It hurts,
it hurts so,
so much
knowing
that I'm
not the kind of girl
people write songs about
or think about,
care about
or fall for..
Cause I'm too noisy
but also too quiet.
cause I'm not gentle
and not that kind
and I'm not gorgeous
or amazingly talented
and smart.

Will I ever find love..?

saying "I'm sorry" is like putting a bandaid on a stab wound
it makes you feel better about yourself
makes you feel like you solved the problem
and if the person is still mad?
then they're overreacting
but in reality
you didn't do anything
slapping a bandaid on a stab wound won't stop someone from bleeding out
saying I'm sorry wont change the fact that what you did was wrong

I don't want to die
I just need something to make me feel alive.

You were red and you liked me because I was blue
You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky
And you decided purple just wasn't for you.

it’s staring at the text
every day
but knowing they wouldn’t respond anyways

I love the imagery
Of you sitting next to me
Close to me
Being with me

For now, I love that imagery
Unfortunately
That's all imaginary

i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget

if i was icarus
and the wax on my wings melted
i would have apologized to you
for splashing the ocean water on you

if you stabbed me
and i was dying
i would have apologized to you
for getting blood on your shirt

if we fought
and didn't make up
i would have apologized to you
for saying sorry

well,
i'm sorry.
sorry.