She entered this world in a hectic place.
But when they called her name she always put a smile on her face.
She moved around from place to place,
never really having her own space,
but when you called out for her,
you always received a warm embrace.
Once settled down having a place called home.
The little girl's smiles soon became frowns.
Childhood innocence was becoming tainted
through the troublesome place,
all she wished was to erase it.
Pain and fear lingered as daily routine.
And even then, the little girl would smile.
Praying every night for a better brighter tomorrow,
befriending an imaginary friend to numb the fear,
of whatever punishment that soon would be near.
Tears flowed in endless amounts.
Wishing one day this will all turn around.
And even then, through her endless amount of pain and sorrow.
That Little Girl still kept her beautiful smile,
for her better tomorrow.
:)

she was wide awake
laying on the dandelion field
staring at the cerrulean sky
her eyes red and puffy
drowned in tears
her wrist ached
wounded
her heart ached
wounded

she was wide awake
laying on the dandelion field
staring at the cerrulean sky
wanting to go up there
to the clouds
it would be a lot easier
if she was up there
she hated living
she hated society
she hated how she loses her possesions
-her friends
-her family
-her virginity
she had lost it all
and the walls inside her head
that borders her from any outside threat
are on the verge of demolition
she could no longer hold onto it
the foundation have been shaken
far too many times before

she was wide awake
laying on the dandelion field
staring at the cerrulean sky
her eyes no longer red and puffy
she was no longer drowning in her own tears
her wrist bears no scars
her heart was leaping with joy
she felt so alive
but she was dead

but she didn't care anyway
she never have a liking for her
ugly lacklustre body anyway
it was a pleasure to leave it on the ground
let the worms eat it
she was genuinely happy
now
for she had finally reached
cloud sanctum

I have so much to learn
Yet so little to share with the world

Therefore,
As I type and retype these words,
I question the direction- as well as motive

When the sun peers through the mustered drapes
My heart collapses, and my body once more refuses to rise

If past is any indication of the future
Then I'm in for hell

Pain is exponential
And so are the years that flutter continually by

The life I once had dreamed of
I now must  ordeal

My home is under the covers of a weathered blanket
-the sound of classical bellowing from a table, not far yonder

And as I work and wonder at the world
I count down the days to an inconceivable  dream

Let me share with you something; ever so true
No emotional pain surpasses that of someone who dwells utterly alone

We are social creatures
And without a friend or family member worthy of mention in the world,
It is a struggle within itself to be alive

May it be then,  that my prayers for a relative happiness be answered
and that with you, the deep peace of fallen dreams be ignited by the flames of love

I've been trying to
tell you there's a difference
there's a difference, i promise
there's a difference
unconditional still meant
the same thing don't listen
to all the popular phrases

I'm sorry I stopped talking to you for eight months
but If I had stayed longer I would have become the
type of person I never wanted to be, because back
then i was so malleable despite what you may have
seen otherwise. I am stronger now and i know that
is no excuse, just plain, solid, light-as-day fact, may-
be you wouldn't have done it the same way but we
all do what makes sense to us.

i remember
all your scars
even the ones
on the inside
the ones you
tried to hide