"I didn't want him to feel bad about this. I wanted him to see the obvious, that it's okay for him to let me go. He's been through so much, and he's finally through it. He needs to not have me around to worry about anymore. He needs me to free him to be brilliant" (Garth 5).

I want to laugh

i want to squeeze my brain like a pimple
until it pops
and my mental illness spurts out
like ****
onto my ceiling

Nothing is left untouched
It all leads me back to the same
Terrible terrible place

"You don't miss me, you just missed the person that loved you so much you didn't have to love them back"

It doesn't come easy
Or without any pain,
A struggle,
Wanting to give up

You have to push through
until the end

They say that when you're running, locking your eyes on a distant object makes it easier to push through until the end.

That far away object holds no real power over you. It can't heal your aching muscles or replenish your lungs of much needed oxygen. It somehow just... makes it easier.

Maybe that object is where you've decided you want to end your run next week; and maybe you've already got your next object picked out. This is good. This is ideal.

Maybe the object is your bottle of water, sitting on the ground at the end of your driveway, and maybe you're only trying this hard because you're driven by thirst. This is not ideal. But creating motivation may be a step in the right direction.

Maybe the object is of no significance and maybe you're only looking because without that object... without something to cling on to... you may not make it to the end. Quitting is not an option. This is the best you're doing given the circumstances. These circumstances are not ideal. But what you're doing is good. You will not stop.

Regardless of the motivation, or lack of motivation
You lock on.
You cling to it.
You Don't. Stop. Running.