It seems my demons find me,
When I am all alone.
And they fill the room around me,
Hurting me to the bone.

They know every lie I tell,
And know that morphine is my disease,
So they leave me with a needle,
A tickle and a tease.

For some odd reason,
I could never be too sure.
They leave me nothing to fill it,
But always leave me wanting more.

And somehow I find a way,
To fill my veins with blue.
When all I'm doing always,
Is filling the holes left from you.

And gold keeps paying for my habit,
But stops me from living a dream.
Keeps me just so lucid,
To destroy another beam.

And with each I crack into,
Takes me down from my support.
Until there is nothing left,
No, nothing but rapport.

So I tie off just one more time,
And pick up my larger rig.
As the needle pierces skin,
My own ****** grave, I dig.

I'm so alone now in this shelter as a cocoon
Empty and unholy
Insecure and maybe moody
I'm so unafraid now I've turned my guilt into a blaze
As I rage against the enemies I create
Its the path of freedom in this miserable escape towards happiness

I wasn't particular about the things that I expected from you
Just obvious with the what and when and where and how but never with the why
I knew the secret rules of boundaries and respect
Silence is a way to watch it all or twist it all, or hide it all
Silence was the one time you fell apart when all the other times you weren't too far from Hercules
I am angry with you, patient with you
I can't lose sleep over it
I'll just cry in terror
You can just sit there careless
I guess its times like these when you realize the things you want
And the things you don't

I'm unhappy
At this  very instant
But even most days I can muscle up the energy
I can focus on whats right and whats now and what can be
You can sit there drown in your solitude
because if you can't let it out and you won't let me in
Eventually the guilt from your kisses will be swallowed in acid
And the reaction of which will eat you alive

Velveteen and closed with slim metal clasps
Laying on the seat next to the edge of a dress.

Let me slip my hand inside to find
Nothing but a $100 bill that isn't mine.

The car comes to a lurching stop
I pay the cabbie and get out to walk.

A few coins and an aching heart
Linger with the clasp's top apart.

My silken dress swirls around my knees
At the bottom of the stairs of apartment three.

One single step leads right to the next
Velveteen catching my ragged breath.

The metal clasps held firmly closed
As I knock on the door to fill the hole.

Stolen bills and velveteen held close
And the door unbolts…

But metal clasps remain closed.

little droplets
falling down
splashing at my feet

seconds count
a backwards march
never mine to keep

fascination
tries my patience
as my heart does weep

from little holes
punched in me
like a morbid need

colors flow
across my skin
permanence is real

because i am lost
please help me so
between the lines you read

i cry to you
my helpless voice
silent against the screams

society sews
my tender lips
aching for the speech

the one that slides
from my arms and back
like a paint bottle leak

pretty to those
ignorant
of the addicting plea

No need to pray,
No need to speak.
No need for thoughts,
In the Ocean deep.

Just breathe in, breathe in,
Your consciousness is waning.
Your confidence is praying,
Your confidant prepared to stay.

Your heart is throbbing,
Your breath is wavering.
No need to pray,
The Ocean is taking you over,
Again.

Another wave upon my shores,
No more need for open doors.
Take a step into the shallows.
Prepare to leap from high atop,
The gallows.

Another step brings you closer to,
The Ocean edge is dropping still.
Another sip is all it takes,
To fall into Hell's open gates.

And fires beat upon the shores,
The Oceans waves are no more.
But still these waves beat me down,
Into the fires below the ground.

And we are the lost generation,
The end of time is all we wait on.
And still we think we are good.
You fool, you fool, you're breathing still.

On and on passes time,
Leaving us swiftly behind.
And still we wait for our last chance,
To close the doors on our romance.

To my bed I pull you slowly,
To the gallows waiting behind me.
Lay your head upon my pillow,
As the noose tightens, I close the window.
I watch you drop from up on high,
To the Ocean's depths we rise.
And we are drowning, though we stand,
I welcome you with open hands.

You'll sit with me upon the bedside,
Waiting til we all die.
Though poison tastes like honey and wine,
The antidote is hard to find.

And so we are the forgotten youth,
Laid to waste by father's troops.
And though their bullets make us bleed,
We trudge on through the widow's weave.

Through mud and blood we find our place,
Lost in our ***** tastes.
I thought that maybe we could find,
Peace hidden deep inside.

But still the monks say we must wait,
Lost inside this burning place.
And Father stands upon the shore,
Hoping we shall open the door.

Though Heaven's full,
We'll make our place,
Lost into this burning face,
And still I find you hurting still,
My heart and soul have had their fill.

So take up my razor,
And skin my flesh.
Leave no more, no nothing left.
Peel my skin, my flesh, my bone.
And leave me a rotting soul.

For Father stands upon these gates,
Hell burning across his face.
And the Ocean will take none unto,
The depths will have us rotting soon.

So float back down,
And swim inside.
I know you know,
I've got much to hide.

But with my flesh, my bone and sinew,
Know that I have forgotten you.
And hope that one day you'll find,
A casket burning with me inside.