When you're alone
And life is making you moan,
I know what you can do.
*******.

When you've got worries,
And your speech get's all slurry
Seems to help, I know,
*******.

Every time you come around you're always causing trouble.
Why can't you be nice and friendly?
More like Betty Rubble.

Vicodin.

You think that it makes you feel good.
But it just ***** your brain up.
You've misunderstood.

So just *******!

Don't be afraid to just *******!
Even Ruben Kincaid says to *******!

It's the best use of your mouth.

*******,
*******



Don't hang around
While scratching your ***** mound,
Unless you're willing to,
*******.

Maybe you know
Some other places to go to
But right now you can,
*******.

Every time you come around you're always causing trouble.
Why can't you be nice and friendly?
More like Betty Rubble.

Vicodin.

You think that it makes you feel good.
But it just ***** your brain up.
You've misunderstood.

So just *******!

Don't be afraid to just *******!
You and your PhD need to SHOW ME!

What you can do with your mouth.

*******,(*******),*******,(*******)

I look at all the boney people.
I look at all the boney people.

Ellanor Twigby
Picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been;
Lives in a dream.
Waits at the window,
Wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.
Who is it for?
All the boney people, where do they all come from?
All the boney people, where do they all belong?

Jenny McCraigsie
Writing the words of a sermon that thick ones will fear;
Don't have a beer!.
Look at her schlocking,
Selling snake oil to lonely dysmorphic out there.
What does she care?
All the boney people, where do they all come from?
All the boney people, where do they all belong?

I look at all the boney people.
I look at all the boney people.

Ellanor Twigby
Died in the church and was buried alone with her name.
Nobody came.
Jenny McCraigsie
Counting her cash with her hands as she walks from her grave.
One less drone slave.
All the boney people, where do they all come from?
All the boney people, where do they all belong?

Shame upon those,
who gaze down their nose,
while opining sans one single fact.
Like the Church way back when,
who assumed it and then,
made it law that the Earth shall be flat.

Sung to the tune of The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python. Back-up Mounties optional.


I never wanted to be Sandra Dee!

I... I wanted to be...

A LESBIAN!
(piano vamp)

Leaping from bush to bush! As they float down the mighty rivers of
Finger and Thumbia!

With my best girl by my side!

The Blond!
The Brunette!
The Giant Snookie!
The Natural Red!
The Little Spinning Skinnamarink!

We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lesbian, and I'm okay,
I like to broadcast that I'm gay.

Chorus: She's a lesbian, and she's okay,
She likes to broadcast that she's gay.

I see straight girls, they're not like me,
But I think that can change.

If they'd just let me kiss them.
Their lives I'd re-arrange.

Mounties: She sees straight girls, they're not like her,
But she thinks that can change.
If they'd just let her kiss them.
Their lives she'd re-arrange.

Chorus: She's a lesbian, and she's okay,
She likes to broadcast that she's gay.


I cut down guys, I wish and hope,
That others would join in.
I wish straight women would think,
that *** with men was sin.

Mounties: She cuts down guys, she wishes and hopes,
That others would join in.
She wishes straight women would think,
that *** with men was sin.
Chorus: She's a lesbian, and she's okay,
She likes to broadcast that she's gay.


Oh I'm a lesbian and I'm OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK K!

You say yes, I say no.
You drop top,
then I say go go go, oh no.
You say get high and I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello.

I say why, you say know.
You say why and I say I don't know, oh no.
You say get high and I say jello
(jello get high jello get high) jello jello
(jello get high) I don't know why you say get high, I say jello
(jello get high jello get high) jello jello
(jello get high) I don't know why you say get high
(jello get high) I say get high.

Why why why why why why do you say get high get high, oh no?

You say get high and I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello.

You say yes (I say "yes") I say no (but I may mean no.)
You say stop (I can stay) and I say go go go (till it's time to go oh), oh no.
You say get high and I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say get high
jello jello
I don't know why you say get high, I say jello jello.

If wishes were fishes
and fishes were dreams.
Then when you go swimming
are you who you seem?
Or do you become who you think you should be?
(If suddenly you found a home in the sea.)
And if you could do this then who would you be?
A fish who was dreaming of life water free?
Or are you content,
where ever you be?

On land or in sea,
are you always "me"?

Ohhh,Im picking out a GUlaaaag for youuuuu.
Not an ordinary GUlaaaaag,
that's truuuue.
But a gulag filled with all the things,
That you fear the most.
So learn Spanish or have no food.
That's how I'm pick-ing out a GUlaaaaag,
For you.