my mind is a black hole of unwanted necessities.
merely a trash pile of heartbroken memories.
a garbage can of 'what-ifs'.
too many corners,
not enough time.
too many songs,
not enough rhyme.
i want to run
i want to climb
i want to expand the endless borders
   of my only mind.
why
can't
it
happen.
why
can't
it
be?
why am i made up of just disheartened memories?
my landscape is soft
my scars are sad
why do i only want all the things that i once had?
beaten-down borders represent
   where i once stood.
i always swore that i would never be anything but good.
i can't say that what you've done to me makes me glad
but dear mind,
   at least now i appreciate what i once had.

it was stupid, really.
nothing more than a glitch in the usual system
     just a little bump.
but then you left and
i
couldn't
breathe.
heart pumping
breath racing
fingers shaking.
unintentional
self-inflicted
suffocation.
i can still feel my ribs against my arms when i
     hugged my stomach
looking somewhere
     a  n  y  w  h  e  r  e
for
air.
let me tell you something
breathing is so incredibly simple
     until it's not.

i don't know if i believe in religion.
i know i believe in god
and i believe in good.

i believe in papers scattered across a writer's desk.
i believe in band-aids covering blisters on a dancer's toes.
i believe in the sweat on an athlete's face.
i believe in the love of a best friend.

i believe in the heartache that comes with breathing.
i believe in the pain that comes with living.
i believe in the scars that come with hurting.
i believe in the color red that comes with not believing.

Scars
They clutter my left arm
Up and down they used to double
triple
Quadruple
they bled
were red
And eventually
scared over.
They did not solve my problems
Just made me stay sane
They made me keep calm
When I wanted to break down
I wanted to yell
I wanted to scream
But all I did was show my feelings
A top my skin
They arnt me anymore
And sometimes I forget that.
I forget that I don't have to push people away
But instead they push me away
Because even though I have changed
my skin remains the same
And that is all they choose to see.

I love fireworks.
They embody the human spirit.
I love them because everyone finds them beautiful.
They're not looked down upon; they're only looked up to.
And though each and every one of them is different, even in the slightest of ways, it doesn't matter.
Their differences don't make them inferior; the make them stand out.
And my favorite part, is this:

Once a firework shoots into the sky, it can't be stopped.
Nothing
Can
Bring
It
Back
Down.
Even though the color fades eventually, that firework has left its mark in the sky forever.
It's eternal.
It never dies.
And even if  you can't see it, **it's still there.

once there was a boy
with zipped up lips and scars on his heart
he met a girl
they never spoke
she saw the slashes on his wrist
but she didn't know how to communicate
what it means to care

"We accept the love we think we deserve..."

Plunging feet first, head last
Immersing myself completely in your atmosphere
Impulsive,bold, and open
With no reservations, no pride
All caution thrown to the wind

A meeting of minds that are attuned perfectly to each other
A melting of kindred souls
The thrill of my falling into your gravity
My lover, my precious.
How do you make me burn for you?

A passionate combustion, a sweet torture
An illicit warmth, an aching pain
There is a longing, a desire so strong it is almost palpable
A longing to be close, to touch and be touched
To find meaning and warmth in another's embrace

You make my heart melt, You set me on fire.
I drink the soul from your mouth,
All your pleasure and pain and everything you feel.
I won't let you go until I have it.
Taking your anger, your rage, your hurt
Turning it into an apology, a pardon, a penance

And when my heart is sated, I take you in my arms,
I hold you close and kiss you and tell you what you mean to me,
Kiss your lips and eyes till you fall asleep,
Knowing tomorrow is another day for us.