I want you to write me,
some want to be painted
pretty colors, slow strokes of brush to paper

but I don't want that

I want bold words to describe me
imagery so vivid
you can see me, even when I'm not there

I want sentences so strong,
no one would dare confuse me
for something I'm not

I want you to write me
because then maybe
you'll finally understand me

I want to hold your hand
as I did when the panic settled in
Your touch was enough
to make me feel like everything was going to be okay

I want to turn my head and see your face
that smile on you- I could never erase
no matter- whatever I did

You have always been my angel
just now, you are my angel in the sky

I miss you

In the dark of night wind shrilled
he had to let go of the terror of which he was filled
soon came sun, ready to steal the spotlight
she danced and beamed, she was a delight
and wind accepted this defeat, he let his fear be stilled

he didn't sin
he wasn't deserving
his body didn't even know it

some say it was
bad luck, maybe..
just a freak occurrence

but
death couldn't care
she gave him 13870 days
not a day less and not a day more
her word is always final

why do we try so hard to please
we always turn the corner
& no one is trying to please us

why do we hope so much
we always wake up
& no dream ever greets us

why do we always say I love you
we always long to hear it
& we never do

we always give, we always hope, we always long, we always speak
but that's just it- we never receive

I worry that every little thing I do,
disappoints you,

& I worry that the things I say,
embarrasses you.

I worry that the feelings I push away,
frustrates you.


& I realize.. i always worry,
and it always leads back to you.

But I don't ever worry for you
because I know you're not coming back,
I know you're okay.

you close the shades
and fail to speak

you let the shadows dance around you
but you never join in

you read the words of others
and never let your own flow

you will always make me smile
but you never lets yours' show

i think you've given up-

somewhere along the way
you decided- being alone is okay


and now I don't know how to get back in

I'm terrified,
maybe you don't want me in... ever again?