I have fought fear
like a crippling boxer
sweat dripping from my nose
and the physical rumble of my knees giving out
so tired
of the continuous swings and punches
without leading to defeat
now
blood is pouring down my teeth
and my fists are bruised
what is the answer
to my crippling fear
I'm on the ground
at its mercy
is it simply

you cannot let fear get to you?

I took a walk down memory lane
smoking from cans
and hanging with friends so bland
makes you curious of your path
Now I smoke from bongs
and cherish the souls of friends
Every path is different
who is to say what's right?
sympathy and empathy aside
who can truly relate to you?
Your mind is your armor
Your mind is your sheild
Use it to know, use it to feel
Soon there will be no one like us
eyes with hope of revolution
bodies pacing toward the goal
I'm with you
There is no reason to be afraid

My toes
shake
at the sound
of your
name

a.s.

can we just pretend
that cancer season is over
and we are all careless
because the laughter
of friends
is so rewarding
compared to the
somber melodies
I hum at night

can we just pretend
that all we need is
each other
to pass these dark days
and carry the
drunk
I don't give a ****
attitude
like at the peak of caughlin ranch
last night

I'm not a good liar
nor good at pretending
but how do we see
we have beauty like the sea
and the smell of flowers in spring
yet fail to realize
all of these things
to the inner
real
self critic

why

a.s.

In times of contemplation
I find myself gazing up
to create some hidden meaning in the stars
or down
to search for truth within works
but it's all the same

Sadness weaves meaning into most
of the things experienced
like an ancient sacred saying
that still applies today

That is
sadness is sacred
and in and of itself shows truth
emotions are the root
of all good work  
and lessons learned
suffering is the love we shall bear
the whirlpool of never-ending sorrow
and we may not give it up

if we expect to love the goal

Black Laces
and empty hearts,
drop
and stop
to realize your potential
I love you
Don't be afraid

a.s.

In the brisk of November
with a steady heartbeat
I saw you holding me,
your hands
so cool
so firm.

I sometimes draw
within the shapes your hand makes
I wonder what that would look like now?
Colorful scrambles of
a heart-felt love
inspired by moonlight and smiles,
Not only to realize
your touch grants me comfort
and stability.
my creativity preserved
by the continuous lines and shapes
unseen on your skin.
They say love wont last forever,  

But that will.

a.s.