My
Smile
And
Laughter
Hides
My
Insecurities

Will you....?
Walk with me
Talk with me
Love me
Guide me
Teach me
Consult me
Council me
Help me
Be there for me....


Even though your physically not here anymore?

Will you?

My heart
My rock
My world
My love
My husband

To give, not take
To love, not hate
To show, not push
To listen, not shush
To care, not ignore
To help, not hurt
To forgive, not punish

Remember, all actions, have another meaning....

Take a moment to think about that...

I’ll wait....

Now, next time you emote one of those actions, think before you do... it may change the outcome in your situation...

I’ll be ok

I’ll be alright

I’ll be ok

I’ll be alright

I’ll be ok

I’ll be alright...

Everything will be ok
Everything will be alright
Don’t worry about tomorrow
Keep today in your sight

Continue to say this to yourself when times are tough
We’re all going through a lot  of stuff...

An image can just be a blurry vision until you look deeper and focus on what the bigger picture may be

Whisper down the alley used to be a fun and harmless game as children
Now, it’s more like whisper down the alley with chutes and ladders in a game a chess...

You think you know
But you have no idea
What’s going on with me
Or what’s inside my head
Be my friend
Empathize with me
If you know me at all
That’s all I want you to be
My friend
Not my enemy
Don’t turn your back on me

Ever feel like your walking the wrong way
Fighting the current to stay afloat
Seem invisible in a crowded room
Talking so loud but not being heard...

We’ve all been there...

Stay calm
Focus on you
You’ll figure it out
When the time is right

Sometimes I
C
A
T
C
H
My tears
To see if
I can hear
What they
F
E
E
L
Too

To scared to step outside
To scared to enjoy life
To scared to explore
To scared to do more
To scared
To scare
To scar
To sca
To sc
To s
To
T
To
To s
To sc
To sca
To scar
To scare
To scared
To scared that shots may fly
To scared of saying goodbye
To scared of everything in life

What is happening to our world
Everything’s turning crazy and absurd
We shouldn’t feel scared to keep exploring our lives
But when we have to keep our eyes opened wide
Keep looking over our shoulder and our loved ones close to our side
It makes it uncomfortable to enjoy life
Only God knows why....
I pray the violence will subside

There is no need to look back because the future is what’s most important.....
....always keep looking forward and magic will sure happen...

Trust in me
Trust in you
Together we will make it through

Troubled times
Rough waters
Life is like a teeter-totter

I’ve got you
You got me
Always together we’ll be happy

Hold my hand
I’ll hold yours
We’ll jump together and soar

Why things happen
They way they do
Here a little insight
I’ll give you a clue
To teach
To heal
To love
To guide
Everything happens
To strengthen you
From the inside

A passing storm
Brings vibrant rainbow
Slowly fading away
Painting the sky
Swirling of colors
Above the sunset
For all to see
Goodnight
To you and me

Love is the glue that holds our hearts together beating as one for all eternity

Three
S
T
A
R
S
In Heaven
Are always shining
B
R
I
G
H
T
And watching over
M
E

A year ago today
We had to say goodbye to you
But every single night since then
We say goodnight to you
As if you are still here
Running around like crazy or stealing my hair ties
To me, it wasn’t really goodbye
I still see you and hear you
I know your still around
Hearing your paw prints( or seeing them from time to time) across the ground
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you
Binx, you were my best friend and I really miss you
I hope your having fun with your brother in heaven and know you still play with your brother with us here
I will never forget you but today I will shed a tear
Can’t believe it’s been a whole year....
Without you....

When your in the “writers zone” and block everything out just to get a good write out of your head and onto paper...

That’s a good zone to be in...

Your brain is the receiver for all the knowledge you learn and know
Your heart is the guider to unscramble the words and make them flow
Your hands are the provider of electricity to make magic on the blank page appear as so
Your life creates the moments and memories for you to continue to grow
Intricate and delicate our lives maybe so
But knowledge is in the eye of the stories and the paths that we follow...

I can’t even imagine if we would have never met one another....



......so I won’t even imagine it...


Because meeting you...
....changed me for good....

Teddy Bear
Teddy Bear
Today we celebrate you
Teddy Bear
Teddy Bear
Happy Birthday to you
Teddy Bear
Teddy Bear
Make a wish come true
Teddy Bear
Teddy Bear
I love you!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Teddy Bear!

There's a time
And a place
For everything
The time
And place
Is now...

Don’t cry for me because I’m gone
Shed a tear when you hear a song
Don’t waste your tears missing me
Live your life as happy as can be
I’m always here just look around
From high in the sky, down to the ground
That butterfly that flies and  hangs around
To the rainbow that appears so profound
Look for happiness, for I am always with you
In the still of the night, listen, I will come to you
Don’t cry for me because I’m gone
Farewell, for now, so long
My friend we’ll see you soon enough again....

Will you be there to catch me when I fall?


It’s ok, I have my emergency wings to help me take flight after all....

A little bird lands on a flimsy branch
Never fearing if it will hold or break
Take a risk, risk it all
Don’t fear for if you fall
You’ll always have your wings
To help you through it all

Today I am picturing myself
With my feet in the sand
The sun beating down
The ocean waves crashing
The sounds of nature
Not a care in the world
Searching for happiness
Enjoying love and life
Only when I close my eyes
Envisioning this was true...
Ocean eyes are crystal blue

I’m melting from this heat
Real feel 107 degrees
I love the heat
Just not when I’m indoors
Oh, I might add I work in a hot kitchen that feels like 120 degrees
Is it time to go home yet?
Tomorrow will be worse
Yay, yippee can’t wait
A nice cold shower will be nice
I’ll have to wait til 10:45 tonight

A picture in my memories popped up today from nine years ago...
A family gathering at our house to incorporate my and my husbands families together as one....
The picture may not seem like much, but to me it speaks in a thousands words since you have left us almost a month ago...
A picture is timeless and can speak volumes..

We all are afraid
We all fear the worst
We all have doubt
We all are scared

Think happy thoughts
Turn negative into positive
Doubt into success
Fear into happiness
Spreading love
Believe
Wish
Dream

Since you’ve been gone
I’ve heard you loud and clear
As the morning breaks dawn
As the night draws near
Keeping me calm and sane
Letting me know your still here

I thought I heard your voice
Heard your contagious laugh
Saw you in a crowded place
Hearing you in a quiet room
“Take direction from me
As if I’m still here
Don’t live in fear
Let fear guide you,taking you center stage
I am always here helping you write the next page”
It’s as if you were standing in front of me
Giving me notes like you used to do
God, do I really miss those days,I really miss you....
Life takes unexpected turns
Leading us down different roads
But our paths will intertwine once again
When our stories in this life will end
Then, we can rewrite our stories when our paths interlock once again....

I wrote this rhyme
To give you some time
To understand the words
That flow out of my mind
Meaningless to some of you
But mean the entire world to me
Open up your eyes and your heart
Maybe then you’ll understand me from the start
I’m strong yet humble
I’m who I’m meant to be
Take it or leave it
This is just me, being me

I walk with a prerecorded laugh track in my head
Somethings are just better left unsaid
Shrug it off
Act like you don’t care
Well In fact I don’t care  
It’s you all that should be scared
I keep a data of the words you say about me
Compile them up, Just wait til you see
I’m not the outcast, it’s actually you
I’m the strong one, I’m just being me
Throwing shade only casts a shadow
The shallow depth of words makes you eat crow
Be a trampoline, let the words bounce right off your back
Continue to listen to that laugh track
Inside your head, don’t let your words go unsaid...

You’ll
Figure
It
Out
Soon
Enough
........
Just
Have
Patience

You gave us direction, cues and music to learn and sing
But your time here on this earth was much bigger then on stage
You taught us all about life through the characters we’ve played
For that we thank you and loved each memory we’ve made

Though your time was cut short and you were taken from us too soon
We’ve learned a lot about you and what you’ve taught us too
Even though we are sad that your final curtain call was made
We thank God everyday
For making our paths connects
Even if it was only short, or a long journey together, we had it made
Even if it was only short, or a long journey together, we had it made
We had it made

Your smile, contagious laugh and the jokes you told
We will never forget them, we will forever hold
Them close to our hearts
Even though we’re now apart
Your legacy will live on forever and always
Because you’ve left a handprint on all of our hearts
Because you left a handprint on all of our hearts

Though your time was cut short and you were taken from us too soon
We’ve learned a lot about you and what you’ve taught us too
Even though we are sad that your final curtain call was made
We thank God everyday
For making our paths connects
Even if it was only short, or a long journey together, we had it made
Even if it was only short, or a long journey together, we had it made
We had it made

Tracking down what you have lost
But not knowing exactly what’s lost
Until you stumble and find you lost yourself
Over all this time that has passed
Finding yourself again, finding you again at last...

Tossing and turning at night
I can’t sleep
What’s on my mind?
Why can’t it shut off?
Were you trying to speak to me?
Just tossing and turning at night
I can’t sleep
Tossing
Turning


Thinking of you...

Let me know
Know when your ready
Ready to begin
Begin a new journey
Journey into the unknown
Unknown of what lies ahead
Ahead is our future
Future to opening doors
Doors that will help
Help lead you to your dreams
Dreams of the imagination
Imagination that keeps you believing
Believing which is not impossible
(Im)possible is possibly just a dream

The last text
Sunday June 16, 2019
I sent you...
“Happy Father’s Day “
You replied...
“Thanks”
8 days later, you took your last breath
I get constantly reminded every day I look at my messages
That your no longer here
But I can’t bear to delete it from my phone...
The last text we ever sent to one another
May not be the best conversation, but it was our last conversation and text ever

That moment in time
When the stars align
Falling into place
Keeping pace
Feeling alive
Loving life
Together
Forever
Always
You
Me

Water Lilies
Raindrops of dew
Dragonflies soaring
Between me and you
Rays of sunshine
Amidst the clouds
Colorful leaves
Falling to the ground

Why do tears come at the most inopportune times....
....oh wait, that’s your loved ones hugging you from above...

I stand and stare at the sky
As the clouds are passing by
A glimmer of light caught my eye
I knew it was you in the still of the night
Sky

Why does the summer breeze feel so cold....
.....because you left us to face this world alone.....