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May 2014 · 302
She is Me
Ashley Collins May 2014
A man came into a store that he had   been going to every day for two year
He said Hi and started talking to the girl at the counter :
He said, You know that girl who is always smile
You know the one who's nice to everyone and is so encouraging
The girl at the counter just look at, so he continue,
You know that girl who always have her s**t together
You know the one who dress so nice and has the pretty face
The one who gets along with every body
She is someone I look forward to seeing
Still the girl at the counter just looked at him
He said, The other day I saw her in a daze it looked like tears in her eye but she just smiled so I didn't ask her if anything was wrong
After that the i saw her less and less
He ask the girl at the counter have you seen her and what happen to her
The girl at the counter said: yeah I have seen her
The man said: Well?
Well you know she was always nice to people but they wasn't to her
She was always there for everybody but no one was there for her
You know how she would be encouraging and up lifting
Well people just broke her down took her joy and broke her heart
After that she wasn't the same anymore her smile faded, her face got hard looking and she didn't care what she looked like anymore cause the pain and hurt started to take over
The man said: Wow I didn't know she was always cheerful. You most have been really close to her to know all of this
The girl at the counter said: yeah I was cause SHE IS ME
The happiest person can to the saddest you never know the pain that someone my be carrying
May 2014 · 255
Scared
Ashley Collins May 2014
What are you sacred of?
I'm sacred of being hurt
I'm sacred of being lied to
I'm sacred of the pain those two will bring
I'm sacred that I may put up with to much s**t
I'm sacred that every time you say sorry you don't mean it or care
I'm sacred that I may be losing myself
I'm sacred that one day I'm going to look back and not know who I am
I'm sacred if I trust you like I use to I'm going to get hurt again
I'm sacred you will never know how I really feel
Because I'm sacred of what you may or may not say
I'm sacred that I will always feel this way
I'm sacred of being sacred
May 2014 · 286
They Say
Ashley Collins May 2014
They say don't go looking cause you may find something
They say don't ask questions you don't want the answers to
I go looking cause I already know the answers to the questions I'm asking
They say don't worry it'll get better with time
They say forgive and forget so you can move on
I have forgive and giving it time but it's not getting  better cause I can't forget
They say live love laugh
They say smile it brightest your day
I smile so my life will be bright, I laugh to keep from crying because of the pain love can bring
What do they know
May 2014 · 357
You'll never know
Ashley Collins May 2014
You'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
How I make sure I cry when you leave so you don't see me
How even if you did see you'll still leave
you'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
How I never get a break and sometimes just want it all to end
How no matter what I do it's never more or equal to what you do
You'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
How march 5 I get a little sad and start to think what if
How I'm scared that as the years go by I may forget what happen that day
You'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
How I get this nerves feeling when it's time to talk to you about how I feel
How I don't say anything cause I know its not going to change
You'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
How you can't plan a night with me but jump at a night with the crew
How you can act single and live your life but can't stay awake with me
You'll never know the pain and hurt I feel
Because I'm not going to tell you cause if I did you wouldn't listen  
How I feel so low that I want to leave but don't know how
How I just want to be the apple of your eye your only one
But that may never happen cause something just don't change
Apr 2014 · 305
Change
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
Some things never change
But why would they if you keep letting the same things happen over and over
If you want change you have to be ready for change
Some time you have to hit rock bottom  before your ready
I believe I'm ready
You have the power to change you just have to want it
Apr 2014 · 414
A Fool No More
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
Have you ever had someone look at you but don't see you
Have you ever realize that the person you thought you knew so well you don't know at all
Have you ever had someone tell you they sorry and don't  know what sorry means
You see I was sold a dream a love story that would never be
I realize that the person I thought I knew, I had no idea who they really were
When they looked at me they didn't see me I was just there because I was suppose to be, it looked right
You see I was new to this love thing and didn't know how it work
He told me I was the one he wanted to have kids with spend his whole life with
I was like cool getting on the love train not knowing I was being fooled
It took years for me to see it because I didn't know better
Now my heart, mind, body and soul can't take it anymore and it's time for me to leave
I thought I has different but I wasn't I was one of many I just had a title
I don't need or want that title no more
I will not be the fool anymore
Apr 2014 · 476
Why
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
Why
What is wrong with me
What is it that I am doing wrong
Why do I feel this way
Why do I have so much pain
Am I good enough to have him
Am I who he wants to be with
Some days I feel so useless
Some days I don't feel pretty enough
What am I doing
What can I do
Why can't I make him see what he is doing to me
Why don't I just leave
Apr 2014 · 1.4k
Self love
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
I once loved you the way I loved myself maybe even more
Now after all the tears, lies, and pain i started to love less
Not you but myself
You see I thought it was me who made you do the things you did
Maybe I wasn't good enough, pretty enough and gain to much weight
Than I look in a mirror and I realize yes I gain some weight but I bought life in to this world
Yes I have days when I could do better but even than my better is someone best
And oh yeah I'm no where near a Plain Jane I have beauty that shines for the inside out
Than I think....... I once loved you the way I loved myself maybe even more but now i love myself so much that if it was you or me
I will chose ME
Apr 2014 · 346
Put the phone down
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
You may notice that you have someone who loves you
Someone who's been there for a long time
Fighting for your  
If you put the phone down
You may notice that your losing me
That I'm tried of fighting for your attention
And getting lonely
You would see the sadness and hurt in my eyes
If you just put the phone down
Apr 2014 · 190
Love
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
Sometimes love scares me
When you get that overwhelming feeling that you can't control it's so scary
It makes your heart race and you mind starts to wonder
I like to be in control of my life at all times but when your in love you have no control
When my mind begins to race I think about what if I love him more than he loves me
What if I'm in love and he's in like
What if I'm to far in love that I don't see the wrong that he is doing or I see it but look the other way because I don't want to believe it
How can I get this feeling under control where I won't get to hurt if something goes wrong
How can I love and be in control?
Apr 2014 · 271
Don't blame me
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
Don't blame me
It's not my fault you don't feel good enough
It's not my fault you didn't make it
Don't blame me
That you don't know your worth
That they take and take till you have nothing else to give
Don't blame me
You say it's okay when it's not
You put everyone first and forget about yourself
Don't blame me
Because I showed you the real world
Because no one can see your pain
Don't blame me
I'm just showing you the strength that you can have
I'm the things you once was and wanted to be in the dark
Don't blame me
Because I use to be you
Apr 2014 · 327
Cool with that
Ashley Collins Apr 2014
It's cool if you don't want to talk to me and be around me
I'm cool with that
It's cool if you have better things to do, if you want to do you
I'm cool with that
It's cool if the time I need is not the time you want, if you want to move on
I'm cool with that
So when someone else makes time, talks to me, wants to be with, is all about, and makes moves for and with me
I just want you to be cool with that
Cause I am

— The End —