Relax and breathe
inhale the scent of a flower
a calming feeling
reducing stress in my head
but only for a few minutes

A little bit at a time
a little bit to let go
and a little bit to hold onto

A curved piece of glass
on a cup
that you hold in your hand
warm and bittersweet
it calms
it soothes

The process repeats and it becomes
an endless cycle
Another afternoon and it's time for tea
grab the same bag and throw it in
ignore all their words
and the way that they hurt you

If I told you a lie
would you believe me?
Sincerely, I think that I wouldn't lie to hurt you
that was never my intention
and it hurts knowing
that I could hurt someone as you

I wanted to tell you
I did
but I couldn't make up the words to say it
I couldn't express myself truthfully
and you ended up thinking that I hated you
when that wasn't even close to it

All my life I've been told to do my best
and as the years go by
I  have failed to impress
it seems that I've become the one that they praise
and yet I'm failing algebra
and I am scared that they're going to put me down

I feel like I am falling into another hole
another hole that is empty
and filled with a lot of fears of mine
Maybe I have created this mess
this mess that I've been stuck in
for the longest time

I want everything to go away
I want to feel nothing at all
but I can't do that
I won't do that
because I am scared
I am scared of everything
even life and death

and it's nobody's fault
it's all my fault
it's all my fault
all my fault

I want to
break your bones
snap - snap - snap
hearing you cry
just like I have

Your guts spilling on the floor
in a pool of blood
my heart doesn't beat
and I don't dare speak
I hate you and I won't say it

You were dead
when you first laid your hands on me
I'm shaking while I break
sinking down in the bed
Awaiting my prolonged death

All that I want to say
it doesn't make sense
does it?
Nothing reflects and it doesn't show correctly
but it doesn't matter I guess
nobody ever makes sense
and nobody ever listens
hardly anyone at all
The yelling and the screaming
it doesn't hurt
I am used to it
I wanted to
I wanted to
I wanted to scream
I wanted to tell you that I was hurting
but I couldn't
I had to fight with everything in me
just to bite my tongue
and to hold back all the tears
I wanted to say goodbye
and do it without saying it
but I couldn't
and I tried running
alas, I couldn't leave you behind
and I wanted to die
on that day
the day that everything had changed
it all became nothing
meaningless words
meaningless memories
of a family that used to be
but now can never be
not how it used to be
and it all never makes sense
it all just dies like yesterday
but it lives on like an insult that never leaves your brain
and that's the saddest part of it
the fact that pain stays
and happiness fades

When I look in the mirror
all I see is a lie...
A lie that has become a void of blackness
corruption..
It's the worst feeling
to hate the someone that is called "you"
It hurts your head
as the static becomes even more clear to you
The worst part is that nobody knows
and nobody seems to care

Turning pages of unfinished pages
feelings of regret, sadness, numbness
all clashing together in blurs of colors and shapes
Whatever the problem is
it doesn't seem like it ever stops
Guts are spilling
From all the pressure
and the fear that surrounds the air
Crushing, unfolding into messes of my disfigured corpse
Eventually, I will become nothing more

The pain
the pain

the pain of it all it seems too much
but that's all I'll ever be exposed to
Everything just amounts to nothing
this feeling of being unsure
of whatever happiness could be anymore
Maybe I want to cry too
Maybe I want to be selfish for once
_________
"One hit for you and one hit for me"
_________
Continue?
>Yes or No
>y
__________

We're hiding our faces and crying
Behind all the debris from the destruction of our actions
that all amounted to empty words
Wanting to continue on
it's just the way it will work for us in the end
Not able to let go of you
and you not being able to let go of me

"Don't leave"
it all looks like a simple, pitiful cry for help
Doesn't it?
Even if it keeps on falling apart
I will, I will
always keep on loving you.

I was only holding onto fragments and shards of glass
Broken things that are beyond repair
Beyond what I am able to fix
You were drowning and gasping for air
You reached out to me
so I held on and got you out of there

I remember when I responded that "I love you"
and I thought I didn't know it
but it all just came out too fast
but I got rid of that thought
because I knew what I was doing

Did you know, my heart hurts so much
every single part of me that wants to love you
but all the pieces they didn't fit together
so I got a lot of self doubt about it
and I only caused you problems

Whatever the case was
whatever the problem was
I know I don't self doubt anymore
I can't get rid of my known feelings
and I know I'm just spilling out a bunch of nonsense
it never stays clear does it?
Saying something like that
and turning it all around
it's making everything
out of focus....
_____________
UNKNOWN ERROR
>A r e y  ou sur  e  you wa n t  to  q u it  ?
>YeS _ nO
> -/ -/ -/ -/ -/ -/
>DELETING PROGRESS / 100%
> Sh u  tt  in g d  ow   n  ERROR 21XXOEF7328H
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