yeah I'm fine, why do you ask?
is it because you miss me,
or do you miss me missing you?
is it because you still love me,
or are you afraid I'm starting to not love you,    anymore?

I chop off my hands before reaching for my gun
My matted hair is tangled so I sweep it into a bun
I wave hello to the bus driver who's on the last run
as I shield my eyes from the burning, midnight sun
I put the bazooka in my mouth, Jesus it weighs a ton
I pull the trigger, the missile penetrates, this ain't fun

Every grain of sand
Is perfection in my hand
Every wave in constant motion
In that endless noble ocean
Knee-deep in frothy foam
I am here, I am home
The sea will never grow old
The sea will never wither and mold
I belong to this shore,
My every limb, my every pore
I whisper to the nautic air
And it carries my every prayer
In this beauty so majestic and vast
I am no longer me, that lonely outcast.
A salty smell,
A flawless shell,
It all puts me a misty trance
So I stretch out my arms and begin to dance
Pass me the gin
Lift up your chin
Forget the family, forget the adderall
No matter what I will never be small

I ask you, I beg you…not break my heart
Not now, this time, I break apart
The past doth visit, this night of all
My heart, responds to whom that call
Though you no longer walk this land
My heart remembers each grain of sand
That time when you have grasped my heart
Our dreams we swore we’d never part

Almost one year,  you’ve asked from me
To take your hand, so forever we’d be
And Yes, I said...my heart spoke true
That forever, I will stand, and always love you
And so we dreamed and planned our lives
With child and more, our hearts contrived

Alas, God spoke and needed thee
To take you early, and set you free
From life on earth, where you’ve made your mark
To Heaven you land, new roads embark
God recognize your worth so true
And so he made known his need for you

Up there you shine, and your heart is known
For all to see, how you have grown
For me, its clear I've learned some truth
Though I have lost, God has me soothed
To know you serve our Lord with trust
And be the Light, to fight for just

So do not see me as one that’s broken
I know that you and God has spoken
I will soon take my place along your side
As we have planned to be your bride
And so I shall wait the time ‘til then
Know that I always love you, until then end

For now, I bide the time I’m here
No obstacle, nor hardship shall I ever fear
For I know in the end, I will meet you there
When God, shall agree our time to share
The love begun at the first hello
Through time, shall be clear, we both shall know
Forever, our love, forever we last
Through millennia, and more, whatever past

Dear God, whoever, whatever, wherever you are- can you see me?

Can you see the terror in my eyes?
This day I wakened gripped in fear.
Can you see me behind the lies?
False is my smile, real is my tear

That trails my cheek the stain remains
The mask each day I don at morn
No soul beholds the blinding pain
For not shall I allow one's scorn

Dear God can you hear me?

My screams are stifled by the sound
Of winds I turn to carry me
Away from dismal strife abound
I turn my back one step to flee

When I speak, my voice not mine
Tis what you wish that you will hear
That life is good and all is fine
Expression when my soul can't bear

Soliloquy for me alone
With words that bring me to my knees
I shake with chill deep to the bone
Despair I pray that no one sees

Dear God, can you feel me?

I know my heart beats within
Yet how I wish that it would cease
Perhaps no longer that I shall sin
And finally gain a sense of peace

I wish to hate you for you have made me
Look how I've grown with this weak shell
Assembled pieces faithlessly
The cracks run deep, dear God, pray tell

Can you see my tears and hear my cries?
Or feel the knife plunged deep within
My heart, my soul, my mind defies
Hope, joy, and love, my harshest sin

Are you there, my God, or no!
Why have you made me thus?
Alas, no one shall know my woe
To will my body back to dust

Tis all my own, this place I made
No one to blame only myself
Goodbye, farewell and so I bade
Sorrow, oh flame! My life engulf!