I was born without a family,
Always stayed inside my bed,
I never had a friend,
By 15 I was dead,

You found me in my closet,
With a noose around my neck,
You knew that I was gone,
Called my brother in to check,

Your suspicions turned out true,
I guess it's not so bad,
I mean he didn't amount to much,
And he was always way too sad,

I was forgotten by next week,
No funeral was had,
No one to call and tell,
Not even his own dad.

I am aware this isn't true,
Just how things play out in my head,
Please just let me be so selfish,
Please don't miss me when I'm dead.

A surgeon at the end of his day,
Careless cuts, it's just a brain,
They all just said to hope and pray,
Those careless cuts, won't leave a stain,

We spend our time watching the clock,
Barely touching, with pistols cocked,
I'll pull your trigger if you pull mine,
The blood stains will wash out with time,

That's what I told her before she left,
Noose tied tight, gasping for breath,
Distance evident, by the growing lack of conversation,
Those careless cuts, a careless operation.

What was going through your head,
When you pulled into that lot?,
Grabbed the gun under the seat,
Put it to your brain and shot,

What was going through your head,
When you took way too many pills?,
Did you regret it as you died?
I just wonder how it feels,

I meant to ask before you left,
What's it like to watch your body die?,
But I've been watching all along,
It's almost time to say goodbye,

I was mad at you at first,
I cried about you in my bed,
The thoughts that made you pull the trigger,
Are the same ones running through my head.

A bullet for breakfast never sounded so great,
If you only knew it was this bad, you'd beg me to wait,
Sorry babe, only one choice to make,
It wasn't mine from the start, god ****** up my brain,

Time to **** it up twice,
"That kid from school? But he was so nice..,
He was so funny, he made everyone smile",
I'm the only who knows you're lying, blood racing between tiles,

We're not all made like you,
White teeth, glowing smile,
Mom and dad always home, big house,only child,
See, god ****** up your brain too, but nowhere like mine,
You got lucky, you were born blind,
I was born with the biggest eyes,
Dullest voice and most active mind,
And right in the crown, that's where god signed,
"Sorry son, I couldn't do better, I'll see you soon though, don't forget to write your mom a letter".

She left when the light no longer washed over her sun-touched skin,
The blinds covered up her crinkled nose and selfish grin,
I asked when?,
She said never,
We laughed it off,
I said "you better",
Sure enough I did, I saw her that week,
I smiled when she opened her car door,
Went to kiss her cheek,
Skin smooth under my lips,
Her perfume was sweet,
Winter pushed to summer,
According to the heat,
It was time for you to go,
Alone in my room again,
Except this time you'll be gone,
Time for back to what I've been,
"Have fun" I said,
It slithered out between my teeth,
You said you would but you'd miss me,
I laughed and knew this was the last time I'd kiss your cheek.

A self-performed lobotomy,
I need a new one every night,
If there isn't a vice for me to abuse,
Just don't wake me up,
I don't wanna be awake for a night I can remember,
How sad is that?,
Your perfume is a reminder of things meant for better days,
On a jacket I spent my worst ones in,
I hate this life, it's such a burden,
Why do I have to spend half of it doing things I hate,
Sulking in my room,
I'm 60 years late for my lobotomy appointment,
So I guess I'll just do it myself,
Watch me drown myself in sorrow,
All you tried to do was help.

I can taste you in my sheets,
Your bare skin made an appearance in an empty place,
I can tell you're cold under my breath,
Waiting to cut me open with your sharp tongue and quick wit,
Dissect me and discard me, I know how good you are at that,
All I am is an empty space,
You've filled that void but god only knows how long you'll stay,
Nothing against you,
I wouldn't either,
Why even ask?
I wouldn't bother,
I am in a long line of blood cells waiting to be pumped through your body,
You have fueled me,
You will also burn me down.