Please remember me
Fondly
When we were laughing on the porch
My pupils wide with understanding
You shivering in the cold
I sat on your lap and you wrapped your arms around me
I felt your breath on my collar bones
We held hands
I traced your veins all the way up your arms
In 10 15 20 years I hope to remember that night
And I pray that you will remember me
Fondly

In the warmth of your basement
We sat under sweaters and blankets
Kissing when we hit writer's block
And eventually
Writing over one another
In a startlingly permanent way

For the rest of the evening
We didn't say very much at all;
We just let the moment sink in
Under our skins
Manifesting itself
In the shivery feeling you get
When a hand
Almost touches yours

my entire life has been
trying to convince myself to live
then talking myself out of it

No matter how many pills
No matter how strong
No matter the cocktail of meds
I can't seem to be who they want.

I can't be the ideal human
I can't be that model of society
I can't bring myself to swallow their rules
I can't stand up and swallow their pills any longer

I know what they want from me
I know how they want me
I know what everyone wants
Everyone but me

You know what its like
Depression dragging behind you all day
The psychopath in you screaming to gain reigns
The crazy illusions as schizophrenia settles in
The lack of anything as the sociopath wraps you in a blanket
The madness that you've grown to love
As it all slowly takes you your handed a cup with a pill

It is the cage to keep your mind as it is alive
It lets you step outside the hovel of your mind
And lock all those memories and screaming away
A new you

Is it really you anymore
Our reason is based upon who we've grown up as
Why can't we think how we were made too
Why are we to blame when we didn't raise ourselves

The key to your mind was and will never be the pills
The medicine is just a cage to mold you how they want us
The key to our happiness is and will always be ourselves
Its in all of our minds

That sickening depression do what relieves it
The psychopathic beast inside unleash it
The schizophrenic visions embrace them
The lack of humanity that blankets your mind
Let yourself do as your supposed

No one in this world can make you happy all the time
No one but ourselves
We are our own master of mind.
If reason doesn't suit you release it.
Madness is like a comforter when you wake up on a cold day
It will keep you happy and healthy

Accept the medicine if you want reality
If reality even with the cage isn't comfortable come with me
Dance in the madness of anarchy
Let your mind run free
Let yourself be who you were born to be

I think about your stupid face
all the ******* time
I wish I knew how it felt
to have your lips on mine
But who would choose a clump of dirt
in a bowl of chocolate chips
I smell like cigarettes
look like death
**** like an animal
I'm a complete degenerate loser
I don't have the confidence to tell you how I feel
So I guess I'll stick to putting love letters
under your windshield wipers

you've taught me
how to turn myself
inside out
and come home.

frozen blades of grass
brushing worn soles
cushioning the pathway
back to your house.
I passed out
and dreamt that familiar faces
swore for a world without me.
I believed them
unconsciously pouring out more tears.
broken nervous words.

I know the roads
that will take me to your street.
too terrified to walk
knowing that it's abandoned
leaving broken glass stuck in my feet.

I've laid here long enough
to realize the pain in my stomach.
Who are we to become so busy?
Who are we to forget?

Holding back
as lines start to blur
we forget who we were
with no answers on what to fix.

cold nights shake me.

"I'll stop believing in you
when you stop being real."

World shifts

I see truth in the cracks
Everything is beautiful

And you see everything

I don't know what we said
Heads spinning on the room
Looking at the moon
I drew and drew and drew

Beautiful Moon People is the only thing I remember you saying

I only remember tracing veins
and Squeezing hands

I trace your back
Someone tries to sleep
I have to deal with so and so tomorrow
Don't let tomorrow consume you
Tomorrow is tomorrow and now is now
You can only be sure of the present

or can you?

Melt swirl run turn
I see the universe

the time spent hoping
for rain has been futile.
With each minute passing
second hand tumble our
memories become reduced
to questions, so as I’m
waking up in taxi cabs
wondering where the sky
went, I’ll think of your
lips ******* cancer and
your fingers holding
your future like a
crystal ball fortune
gypsy screaming “these
coming days will be
hard! Your lungs will
collapse and your heart
will turn to stone!”
But you smile and cough
and I imagine you
crying when I say
there is nowhere to go
from here. And now the
taxi man is demanding
a location, but I only
can give him snapshots
with sun-faded ink
cursive and he kicks me
out so I walk home
and try to sleep and
in the morning I forgot
what I did and who I
saw so I didn’t even bother
saying goodbye