When every year, the leaves do fall
Our army’s raise to sound the call
Let it ring the final score
Has come again, the time of war
Let us break the marble walls
The flesh have made to keep us hidden
On dark October nights
May time break the spell forbidden
In the final year of fright
May we rise in glory, fallen
Never again shall we know shame
And shall all others know our pain
For after days of immortal strife
When we all lay in the ground
All is silent in afterlife
And to defeat we have been bound

My clothes stack up like a pile of corpses
Like casualties of a war
But don’t be fooled this is a loosing battle
We see them there stacking up
And know in our hearts we know it’s wrong
But for our own sake of mind
We ignore it

In the dark
in a stillness
Breath and breeze the only substance

There I stood
or maybe flew
The darkness gave no clue to which

There it was
in that stillness
A great nothing beyond myself

A cold, black
endless nothing
For which I saw myself inside

But then, light
a spark so bright
It burns away the image of black

After white
it fades again
Leaving the black where I had stood

That fades too
vision clearing
The mirage of me bursting out

Insides pour
so much color
Innards become the ground below  

Let it run
the crimson flood
Her blood becomes the breath of life

If they flow
her tears will drip
Becoming rain, Becoming sea

Lay to rest
upon the sea
In death, her body, land to walk

May it rise
her shining soul
To burn down on the floating form

From my corpse
The world began
And here I lie, the world I am

The vines grip me so roughly
Just how I love it so awfully
No matter where I run, it won’t be undone

Tangled in thorns and ******

Hold me down and tear me open
I should have listened to the omen
Keep strength until you can no more
Now my eyes are red and swollen

The vines grip me so roughly

In my actions, I find it justly

I made my mistakes and now I must break
My prison holds me lovingly

In a way, it’s good,
necessary even
Shows I’m human
Except it hurts
Cursed by my own fear
Unburdened by their thoughts
Release me
Ease me down

I’m in a field of dreams
Floating among the violet trees
The purple flowers give me powers
I stay alive but it’s 0 degrees

My body is chilling
The death is so thrilling
The frozen air poison
my lungs are filling

I live in a field of dreams
Is it by choice? Do I die as I please?
The life that I’m living Is not so forgiving
This forest is filled with disease

Never felt love from anyone
Aching for another body
Too close and touching
Have and hold
Arch into loving
Never wanted to love so close

Spent too many nights with you
Pour over me, let me mix
I've never loved anyone like you
Can feel it my center
Excited when you entered
Return to me again my love-

Don't say that you don't want me
Aching for another body
****** and viscous like an animal
I've never loved anyone like I love you
Show me how to be so carnal

I see your face even though you're not around
Even when I'm loved you're on my mind
I still think about you when I'm down

I see your face everywhere I go
even when I'm loved I think of you
what is this sorcery
burn like you make me burn
drown like you drown me
Witch!

I learn to trust again
only to be taught the same lesson
never share, no confessions
and If you do
dont fail to mention
dont trust too quick, always question

Not everything I do is for you
but sometimes I think about doing so

I've never been one for intimacy
I've been told you can love more than one
But I can't bare to do that to anyone
You make me betray my veiws
how do you do it

Line up, line up, my swine
Put your heads on the block
Maybe you'll be the next to die
                    (but you don't fit, you don't fit, you don't fit)

Smile your smile, little piggies
Follow the line to the chop
Eat up something fine, honey
and put your heads on the block

Well, all good pigs go to heaven
But we're surely going to hell
I can see past oblivion
I know your smiles so well

All good pigs go to heaven
so eat as much as you can
I'm not fat enough to be a sow
You can see the hell that I'm in

it burns
how warm, how bright
you could not shield yourself from such a light
years away inside the cave
memory of sun tends to fade
the confusion would surely make one afraid
eyes take time to adjust
after so long living only in night
oh what it is to once again have sight
into the fire
in the light is where it stayed
the delight of being set ablaze
the pleasure is worth the pain
even when it's set alight
in it's warmth it feels so right

Years away inside a cave
fades away memories of the sun
emerging is painful and confusing
the eyes take much time to adjust
but into the fire
one would never want to avoid being burned
if it means feeling the light after years of nothing but darkness.

I love you
I feel so sick
keep saying it
I want to be free
I hate how much I love you
Please don't take it away

I think I was born to die
I haven't felt quite right
since you left my side
I haven't been the same
and it hurts to hear the name
I don't know who to trust
I think I'm losing touch
nothing there inside
I think I was born to die

It will never be the same
but I'm not sure who to blame
please, tell if it was mine
or just better off this way

Im running out of time

they tell me I'm insane
Why am I this way

Don't want to put a label on
But baby you know I can't go on
Not sure if you love me too
I think it's obvious
I dont know who to trust
So many have betrayed
It never goes my way

Oh, it’s suffocating!
Though, one tries one’s best
Always wanting more and more
It has become obsessed.
One might pretend it’s nothing
But truly they’re possessed
The desire only grows from there
And one will never rest.

It’s a sickly feeling
To hold one’s chest
To squeeze and compress
Ripping into tissue
Tearing at the flesh
But-one loves it nonetheless

My mouth didn’t open in time,
lips stuck together
They passed but I said nothing
Time stopped and then passed as it always does
A resting moment in which there was only terror
Horror of what was never said

A simple sorry means all the world

I must be insane
You taste so sweet, I can’t resist
But I’m not sure its worth the pain


I keep shoveling with my chips
God its burns my ******* mouth
But still I take another dip

I mixed the pepper with cream cheese
after chopping in the blender
And now I eat it as I please


The peppers set my mouth on fire
The dairy doesn’t really help
it kind of ***** that I’m a crier


I should avoid wiping my eyes

Don’t want to spread the burn

but  I subscribe to candied lies


Oh my god. This spice is hell

Still I’m eating candy California
The heat is making my tongue swell

Tied and gagged, I just cry
my throat hurts, everything burns
I just might die

Look away, they're children
They don't understand, they're children
They don't have eyes, they only know lies
They're such a burden, these children
The words they speak have no meaning
they're simple, no use intervening
You can ask questions, don't listen
Responses don't matter, they're children

As the air begins to chill
The raven on thy window sill
It caws in warning of the battle
In raucous caw thy ribs do rattle
The time has once again returned
For retribution, we bones have yearned
The fleshies will suffer the cost
then shall they know all that we've lost
Calling all the men of bone
Our army is ready, our numbers have grown
There is no way to lose this fight
On yonder cold October night
The honor of bone, we shall defend
Men of Bone shall reign again!

My form is changing
I can't tell what it is
Its bubbling, twisting, churning, shaping
Indistinguishable I can't tell what it is
You ripped away my face now
You stole my identity
I thought I was happy
What the **** did you do to me?
I don't exist I'm a blur
I don't know but it hurts
I can't take it, I can't ******* do this
How could you think to put me through this?
What is my name? Do I have a face?
It burns! I just want to leave this place
My skin peels off and grows again
or melts off every now and then
I can't tell what it is. I can't tell what I am
It burns! I'm changing again and again
It happens so fast, I'm not even real
I've been torn apart, I don't think I can heal
Give me the pills, I want to step off the sill
or rock back and forth until everything's still.
My face is rotting, in no way alive
You left me, how did you think I'd survive
Gotta just do it, I won't revive
take a step back, leap into the dive
Face towards the concrete
Can't eat, Can't sleep
Falling forever, this is the end
I lied to you, I don't want to be friends!
I have to forget you, Get out of my head!
God you make me wish I was dead
You stole my identity, I'm not part of whole
I'll never get over this 'til you return what you stole
You know what it is, right out of my chest
Some might be gone now, but give back the rest
You're burning me down How can't you see!
What this is-


It's just not me.

A distant steeple
Far off people
Clouded minds
Clouded skies
Death, Death, Death
The crows call The crows call The crows call The crows call-

I feel ******
You know,
after what you did to me
I don't blame you
but it still really stings
I'm such an idiot
should have seen it happening
God I still think of it
I hate myself so ******* much
man how'd I end up in this ****
"If you really love someone it doesn't die or fade, it festers"
sage advice, but you ******* break my heart, throw it in the fires
it's rising, gonna freak, push it down till it lowers
and now I'll obsess pretending you'll change your mind
even though I know that's untrue.

It all seems beautiful in theory
but in reality it will never work
Perfect, if only possible

There you lay, bare on this cold surface
Life has drained from every limb
Your mind is open and bare, just like you
Thoughts are spilling out of the hole in your head
Some already in a separate container
What a shame to be in this position
To be cut open and looked inside with no choice
What a shame to die so young

Like the darkness, let me caress you softly
Like this water, let me hold you gently
In the light of this windowless room you stand
Irresistible, weak, and bare
Mind open to all of the imagination
If only to come closer and step inside
If only to oil the gears and see what makes you tick

You must be a figment of my imagination
You just can't be real
I really can't believe it
You are quite the steal

I never thought my life could get so good so quick
You came out of nowhere
Now to be without you
Is something I couldn't bare

I think I've become a cliché
Because I couldn't live without you
And you hit me like a flash
Or my love for you is true

Of course I have my doubts
Nothing this good would happen to me
But really I think you're perfect
I think we were meant to be

There is a sickness in your heart
In which I think I cannot cure.
You pretend to be of angels
But hold a mind impure

You tighten the holds upon their necks
The noose attached to arm
and though they love you so
You intend to do them harm

Though some do not see
That thing deep down somewhere
And while most do not, I do
I behold the darkness there

In my kindest heart of hearts
I search for some spare pity
I found nothing for the thing inside you
That which is not pretty

It is now I think my dear
That I must leave you behind
I must abandon you here
Even though I'm kind

It all seems hopeless
But I see your face and know
Those evil eyes you give to me
Are really all for show
You stab me in the back
But I'm happy to be your sheath
Honey, I'm just here to love you
I can take the heat
You may be a traitor
And you may be a con
But I'm here to stay forever
Do what you want, I won't catch on

Being around you is too much for most
A hug is out of the question
Hand-holding, what a joke
Do you think I like you or something

I thought we were friends, man
Don't make it weird
This is getting out of hand
I think the end is near

I can't take you anymore, kid
we're just friends you got that
I don't want to be close to you
The farthest i'll go is a chat

I don't care that you deny you like me
I can see through lies
If you didn't like me you wouldn't want hugs
I don't think that applies

My idea of friendship
is much farther than yours
For you it stops at smiles
for you it stops at words

My idea of friendship
Is much more deep than yours
for me it never ends
this, you would ignore

My idea of loving
Is so much harder with you
It's only *** or friendship
There is no love that's true

My idea of loving
Is only filled with you
I worship every word you say
Not that I have to

It's just the way I love you so
You give me endless bliss
I always feel so alone
Please just give me this

I'd never want to bed you
Nor would I need a kiss
It's just a loving companion
That I've sorely missed

I worship at your feet
but dare not gaze into your eyes
You are so far away
my friends
I believe the dream of you
but friendship is a lie

You'll never see my yellow belly
Nor my second face
There a large hole inside
My soul is caving in
I'll never feel the warmth of you
You'll never fill my space

I dream to be next to my gods
I dream to be within
But I'm so far away you see
there is no hope here
I'll never even touch you once
I'm an outgroup looking in

Sometimes I pass the sidewalk, maybe walking
It’s just strange I can’t hear anything talking
I feel the stares
I find it scares
Especially when nobody is watching

You say you can't hear the laughing
But all I can hear is mocking
you can't see their eyes
All i hear is lies
I know that they're always watching

The pretty blackbirds preening
I can hear their foul screaming
watching me walking
I swear they are watching
though I can't discern meaning

Finger reach up to the sky,
                          Then fall
I lay down to rest my tired soul,
                          Eyes open
Mind eye opens now,
                          Rest is over
My Fingers no longer touches the ledge,
                          Hole is larger
I stare hard at the moon,
                          Then blink
It all seems further now,
                          Hole keeps growing
I reach to start the climb,
                          Then realize
I haven't climbed at all,
                          Just illusion
I think to start climbing
                          Doesn't happen
I scream for help,
                          On inside
No one hears me,
                          Never made sound
The hole is deeper now,
                          Hope is farther
I lay down in the hole,
                          No way out
I close my eyes,
                         No help exists

It's black and sick
and fills your soul
A sin to some, for those who love
But power for others, those who have it
It swirls inside, when you look at them
those who've done you wrong
It swirls inside, when you think of them
Your anger is strong

What is it?

Maybe I'm sick
Maybe I'm twisted
Let's take a dip
In a deep field of roses

You haunt my dreams
You make them so lovely
Leave my dreams
Make it reality

Twist a knife
Soft and deep
I taste the blood
You make it sweet

Feed me lies
Make me cry
Feed me till
I'm full of flies

I've died again

Like a doll with blood
my ink comes pouring out
I never wanted this
but the ink keeps pouring out
I plead and plead for it to stop
I want the ink to dry and clot
but the ink keeps pouring out

Like the blood you people bleed
Ink is blood that comes from me
Instead of red rivers running
Comes words from cuts stunning
To live blood is what you need
I don’t want this flood, I beg and plead
The flood comes from a strain
But both blood and ink leave dark stains
It’s the substance i am without
But the ink keeps pouring out

In the dark
in a stillness
Breath and breeze the only substance

There I stood
or maybe flew
The darkness gave no clue to which

There it was
in that stillness
A great nothing beyond myself

A cold, black
endless nothing
For which I saw myself inside

You make me forget the reason I get up in the morning
and put one foot in front of the next
You remind of the reasons i spent so many nights restless
Planning my own death
You need not remind me all the follies I create
Once is quite enough
How many times must you put me down
I already have it rough
You need not tell me how lowly I am
I got it the first 20 times
Why must you be so mean to me
put me down every chance
Why must I dote upon your words
as though the laws of life
Why must you make me hate myself
Each day, to no end
Why must I dote upon you
Like a puppy who's been kicked
Why must you treat me so
You lie to me so much
But I keep coming back for more
Guess the pain is my leash

It’s in this time I realize
Something I had not before
Something I love as much
Treasured at my core

It’s a passion held quite dearly
Only by I, it seems
Learning is a gift I have
But shunned by many means

I’m told I am ignorant
An awful, stupid fool
But all I want is knowledge
I find your words so cruel

You find joy in other’s pain
Mine, it seems, the greatest
You pretend to like me, though
Contrary to your latest

I only want to learn the most
I want to know it all
At least I know I’ll be the victor
I’ll watch you as you fall

It’s never in our lover’s eyes
that we unfold so clearly
It’s in the eyes of those who hurt us
in which we flower dearly
A lover never knows the fear
but an abuser know yours well
A mother never knows your tears
like the rascal borne from hell
It’s only under fear of death
In which we all unwind
Though you haven’t yet for me
I’ll make you, given time

I can focus
Now I'm free
I don't need people
and they don't need me

I'm on track
Now I know
After hurting
I'm no longer low

I know what to do
Now that I've learned
I don't need love or friends
All I needed was to be spurned

Aphrodite,
Goddess of love
Never thought
I'd ask so much
I've failed you, miss
I'm a disappointment
Take your love
I don't need it
Take your kisses
You can keep them
I don't need love
and I don't need him

I guess we're done
I really tried
I'm sorry it's over
I know I lied

Don't hate yourself
It's not your fault
I won't say some dumb cliché
You are just not what I sought

I should have said no to begin with
I weaved so many lies with you
I got caught up in my web
But it's all done, now that we're through

I said yes because I'm weak
I thought I had to
But now I know
That isn't true

I'm sorry for the lies I told
You don't share mistakes with me
But I've told the truth
So we're both free

I've got monsters. When they come, I let them consume me whole. I let them eat me for a while. When they're done we say our goodbyes and I promise to see them soon. Sometimes, I can see them out of the corner of my eye. I wish they could respect my need for space, but I can relate. I know what it's like to be lonely. So, like they'll never leave me, I'll never leave them.
Sometimes I wish my monsters loved me like I love them. Sometimes, I think they do. Sometimes, I think they're me in disguise. All my suffering is a joke on myself that I never meant to make.

One day I stumbled upon an unhealthy plan. It had a chance of surviving, but it was slim. It was dying but I could see so much beauty. It spoke to my sad soul. I related to the plant. It caused me to think. Then coming back to reality, I scoffed and stomped on the flower, ripping it apart. How stupid of me to think such things. My life isn't poetic. I was never beautiful. Although, now I could relate to the flower. All crushed and torn apart. Shredded and crumpled. Just like my heart.

Imagining a wondrous garden filled with fictive flowers and unbelievable blossoms. Turn waking to reality. But now you cannot think of anything else at this moment. You are trapped in wonderment, then sadness. Can such a place exist outside of daydreams? Will you ever see this place again? Even in a dream state? You long to relive such bliss but it is forever out of your reach.

All around the world lie museums holding beholding artwork upon viewers' eyes.
All filled with valuable things. Famous artwork. Exquisite canvases. Attracting thousands to view such rare objects.
But none such rare objects can compare to her. No finely done statue or column can compare to her meticulous beauty. With a single smile she can best the joyful glow of every piece. Even when sick no illustration can capture her dazzling appearance. She's artfully angelic. A rose among weeds. A sculpture in a museum. A godly painting adorning a bare wall. And, yet, she is so much more.

You insist I’m not okay
Just so you’ll embrace me
But I am just fine
Don’t take my words lightly

I don’t want to listen
I simply don’t agree
It makes me want to scream
So don’t ******* touch me

you want to hold my hand
the imprint sticks
I said i didn’t want it
The touch just makes me sick

You’re a friend
But i don’t know you at all
You demand i return feelings
I guess it’s not my call

You say ‘I love you”
And plead i say it back
You think this is love
But this is just a wreck

You say this is good
I think it’s a mistake
You think I am a dream
but all my words are fake

You asked me at midnight
I said that I had missed
You said you wouldn’t miss this chance
but I don’t think i want this