Seven
Nine
Twenty-three point zero five
Cotangent of angle a

What can I find?
Why do I look?
It's a secret that I mistook
for a solution
Variables that make me
*****
Integers that
Irritate
Numbers give me the heebie-jeebies
Resolute in their
Absolutes
No quarter
Just one over four

Sometimes I'd like to say the word ****
Scream it
And yell it
On a mountain
In my mother's face
At my burnt toast
Composure is stifling
Trifles, mostly
Sometimes I'd like to write the word ****
In an essay
On a desk
Thirty times or so
****
**** poetry
I'll just write ****
**** **** **** ****
**** feels good

My heart is warming and filling with love
But my mind is emptying
My world becomes black as if in a vast cave
All alone as I walk through this vast dark cave
Only this isn't a vast cave
This is my life
I live it everyday
I breath it in everyday
I wait on it to pass everyday
but there is no true ending to life
Until you are gone..

Give it all you got
Only option left to choose
Tip your cap
Turn your back
Throw up that deuce
But, who woulda knew
That clarity of concentration
Comes from unexpected deviations
From our anticipations
Suddenly
Shipwrecked
Lost at sea
Starin at that deep blue green
Like, it's just you,
And me
And we are the masters behind these sails
When our stories told
It'll be the stuff of fairy tales
The true master misses miserably alot
What matters most is
We take all our shots
So this is my position
Listen up
I don't give a ****
About you *****
Who don't give a ****
You on the sidelines of the game
What's it gonna take for you to lace em
And step it up?
I see you suckers pacin'
Over self-made situations
Like destiny isn't something we participate in
But what if we switch stations
Movin' makin'
Anxious Amplification
Got that body breakin'
Beats to shuffle strutin' feet and
Our music's the motivation
Our life, our part
Art over every evocation
Trumpets triumphantly proclaim the pontification
Sifting, shifting the breeze
The time, they are a' changin'
The rhythms's exquisite equations
Derivative of internal escavated wisdoms
Whimsical inquisitive exploration

Noble stranger
Assemble these words
For the occasion
Building worlds
With my persuasion
Let's save them all
With mirth and missiles
And embrace the fall
Deuces wild, a duality
Every smile's a commodity

Turn left
Turn right
The coast is blank
My thoughts grow rank
Forgive me for this suicidal explosion
Yet I don't regret
The commotion
Seen in faces brightened by
Cloudless skies

Or in eyes
Blinded by mushroom clouds
That burned away our doubt
No clout
A gasmask and a nuclear sword
But it's not a word
Or a bullet
It's the action that kills

And the smoke that fills
Our lungs
Bulging through the spaces
Between our rib rungs:
The stepping stones to
Hearts waiting to be
Healed.

From dried blood
Long congealed
Picked off
Like the scabs that sealed
Summers wounds
Gathered together
And reaped from harvest boons

Glimmering
Underneath the convalescent moons
Struggling
With the twisted fate
They've to endure...
But the crowd stands
Demure.

If we were on a voyage to find the Americas, when I believe its west
But you believe its east
We will get lost at sea together, going east
If I was blind and my body has only memorized the size of your hand and the edges of your knuckles
I will follow you to whatever death trap you are leading me to
When I'm covered in dirt and sweat, when my hair is not shiny and and my skin is not glowing
And you say " You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen,"
I will throw out all my make up
When I ask you if you want to go to dinner
And you say you have to work late but really, you're locking lips with your coworker
I'll say okay,
When we are in two different cities,
When my morning is your arm around a one night stand
I will call you and say "Good night" and fold your clothes
I will never know
People search years for the whole truth
People die wanting to know
When I find a girl's phone number tucked into the pockets of your jeans
I will ask you only one thing,
"Do you love me."

over, like our childhood
on the swing set of before
if I could choose a moment back
I don't know if I'd pick my finger tips reaching for the clouds or

when you turned your smooth spine over
and you opened your eyes
and told me you want every 2:15 AM to be like this night
just over
and
over

our bodies were like shoe strings
tied and knotted
not fitted
but held
and I'm scared I'll never find someone who can love me the way you did

like the way my oversized hands feel on the rust of a swing set now
nothing has changed except everything

when you held me that night
I reached my hands out to your back
my finger tips ran through your spine
and i wonder if this is what clouds feel like
or forever
or getting something back
when you thought it was over

the heart aches
like
earthquakes.

today
i allowed myself to feel
heartbreak
one very last time for you.

the sun was settling,
silhouetting the city

it felt like
the burial site of massacred dreams.