Get away from me,
My evil twin is just around the corner.
You see,
She's very protective.
You need to leave,
She is not going to be merciful.
You see,
She wasn't born this defective.
A boy she thought was man
Told her she had a pretty face,
And she lost her footing on this cliff,
Trying to kiss the space bellow his eye and above his cheek.

I want to write, I want my words to flow
Like a raging waterfall in the beginning of spring
I want my words to scream as loud as I do in my head

But I have nothing
No words to put on a paper
No words to be said
No sentences to be formed

I only have this
Me, my brain and the complete chaos inside
I want to write
But I have nothing I would understand
Just a bunch of words flying around in my head
I want to throw all of my feelings on a paper
I want to create something

I don't care if I get crushed
I don't care if no one understands
I don't care if I don't understand
There is too much
It is everywhere

I feel...
Inspired
Happy
Angry
Stressed
Depressed
Hypnotized
Excite­d
Sad
Greatful
Exhausted
Independent
Alone
Proud

Infinite.

Yet I can't seem to write anything
And that is all I want

I avoid the nights because I''m scared of the darksness
I escape from sleep because I don't know if I'll wake up
I stay up all night because I'm scared of the morning
I'm scared of the night
I'm scared of the dawn
I'm scared of every second of every day

If I sleep it only makes it worse
What if I dream?
I can't control my dreams
Maybe you would be in them
What if you're not in them?

I'm scared
That's why I stay up
At least then I have my eyes to search
And maybe I'll find the monster
Before it finds me

Sometimes, it feels as if cigarettes are the only friend who remains loyal,
as if they're the fuel to my garden, a rich deep soil
I crave to be alone, I crave attention too
I jump quite often between the two
from sparkling gold
to drowning blue

Don't tell me when or if I'm right
don't teach me how to soar
My stubborn wings will find their flight
for this masochism I do abhor
but sometimes it feels as if I don't stand a chance
like each single moment is my last time to glance
at grass and at sunshine but who even cares?

these cigarettes hypocratize my words
I cringe when I hear song from birds

Useless. Whining. A waste of space
find a healthier being to take my place
Sometimes, I think who I am and how I behave
clash like flames to tidal waves