
under our fingernails
into the creases of our foreheads

boys kick it up with soccer *****
girls carry it beneath their *******
houses hold it with their roofs
the trees are at one with it
the sun is hazy

it is difficult to sing
but we try

she said light switches
ran all the way down
the inside of her body
and you somehow
turned them all up
at the same time

I did not fall for you
simply opened my arms
and allowed you
to fall into me.

I have always liked pistachios
because you have to
crack them open.

sometimes
you can hear someone's heart
speaking
but you cannot
understand
what it is saying.

sometimes
you can hear someone's heart
speaking
and you grasp it
better than words
could convey
it feels so right
when this happens.

sorry
if i embarrassed you
i was just
trying it out.

In Iceland
I once saw a rainbow
that seemed
temptingly close.
It graced its way
over the dark water
and seemed to land
in a pile of ocean rocks.
Full of foolish humor and anticipation
I braced against the wind
and ran along the shore
to seek it out.
Upon reaching the rocks
I found that the rainbow
had slipped
twenty feet away
in a seamless blend
of reflection
and refraction
and high light.

jellyfish
and thoughts of
jellyfish
cheer me up.

I looked
for you
and found
everyone
else.

the people here
seem most at home
in brightly colored clothing
fierce men casually strut in hot pink
women weave maroon and mustard yellow
into their hair
the deepest skin
brings to life
the most saturated of shades.

your mother
is always with you.
you feel her
in the earth
as it
rocks
you.

we want
to feel
like we are
floating.

he said
we were
going to be
uncomfortable.

I am
finding it
difficult
to be here.

you wonder
if you will
ever again
lay eyes on him.

nobody
exists
for anyone
else.

I am
teaching
myself
to
roll with it.

Do you want to live in stone?

At moments like these
I lash out at the slightest little thing
That seems wrong
Can't help but to think of them as
Cruelties thrown into my face
By the stars.

I am proud
to be
an American Woman.

fade
fade out
I have
no idea
how it's supposed to be
real
unreal
shift in
and out
now will it only
fade out
now will we only hear
ringing silence
what will be remembered
was it once supposed to be
how will it feel
after our time
has faded out?

warthogs
trot by
with their tails
in the air.

the beautiful thing about infants
is they speak no language
yet everyone understands.

the Maasai people
eat mostly blood and milk
after a certain age.
a man we met
showed us his sleeping father
claiming his father was
one hundred and eight
years old
the man under the blanket
looked tiny and fragile
a tangle of bird bones
I could have lifted
in my arms.

a man living in a Samburu village
must have strength and grit
a young man will be circumcised
in front of other villagers
he must hold dignity through the pain
lock every muscle
completely still
if he so much as winces
he will bring disgrace upon his family.

when a man comes of a certain age
people make it their business
to find him a wife
if the man is traveling
in a nearby village
and happens upon a delightful young woman
he must bring this news
back to his parents
who will make the decision.

if the parents agree
he will supply the young woman
with gifts of:
one camel
four or five goats
and seven or eight cows
unless the woman is special
then she might receive
two camels.

once a man is settled
with his first wife
he may find more wives
sometimes up to eight wives
or more.

each wife may bear about five children
while the children are young
the man may not know
the names of the children
or which mother they came from.

we were never strangers
we were never friends
I think it would hurt both of us
if we ever had to pretend to be
either of those things.

her belly is on the concrete
the sun makes her
glow
softer than the water
she is bored
she does not acknowledge
the great gift the light has given the world
by reflecting
off her body

try not to
compress
your heart
even when it feels
like the easy
or practical
thing to do.

what
are you
thinking
about?

I know the drumbeat
and rush
of my body
all too well
heart speaking
electric hands
utter joy
anticipation
and, as always, dread
of collapsing
this feeling never ends well.

I am no longer
afraid of you.

I will probably hold them
all inside of me
forever.

waking up
among the painted antelope
and the wildebeests
streaming up the hillside
and the gnarled knees
of an ostrich
and the glassy yellow eyes
of a lion
is something
we should all experience.

thank you
for bringing me
up and out
once in a while.
you remind me
that laughter
is innate
in us all.

my
world
has become
soaked
in you
somehow.

the chocolate settles into the pan
the cold settles into the chocolate
the peanut butter settles into the cold
the chocolate settles into the peanut butter
it all settles into my mouth

you put in
the right amount
of effort
and then you wait
if it is supposed
to happen
it will.

I never get tired of clouds
because
somehow
you never see the same one
twice.

boys
bring some sort of
joy
to the surface
when they are
close
to me.
I don't know what
to call that.

You said sometimes
Texting her
Makes you uncomfortable
Like words are only half the
Conversation
And your bodies make up
The other half.
When words are
All you have
Everything feels
A little off.

I like the way
we look at each other.

I can't decide
whether to
cut
the splinter out
or wait
for it to
heal over.