yúyīn: Favorites

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Mental

Nov 2017 yúyīn

River

Mental

Many a psychiatrist
Sitting in their stiff leather chair,
Has tried to tell me
What is wrong in my head
They review tests I've taken
With scales
Asking me how much I feel something-
One through three?
They dole out myriad pills,
That cause further distress
I try to keep my mind a placid place,
But these pills and these labels keep me in constant chaos
All the different labels plastered around me:
Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, OCD, PTSD...
Doctor, won't you tell me,
Which one is it exactly?
I've gone to all these doctors,
And they all tell me something different
I'm starting to doubt their veracity
I can no longer be discontent, I can no longer be sad, I can no longer be stressed, I can no longer obsess occasionally about an arbitrary mistake, I can no longer be super elated without reason, I can no longer recount a haunting experience...
Without being mental in some way
And having a pill pushed on me by some "well meaning" doctor
Instead of taking the time to actually stop for a moment, open their ears, and get in touch with the very real experience of offering to help carry a burden,
With a little something called empathy.

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Insomnia

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

Insomnia

Every time I close my eyes
I sense fear in my bones
Fear of falling, fear of breaking into pieces again
Every time I close my eyes
I wish to get my brain paralyzed for a while
Hoping to get rid of my nightmares
Every time I close my eyes
I pray for sweet dreams to come to my sight
But ignorance is the only answer I find
Just someday... or one day ... I only wish to rise after the sun rise

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Stand by my side

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

Stand by my side

Just for once stand by my side
No tags or ties ... only you by my side
I know I am crazy and unbearable sometimes but have a heart of gold if required
I always have a pasted smile only because I am scared to be left behind
Feeling of being judged haunts me all night long and that's why I try to fit in others shoe right
Standing strong for everybody to lean on, covered in makeup so nobody can inspect me marred
To find the objective of the never-ending journey I need somebody to stand by my side
Stay strong or be crazy just like me but just for once stand by my side
No tags or ties ... only you by my side
Maybe the pain of being stabbed will be gone
Maybe I will learn to survive the deplorable
Maybe acceptance will overtake my world
Maybe for once ... just stand by my side
No tags or ties only you by my side ...

Nov 2017 yúyīn

PAIN

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

PAIN

The pain you cant bear anymore
Surrounded by the crowd you were at my sight
Eyed at you from distance and sensed the pain concealed in your eyes
With every brick lifted a piece of heart was detached
With the deepest dark secrets revealed I felt slight alleviation in your eyes
Just when I thought everything was neat the pain in your eyes was recalled
You rebuild the barrier to hallucinate
But I had to withdraw and show you the sun
Standing strong and lighting up the entire world
Little did I know the other side still in nightfall
Fighting with the pain you cant bear anymore
While I prayed everything to be fine fear dominated your spine humiliating you till you succumb
Eyed from distance I could see the concealed pain visit again
I tried to share your pain as it is impossible to take it away
The walls were at the peak unable to even peep
Searching for the door hoping for some generosity
Wrapped in red ribbon defeat was gifted to me
To find the dents of your smile I will battle the deity and the demon let alone the world
Will not drop the anchor until I become a chunk of your hallucination
As long as I breathe my ambition will be to reside with yours concealed pain

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Shadow

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

Shadow

A shadow always followed me ...
When I was a little girl, I fell off a tree my mum was not around to dust my bruise but a shadow followed me
That's when we first met when I turned three
It revealed as a guardian angel who was assigned just for me
First-day at school I cried because parting drove me crazy
But there it was making me smile telling me everything will be fine
We played together it helped me find me ally
As the cravings were satisfied, always wished for everybody to smile
Right when everything felt pleasant
A rupture tore us apart, even when I was coated in filth it did not come over to comfort
It watched me from farness stabbed bleed cry, also left me to die but did not come forth to make me smile
My belief in it turned fable alike fiction portrayed by a painter
I fumbled when wakened tried to gain conscious
Unable to recall my own smile I strived to recoup it to my being
No longer witnessed at distance either
I fated to walk the path alone forced to stand on my own
Hoped for it to reunite but was deceived by my belief
Unable to decide if my prayers are delayed or declined
Oh, GOD! Please be my guardian angel again and bring back my happy times

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Something belongs to me but its not mine

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

Something belongs to me but its not mine

From the time I was a fan of fairytale
I dreamt of you every night
Every morning I woke up I prayed for you to be mine
Then came a day when everything was seen with open eyes
Flaunting the glass shoes, holding a glass of red wine
Red carpet entrance in white dress riding a carriage
Star gazed by the audience walking down the aisle
Amused it was time to strike off the wish from the bucket list
It was perfect hour, time to recite the vows
Pledging for the eternity, to be each other's permanently
Gut felt the butterflies as everything was precise
The enchanted spell was uttered, the magical words "I Do" reran their world
For the first time, I could witness happily ever after come true
Old habits die hard ... a peck was placed on the forehead
The piece of stone was traded, the first dance on favourite song was shared
Everything was flawless did not want the clock to strick twelve
Yearning to relive every minute again... the dress, shoes and the wine
Walking down the aisle beaming in your eyes posing opposite you
Demanding to live the moment instead of looking from far behind
All should belong to me and all should be mine

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Forever

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB

Forever

He thought he was not worth her
She thought she did not deserve him
Few years later they vowed to be together
FOREVER...

Nov 2017 yúyīn

Perfect

Nov 2017 yúyīn

SB