Sweaty palms and judgmental town
Trying to make it through but you're always so down
You want a car and the boy to look at you, but your head explodes when your thoughts don't come true
You want out so bad even after all the great things you've had
You close your eyes and clench your fists trying to tell yourself "This doesn't exsist"
But when he smiles it's not serenity, it's a million trumpets, it's a ******* obscenity.
I am insanity, a mess, I need to be cleaned up, never full always half empty in this cup
My bed gives me warm hugs, my brains been eaten by bugs
Everything is fine, everything's okay, he doesn't have the power, just makes my heart beat a million miles per hour.

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.

If you are in a hurry,
go ahead and don't
bother to wait for me.
My life still needs me.

Some untold stories,
an unsung song,
an incomplete conversation,
an unread book.
Some bridges to build
some to burn,
wounds to heal
fences to mend
relations to tend...

In my hurry
to catch up with you,
I breathlessly ran and
I left behind
so many moments,
breathtaking moments.
Let me catch up  
with them now,

I'll catch up
wtth you later...

why must everyone tell each other what to do all the time
can we not coexist in love and peace
like we were meant to? can we not simply
work toward a goal, without mindless power play
or unnecessary roughness? we are human,
we are human, we are human, is all I hear, reasons
and excuses given for our misbehavior, our lies and harms;
it's only human nature! they cry as they steal and cheat
it must be human nature, says the violent criminal,
sadly, it is human nature, sighs the priest:
these are not good enough- this cannot be good enough
for if your heart calls you to love and you feel it then why haven't you?
every human's heart is made for and of
love, community, friendship, socialization-
that is what we are and that is what we need
we are clearly striving for good, we are clearly beautiful,
we are clearly searching for the truth
human nature cannot be evil if its most earnest desire is good.
yes, we are human- but we were made for better things.

I was not force fed ideas
Growing up my mom viewed us as wild flowers
Strong enough to soak up the sun in our own way
Allowing weeds to share our space
Never choking
Their chance at living just as important as our own
Guidelines were simple, still are
Respect others
Your space is precious, as is their's
Forgive transgressions
Grudges will fester
Above all
Listen
*You hear a lot more if you are not only waiting for your turn to talk

It was first time in a long time,
That nothing held me back.
Years had passed it seemed,
Since I had no strings attached.

Strings I then cast off,
Constrained by no thing or one.
Never again to miss a chance,
No responsibility but fun.

I live life like I wish,
Finally, truly free.
Happiness in letting go,
In living just for me.

I surround myself with like people,
Enlightened, cheery, loud.
We run around and love our lives,
Not worry nor doubt is found.

Some call us irresponsible,
But only those unlike us.
They haven't learned their full potential,
They look with old disgust.

But they can't begin to hold us back,
When we are flying free of all.
We have no past, no future here,
Only the present in which to fall.

Occasionally we lose a member,
One whose weakness drags them down.
Sometimes it is unrequited love,
Sometimes they guilt for those around.

But we fly on, on,
I don't see it ever ending.
We have now surpassed it all,
Our will is never bending.

Occasionally we find others,
Who share our enlightened state.
We frolic and we play and laugh,
Engage in lively debate.

We are not on a path to failure,
Please don't get me wrong.
We still ensure our own successes,
We just don't worry about it long.

What is the point of living life,
With faulty hopes and dreams?
Why not let go and live for yourself,
Define what this life means?

This is where I found my peace,
My full love and happiness.
No strings attached is my best way,
I've never loved more than this.

Without fail we will go on,
Loving life to its fullest.
Quietly aiding those drowning in demons,
Showing them why life exists.

Until my bones are but dust,
And my heart fails to beat,
I will free myself from the dirt,
And live as I want to be.