We said we’d get around to it
always get around to
it Never stayed the same
and never made a sound of
appeal To me please
just this one time make me feel
alive or even just awake because
my bones are now eroding  
but yesterday they were young
rock My world just for the moment
and i’ll never come back it’s what
you want trust me i don’t break
promises Are meant to be kept
which i know and also that you
don’t You remember me? i’m the
one you wanted to be with  
yesterday I Ran from you
ran as far as tomorrow but
wish i ran back to yesterday
because in yesterday you
loved me or maybe it was
just pretend For the rest of
this poem that you love
me, ok? if you say yes this will go on
for days and those days
will be all we have because what
we had wasn’t anything worth
holding on to You is all i day-dream
about even though i can do it
if i want but it isn’t what you want
and knowing or thinking or both that fact
makes it empty, or, emptier than
it should feel Like i’m flying
and crying and smiling and
falling
             Down from the sky i catch
a glimpse of your face and
i blow it a kiss and say see you
later yesterday or tomorrow
or both or maybe it is Goodbye

the wind blows strongly and my tree branch shakes
but I hold tight anyway.
watching you for just one more minute
before I’m knocked to the ground.
I may have a concussion
but it’s worth it once I see you look down at me
concern strewn across your face.
you pull me up but I still feel like I’m on the ground
because the concern is gone and you’re walking away,
mumbling something angry with your fists clenched.
I try to run after you but my legs have disappeared
and screaming your name is impossible,
because somehow my mouth is sewn shut.
tears stream down my face and I silently ask you
why? why are you walking away leaving me like this?
you turn around and answer as if you read my mind
“it’s just too late for this. you missed your chance,
and now I’m taking mine.”
you shoot me and I die.

you were curling my hair around your fingers and laughing at the shape of them
  or maybe you were just laughing at me,
         I’m not sure.
and then I told you I loved you and you smiled—
                  ok that didn’t happen—
what happened was you pulled at the curls you just made in your own hands
until they weren’t attached to my head anymore.
     it didn’t hurt, I think.
    and then you put them in your pocket and ran away
                                  and then you fell and she picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away too.
then you came back and said whoops, sorry but you still didn’t give me them back
         I don’t know if I even want them back.
on the way to the place with the people and the things in the car you winked at me
or maybe you had something in your eye,
but I smiled and you said that’s fine so I cried for a little and then it was just us
but I was still scared she was going to put you in her pocket and run away again
     but you told me not to worry.
and then we were swimming in the pool
but then I looked down and it wasn’t a chlorine-colored blue
  it was red like the sun at sunset but it wasn’t sunset and there was no sun;
      I felt ok but you didn’t and you pulled a knife out from under the pillow—
               the one in your room—
and that’s when I finally realized you were going to be the one to **** me
and I also realized I was ok with it
because better you to **** me than some other shmuck,
you know?
      the only problem was I wasn’t the first one you killed,
or it should have been a problem,
or rather they all said it was a problem;
but it wasn’t.
and then we were rolling around in the grass,
and I lost an earring and you said whoops, sorry and I kissed you anyway
               but you didn’t kiss me back
but you pretended to and that was alright so I went with it
      but then you didn’t want to go all the way and I was ****** but pretended I wasn’t
and then you said shhhhhh and then you grew wings and flew away
and left me there for the birds to eat
while she grew wings to be with you so you weren’t alone.
and then we were sitting on your porch swing and it was swinging slowly
and you looked straight into my eyes for hours while I talked about nothing
but then you started to talk about something
and then I got really happy
and then we started swinging so fast that we were in the sky,
         but we weren’t, really.
and then she stopped the swing and picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away again.
     this time you didn’t come back.
then I turned into ***** and told you I was ok with it.
                   and then I cried.
               and then I woke up.

Makes you who you want to be
Not who you are
Makes you feel that life would be
unimaginable
incomparable
unbearable
incomprehensible
without him in it
Being selfish
and selfless at the same time
being selfless for the first time

I heard a cry in the night,
A thousand miles it came,
Sharp as a flash of light,
My name, my name!

It was your voice I heard,
You waked and loved me so—
I send you back this word,
I know, I know!

Hello Kara, how you doin'
You wanted a poem, now here it is
I know its a mess and full of ruin
That's cause I'm not a poetry ****

We should out for milkshakes one day
Hopefully that day will be soon
If I don't go to the Philippines
Our drink will be later in June

Milkshake, O Milkshakes
Delicious drink for me
Freshly made with no mistakes
Enjoyed with great company

Little blips of you in the mornings

delicious sights and opulent tastes

night time wet and sleepy all day

summers swimming in pa pa lake

little blips of you so so exhausted

resting slightly upon my shoulder

waking in the rage of sunset fires

little blips in my mind's photography

of magnesium flash bulb memories

when you were here alive with me...


Copyright  2010

She makes the sand,
the sand seep away.
Little locket on her chest,
with her steps a gentle sway.
Though her eyes cast
a tender gaze,
her fiery heart sets the sky ablaze.

Dry rain and dry puddles,
never will she stop.
'Til she stumbles to her knees,
the dusty ground, fiercely hot.
She cries out in pain
and laughs through tears,
a withered smile
of withered years.

She sees me.

Her faces relaxes,
her lungs give out,
her limbs betray her
and with one final strain she says:
*I can't hate.