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 Jan 2013 Ashmita
Jordan Farelli
These feelings lay dormant
I see her with another
My rage grows
As their bodies quiver

I sit here in wait
My time to pursue
It is blocked; broken
The hands won't move

The ticking slows
It stops
My heart beats
It erupts

The last breath
I take
I move forward
I awake

Eye to eye
We meet
For an instance
We weep

Then the light
Fades to black
I hold her close
As her breathtaking eyes turn back

...
 Jan 2013 Ashmita
Danielle Rose
If it all should fall apart
I will fall with it
desperately holding onto grace
watch it all displace and collapse
into truth
-wanted above all eles
including love
let the pieces sing symphonies
of shaksperian philosophies
I will bleed and drain
the impurity
and banish the thought of been
embracing the facts
I should have
tis better to lose they say
I say never is a better suitor
A time for farewell, a time for greeting.
The year passes and the new one starts.
Nothing spectacular, just ticking by,
Oh time. We're at the edge of the calendar.
Do slow down for a week, a day, an hour, a moment
As the time for farewell draws closer,
I wish you were closer.

Saturn might have lost it's rings
But I? I have lost my wings when I needed it most.
When I needed it, help abandoned me, people shunned me
I was left alone with nothing but space for company.
It's just beginning to become chilly

The air hardly makes goosebumps rise on anyone's skin
The reason for my goosebumps are different, you see.
I realised today with dread, that it was time.
Time to bid farewell to familiar friendly acquaintances,
Time to greet new, unknown faces of possible enemies.

A truce is over, another needs to be sought out.
A way out, a light to read the fine print by.
A truce just provides bare protection
End of an eventful year and too many things best forgotten.

In a few months, the worst will be upon me
After all, it's a cycle. It brings you high one second,
And the next you go tumbling down. Nothing could be stranger
Or more righteous than this cycle.

The edge of the calendar draws closer.
Saturn will barely be affected, on its way around the Sun.
Us mere Earthlings suffer as our year draws to an end

A time to die, a time to be born.
A time to laugh, a time to cry
Never a time for redemption.
I wrote this like a year back but I thought I might as well post this up.
Happy New Year to everyone. :)
I know you imagine me to be strong
Build me up in this image
Of a person with attitude, guts
Too much anger, too headstrong
Too much of a stereotype,
Too much of a misfit

But I don't ask that you think differently
You see I am sort of used to people walking away
And I had rather you see me as infallible
Than as something to be pitied, as someone vulnerable
To their cheap attacks, to your barbed remarks
I wish that you would- could - understand
That I am something terribly moody
But I can be good. Yes, I am good

I can be better if you'd listen to me
Let me in but don't demand too much from me
I will try to leave everything undisturbed
Heal a scar or two then walk out from your heart
Without having occupied any position of interest
Or importance

I wouldn't mind. I have been relegated to the background
once again
But I am infallible

My scars aren't meant to be pitied
Or sympathized with
I hate that you think you can understand
When you don't
I don't care about what you've been through
Until you've been with me for years
You've seen all that I have to offer
Because believe me
I'd never trust anyone with everything
If they haven't even been around that long

Some might think this is all there is to it
But I can tell you that there are a million things
Left to learn about me
So wait. Calm yourself. Let us be but don't just let me be
Don't rush for me, don't slow down for me
Just let me walk at my own pace but if you see me falter,
Then check if I'm fine. Make it known that you care
Believe me it helps when I'm with a blade.
You don't know how the simple gestures affect me

How they shake the ground beneath my feet
How they make me smile

How my world changes

So please. Just care for me. But don't ask- demand- too much of Me
Don't put me up on some pedestal, don't think of me as fragile
My scars, the ones I will slowly begin to show to you,
Aren't indicators of that.
I am proud of them- intensely proud
I've fought and I've died a million times on the inside
I've cried and I hated myself the most through these years

(I used to tell myself those barbed remarks
Every single criticism, I would sit up and repeat it to myself
So that I never got ahead of myself
Everything they said, how much they didn't like me,
Didn't care for me.
I sat up and repeated all of that to myself
Every. God. ****. Night.
Hoping someone would call just so I'd have an excuse to quit
But no one ever did -was ever up, ever available- at such times

So I'd just continue)

Despite everything, inspite of everything
I stopped. I had the strength- with or without
Anyone
- anyone- being there
Respect- love- me a little bit for it
Hate that I do this to myself
Tearing into myself,
Tearing myself down into such tiny pieces
Making myself into this small entity
Hate it. Detest it. Loathe it.

Tell me that.

But never stop telling me
Don't do that blindly though
Please listen to me as well
Don't blind yourself to how
I am marginally better everyday
Even if there are so manymany setbacks
Be honest with me
I wouldn't care if you talked badly of me then
Because I'd know that you truly loved me then
(yes. yes, i would)

So please. Just give yourself
Just give me  
A chance to be who I am around you
Don't expect it to happen too fast
I swear I'll be there by your side
If you called for me
I'd always look out for you
I would stick up for you
When your lover wouldn't do that either
Don't be afraid of how different
And moody I am
I'll always be there for you
Just call me
And give us time-time-time
 Jan 2013 Ashmita
Sierra Collins
The apocalypse was coming
I could hear it in the wind
You were my own personal hell
Waiting to rip me apart
I knew from the beginning
Why didn’t I run?

You were all lies and lust
But still I held on tight
Addicted to the feeling of
Your anger on my skin
It was better to feel pain
Than to feel nothing at all

There were moons in your eyes
Your touch got me high
The whiskey on your lips
Tasted like a flash of lightning
And you set me on fire
With every lonely kiss

And in the morning, I knew
I’d be bruised and scarred
Permanent reminders of our
Confused, twisted love
They represented your cruelty
And my ignorance

Then with delusional conviction
I would tell myself that even though
You’d ripped me to pieces and
Thrown me to the ground,
I love you in a twisted way
And you love me the same
 Jan 2013 Ashmita
Prabhu Iyer
When did it happen, how did it happen?
What lonely hour did dawn break into the
dark vaults of the firmament high? When did
the storm-cloud tiptoe across the arid sky?
Was it that night of the festival of lights,
when you nudged past the crowds to stand
by my side? That winter when the moon
shone across the desolate snow, to rhythms
of dew dripping from distant tiles? Or
the days after the storms when I discovered
that vulnerable you beneath your chiseled
cloak of practiced calm? How does the spring
bring mourning valleys to flower in the smiles
of a thousand vines? O cherished mystery,
when did this feeling, deeper than sorrow,
unmoved by pain, mightier than weakness,
stronger than the bruises from a hundred lies
that line the course of this chequered life, how
did this arise, anticipant joy of a journey nigh?
Bonds of lives past, is this how ye come alive?
That very first day when hello-eyes smiled?
 Jan 2013 Ashmita
Prabhu Iyer
On this humid summer night,
heartbreak is even more painful:
here you lie scattered
in trinkets and baubles.
Half your name on an airplane tag;
Old diary with
hurriedly noted recipes;
A bangle whose
other in pair is now lost;
The cherished handbag,
hidden away behind clothes;
That first scarf I bought for you.
You lie scattered like this
here, in every shadow and dream:
why, Spirits, this fate for us?
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