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Aggressively self-conscious
His excited fingers stumble along the outline of her body,
Bemused in the smoke.
His mind flies as his nerves sing.
Beautiful, behind the smoke;
She’s used to better.
Losing her patience,
Kissing his warm neck with a mouthful of smoke,
A limp wrist and bored finger.
It stings her eyes;
Smoke, suspended and still in the room,
Becoming part of the air.
His smile, awkward and pale;
Sick with her sense of failure.
Dazed by the smoke
She grabs her skirt, tucks in her blouse;
Watching him watch her through the screen of smoke
From his naked mattress.
Her shape is a ghost behind its shield,
He was touching her only moments ago.
She is gone. The door locks.
Sunrise paints his time lost.
In the room, smoke tells of past events.
She is busy living; he won’t call.
This, between him and the smoke, suspended and still in the room,
Smoke that has become part of the air.
Little boy just 10 years old riding his bike down along the street
He couldn’t have known that today was his last day out in the summer heat
As he peddled along and began to round the bend
He couldn’t have known that his life was just about to end

Young man just 17 driving down the road in his new car
On his way home from a friends that day and the drive wasn’t far
Yet he had the dangerous taste of alcohol on his brain
And the road was still wet from last night’s rain

The boy and man locked eyes for only just a moment
The fateful moment came and was met with the devils consent
The car went full force into the bike
The aftermath was a sight that no living soul would like

Young man just 17 riding in the car to a jail
He couldn’t have known that today his future would set sail
The little boy had died and his father just sat and wept
That night the man never slept

Young woman just 17 that sat opposite the man in a cell of her own
Bruises and cuts covered her body and scars had been sewn
She was just as broken as the man had felt
But for her justice would never be dealt

Her own family had betrayed her love and trust
She sat there torn and hurt with a heart starting to rust
No hope in sight and no one to comfort her
Her cries and tears and made the man’s face begin to slur

The man asked the woman about her life and what was she in for
The woman replied in a voice so sad and she didn’t want any more
She didn’t want to feel life’s cruel sting
She looked at her hand and threw away her mother’s ring

The man looked over and picked it up with just a smile
He looked at her and stared for just a while
Only one thing came to his mind in that short time
No one knew why that day but he said to her will you be mine

The woman so confused and sad looked up and just cried
The man sat there with her by her side
From that day on they were never apart
Eventually those lives would be put back on start

Little boy just 10 years old smiled down to earth
Known that his life was spent making someone else gain worth
He forgave that man for his mistake that day
He had forever ahead of him and no one was standing in his way
19
***
Slurpees
Good music
Stunted moral judgment
Good friends, good times, good fun
Lately I've been thinking I'm invincible
and wondering if I'll spoil our romance by trying to make it last forever,
as most women do, they say,
but we both know I've never listened to 'them'.
I have this teacher that's been crying and yanking out dandelions in her yard
because what else is she supposed to do
but she tells me I'm a little more likely to develop a psychological disorder.
I think we're all psychos, really,
all depressed and anxious, at least,
and sometimes my ceiling never stops spinning,
but I think I'll be alright.
weren't
Finally after a long winter
And the wavering weather
The weary wait is over
Walking through green grass
Moisture tickles the tips of my toes
As I take a deep breathe of air
Through the nostrils of my nose
A bird is perched upon a light pole
But its chirps seem rather frightful
They don’t sound very delightful
In the middle of conversation
I stop, I stutter, and I stammer
I’m enamored by that image
Spring is here and finally sprung
But the bird’s happiness is hung
Its like I could relate to the bird
I have been waiting patiently
For an answer important to me
While this bright and beautiful bird
Has been up there perched and enduring
Of this hypocritical weather
Waiting for a summer that wont come
As have I been long enduring
During this silent conversation
One day I feel its going one way
The next its going another
These feeling are becoming mundane
As I also wait for something
Something that probably wont come.
I've tried so hard to escape reality
Music, running, sleeping
I fear the tears and anger night brings to me
I can't breathe, I can't turn it off
I'm trapped, I'm yelling, but no one is listening
I'm drowning, I'm alone, no one is there
It's pulling me deeper and deeper
I try to swim to the surface, but its got
ahold of me. Won't let go.
Fingerprints last a long time
As do hair particles
And skin particles
They all last as long as some
Memories do
So really
It's like you never left me
Your microscopic self can
be reached
through the part
Of my brain
Where those memories reside
You can be seen under a lens
Deep in the ridges
of my skin
It takes time,
I tell myself.
Believe and wait,
And someday you'll gain
                                                                 Popularity.
The first day,
At a new school.
She comes and invites you,
What you've wanted is what she
                                                                 Has.
Sorority sounds cool,
But not what I'd expected.
Flash waves and strip poker,
The word boys tell you all about
                                                                 It.
Sometimes,
Things are different.
Never to be what we see,
There is nothing that is without a
                                                                 Price.
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