Take a rose flower and hold it to your lips
Look up at the stars, and send the sky a kiss
Then you must whisper, and  you must say
"I don’t wish to live past tonight or today"

I think I'm overthinking
I think you know it's true
I'm always thinking
my thoughts are a crutch
But, I’m always overthinking
I think I think way too much.

I think I'm having overthoughts
I think I really think too much

I think I think thoughts so much I've overthought
I think I have no more overthoughts to think

I'm always changing and also the same as before
I'm so confused, I can't think anymore
My thoughts are too quick, and they never slow down
They hold me, and sink me, and then I drown.

Thoughts are never what you ask for
They're all deep, dark, and gore
But sometimes they're ropes and other times crowns
Though, somehow, you'll always be left wanting more.

I'm a living contradiction of human perception
I'm lost in the world, always changing direction.
My will is so weak and the truths never hold
I'll never know all the lies that I've told.

My mind is a dark place in want of perfection
But that's not specified, there's always exceptions.
The only thing I can truly say bold
Is I never decide 'til my heart is sold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I seem to have a never-ending problem. I make countless mistakes. No break between folly. My inadequacies destroy my hopes of being happy. By being happy even in the slightest, I bring out fear, doubt, and hate for myself. So pathetic.

I think to myself, perhaps, that it would have been better not confessing my love. I did it in hopes of rejection. Then it would be over. I could love in silence and perhaps cease to exist in his eyes. Now I have countless unanswered questions and fears. Too many false hopes, doubts, and inadequacies. So much false hope and fear spurred on every time I try to speak. So much  self-hate. So much confusion. I don't know how to handle it. I feel that it may have been a mistake, because I can only expect the worst. The worst hurts.