the lone wolf cries
welps, squeals, yells
hoping for the magpie
to carry her song

spread it around
someone has to hear
the sad sad sound
of a lone wolf shot down

temporarily inept
my heart leaves
my chest

dust on the floor
I cant feel it
no more

empty am i
synonym for lack
my wings are broken
i can no longer fly

shot mid air
i made a decision
to fall
this is unfair

A tight knit room
all the fog, all the gloom
gasses start to swirl and dance
putting all that witness,
in a trance

vision fogs, body tingles
in a room, no one mingles
the world is fading at last
its all spinning and moving
way too fast

Here I come,
here I come,
to the land of the free
and the numb.

Skunk in the night air
red cheeks, messed up hair

Beads of water through my pores
whats mine is now yours

Feel the torque of the engine
twisting hot metal, revving

And your heart beats
like a metronome

It puts me to sleep

Driving in the midnight
close to the light

Can't stop speeding
my life is fleeting

Before my eyes
Before I die

Kiss me goodbye
please don't cry

This is it
This is the end

bleed out
the crimson that stains
won't wash out
can't complain

leave me here
on fake tile
still convulsing
for a while

pain, pain
is going to stay
until you--
make it go away

I can't help me
neither can  you
oh here it comes,
here comes the blues

it sticks, it stains
red and true
brown and purple
green and blue

hold me tight
intertwine my veins
keep the pressure
so my heart stays

home is where
your heart is
mine is not
where it fits

confused,
on what was so true
just me and you
now I haven't got a clue

I am lost
when I'm
with
you

I feel cheated,
walking through-
this sticky heat
where are you?
how you could say
you're still there
I won't see you
any other day
stop saying that
you don't mean it
I feel cheated.

Skin deep
the wound--
you cannot see.
I make my own music
melody of life,
an insatiable rhythm
only for me.
*******,
I am okay--
sleeping
my days away.
The sun burns,
blinds my eyes
there's nothing left
to cry.
I'm a wild thing,
you cannot tame me--
bad ******* do it
I swear I can prove it.
Back away,
I bite, I claw
I cry--
out for more,
to feel and to burn,
my heart has been stolen
and will forever be yours.

candles glowing in my room
cheap liquor, smell of perfume
forget-me-nots one of a kind
this is a dream, I'm losing my mind

everything is just an opinion
its all blood stained freedom
people think they know
in reality, everything is faux

I do bad things
just like you
I wish people knew
or had a clue

what the **** I am going through

Water my veins,
keep it flowing fresh--
help put me to rest.
Refresh my memory,
make sparks fly--
so I stay alive.

Your lips burn
Kisses ****
All of these
Give me a thrill

I watch fly
every house,
on every street
by and by.
will be ours
paved tile,
lazy swings,
wild flowers.
a little roof
up and up
down to every
little glass cup.
mixed mugs,
a bedroom for two
walls painted
green, purple, blue.
this is true
any place
your face
my home is you.

Cyclical

why must this be
always with me

Midnight rain
starts again
flashes strike
thunder remains

to shake my bones awake

Midnight rain
turns to day
sparkling clear
droplets here

to keep my brain there

Midnight rain
starts again
lights flash
bedazzled night

come to take us to light

I know in my head
our most terrible fate
you will be filled with hate
and a broken bond
will never mend
ever again

I really ****** it up this time
there's nothing much
I can really say
except that I'm truly sorry
and I wish for you to stay

healthy and sane
nothing to gain

playful and fun
but actually shunned

what to do
what to do
when you don't have a clue

                         ~
the light at the end of the tunnel
is far away past the struggle

and I don't know if I have enough left
to take the journey and make it to the end

keep my bleeding heart wide open
warm tears beat on this cold bed
your soft sunrise hair smells like summer

keep me alive in this cold room
warm and bundled safe from the gloom
your soft rose lips taste like winter

keep me aching to say I love you
warm and content in my pasture
your soft glow feels like spring

blue sky clouds fog
it wont ever clear
I thought You were mine
things are so clear
-    -    -    -    -    -    -
The Future?

"I dont know"
.
"I really don't"
..
"I can't say"
...
"I'm scared"
....
The gap grows
                                  and grows
                                                           ­   and grows.....
less of love
less of feeling
less of believing
......
more of lies
more of doubt
more of lonely nights
.......
loss of ties
loss of belief
loss of saying
........
"you're mine"
.........
fog clouds sky blue
things are so clear
You thought I was yours too
nothing will ever clear
-    -    -    -    -    -    -

oh I want to
oh yes that buzz
that insatiable hunger
to be something other
than myself

to be numb--
tingly,
odd,
funny,
dumb,
and lost.

I want to be lost.

I want to be found.

But which is it?

I guess you'll have to find out.

Ring imprints are where your heart lies too
So so far away, both feeling very blue
Constant reminders of why I am here
No wonder I can't even shed a single tear

This morning I watched the sun rise
And I couldn't help but think of you--
While it lingered low in the sky--
You were all that was on my mind.

as it barreled toward us
in brilliant white elegance
I yelled but felt nothing--
I couldn't help but think

I am okay with dying

Today I stared at you longingly,
our eyes met and yet --
I couldn't look away.

My saddened eyes conveyed,
what words could not say.

I wanted to memorize your face,
in case--
I wouldn't see you the next day.

I will keep up the fight
with all my might
to make you stay
even if I have to--
put on a one-man-play

I will act my greatest scenes
just to cover up the secret,
--the scandalous secret--
that makes me feel complete

they can put two and two together
but I will avoid their questions
stepping around the cracks--
simply as light as a feather

to sneak, and sneak, and sneak
is what I do best,
and cover up the rest
right now I am at my peak
and I feel so weak

if they take you away
my sanity will not stay
and I will have to
live out the rest of my days
putting on a one-man-play

I surrendered to the demon
that resides in my broken heart
even though I thought
my struggle was over

Repeatedly I say
“I am okay, I am okay”
I know there is no worry
No sorrow, nor pain
or quite anything to gain

there is no luck
or fear, nor strife
things are rigid and bland

boring and ordinary
but that makes life
extraordinary

the little, the meager
the things that
leave you eager

simple, and strange
even the deranged
makes me crack a grin

looking at the future
working mysteriously
and leaving curiously

become an empty shell
and let everything
collapse and meld

forget things
move forward
dont hesitate
on the awkward

forgive and solve issues
clean bad blood
and keep things pure
and mature

dont linger
on the past
lets things fly fast

confusion is your
best friend
keep it close
and be a good host

stay empty
cause then you
are nothing
no one to bother
or smother

I want everyone to know that life isn't what it seems
Take pleasure in the little things
Keep the your spark alive day by day
And soon the world will take your breath away

The petals dance above me
Each swirling in its unique way
Everyone is a petal
Individual but the same
Each swirling on the same path
But each headed to a destiny
only they can fulfill

Some are lost, gone or destroyed
And the dance slows
Becomes less of magical
And soon none are left
No individuals
Just all the same
Petals falling off a tree

Our bodies share the same rhythm
Exploding with warmth and happiness
And the same soft whispering beat
I wish I could live in this moment for a life time
No words spoken and nothing acknowledged
Forever in sync next to you
Just knowing we are content
With each other
At this one moment in our lives
I wish it to be true; that you would agree
To be by me through this time in my life
I need someone like you, to guide me through
You make me feel content and believe in the future
I can confess my inner secrets and beliefs without any worry
You stay by my side; no matter the consequence
I can trust you, unlike other people
Listening is what you do best
And that shines brighter than any action
We are perfectly harmonized
Inside and out we fit together
I hope someday you will realize
I love you just as much as you love me

All I can think about,
are those words you left downtown--
on the paved walkway where we frolicked.

I want to return there,
so those few words can be found--
I want to hear them roll off your tongue.

Slowly my brain will churn and think of a response,
a response that may be easy, or it may not--
and you thought I would have forgotten.

No way,
and someday--
we will go retrieve them.

"Life's too short to even care at all"
I sing over and over in this empty space
No I don't care, I don't care at all
Everything is finally in its place
I overlook the evil,
The twisted, the bad, the hurtful--
And see the brightness in all.

All of us have fallen once in our lives
And all of us have had our time to thrive
The flaws we see, are only in our eyes
And to others we are just as beautiful
As the of stars are in the night sky.

we danced and kissed in the rain
and suddenly everything was okay

in that moment time was paused

I will be waiting for the day
that we can forget the world
and press play--
in order to dance again
to that lazy, beautiful sway

scruffy plaid flannels
pink ring imprints
flakes of snow flurry
naked trees against the skyline

watching the sunrise
5 o' clock in the morning
worried looks, slight smiles
these things that are mine

I can feel you in my bones
the depths of my skin
the tips of my toes

nothing is visible
its all underlying
but still physical

this isn't just my head
its a craving, an ache
that needs to be fed

as the fuel starts to diminish
it eats away at my mind
until it's replenished

I know you think I'm crazy
almost everyone does
but that doesn't even phase me

I'm finally happy
and actually content
with you beside me

when I say "*******"
I mean it
because I've finally stopped

*searching

Falling apart into pieces
is what I do best,
but I keep enough of myself--
to hold others together.
My love never dies,
I never leave,
and I seem to care--
way too much.
I stay alive for others,
never myself,
because I am useless--
while plenty still have a chance.
to become beautiful
If I am the guide,
so be it--
I will direct and influence,
until they become--
the truest forms of themselves.
Because I want to be able to say
"I was a part of their life"
and if I die knowing that,
I know that my lives work--
will have been completed.

There are only a few things that make me feel alive
The pang of hunger
The feel of summer
And your fingers intertwined with mine

A breath of fresh air
The sweet nectar in the breeze
Birds singing in the morning dawn
Warm pavement on slippery feet

The dew in the grass,
The leaves on the tress,
The wind through my hair
And the sound of the bees

Your eyes locked with mine
Quiet noise and long stares
Staying up all night,
Not giving a care

The sound of the moon
The tide coming to shore
The crickets in the thickets
My heart is no more

I can't say
what comes to mind
when your eyes--
are locked with mine

I can feel my tongue roll
those few simple vowels
but my vocal cords
can't utter a single syllable

I start my sentences
but never end them
because I shun myself
into submission

I want to but I can't
so I will forever sit here
like there is nothing to be said
and my heart will be melting--

to just spit out those simple sounds