I have learned
     through rigorous study

the delicate and necessary

     art
          of
making the best of a bad situation

You chose the bottle over me for 27 years

You won’t get that chance again

He makes my body want
…….

to break

He blew in on what appeared to be a gentle breeze. Little did either detect the tsunami that was to follow. He brought Oz trailing behind him. Everything turned technicolor when he tipped his hat. Each blink revealed that twinkle in his eye and the flash when he grinned was contagious.
In Oz the sun is warmer, the rain gentler, the sleep sounder. In Oz the words that come easily unfold without effort but everything can be said with only a look and a sigh or even a touch.
He isn't aware of his departure,  disappearing as fluidly as he first appeared with the technicolor cape billowing and folding in on itself. Like he has jumped into a black hole ....or....he finally found the magic to make that carpet  fly like we always joked about........only he's just returned to the emerald city (not really (-; ) Bright  lights beam in that emerald city while I remain in the black and white version of Oz

Wanting to be *******

With winding ropes

Woven on your loom

He speaks with words
that exude
some sort of
false
exhaltation
Pretend adoration
for
all the years of
us.
No longer
can I trust
as I feel blindly
in the
emotional dark
I find myself
dwelling in.

sweet angel
oh how you've grown
the stars in your eyes remind me
that beauty still lives in this world

I stand in the corner of the room
my gaze resting on scattered piles
worn denim
softest of soft t-shirts
the open closet door offers a display
of no longer needed
suits and ties.
The dresser drawers have been emptied.
Still a smattering of personal objects
strewn as if they don't know
he won't be back to slide on the
ring and watchband.
Time no longer exists for these possessions
until a new somebody
searches for treasure and takes them as their own.
These things constructed of
threads
hooks
silver and gold
paper and ink
a physical representation of a man
but his legacy is not
located here
in this room
in these things.
He lives on in beating hearts
missed everyday with the reminders
strewn about.

Soul searching
Surprising catalyst provokes
thoughtful reflection of
what is and
never was
He is here and there and
Everywhere
Inside me I find I am
lost inside me I find
I am lost
Inside me I find
You
Him
I
am
lost
Over the top and
Under the surface
Where have I gone
The reflection in the
mirror and his eyes
is
Unrecognizable.
I am lost.
Searching for my soul.

I have to
     forget to remember
You

and

Remember
      to forget
the rest

there is no gesture so profound .....

At 2:20 a.m.
Sometimes it's hard to see
Both sides of the story
Thick with irony

My bright blonde boy is
   scared of that
   one low roll of rumble
Thunder reminds me
   of his vulnerability
The pitter patter
   of the rain
   keeps time
As I trudge up and down the stairs
   to tuck
   and reassure
He won't need me forever

At 4:22 a.m.
The creaks and groans
Of an aging home
Amplify
My lucid dreams
Danger all around me
In my subconscious scape

On the edge of
   half-awake
   dark shadows
   rouse me
Too alert now
   wandering from room to room
   checking the locks
My fortress is secure

The pitter patter
   of the rain
   a sweet refrain

A rousing
endorsement
for
marriage ....

good luck

healing:

verb (used with object)
1. to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.
2. to bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile: They tried to heal the rift between them but were unsuccessful.  
3. to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul.  

verb (used without object)
4. to effect a cure.
5. (of a wound, broken bone, etc.) to become whole or sound; mend; get well (often followed by up  or over  ).



reconciliation:


verb (used with object), rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing.  
1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.  
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.  
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.  
5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).

The task
painful and cumbersome
is to decide
if both can be.

man child of mine
Too soon for your broken heart
or hers
Or Mine
Love will persist
divine in its being

Trust

Breathe

Be

you say I saved you
brought you back to life
you, my awakening

Baby
I know how you like it.....

Settling for the saccharine sweet.

Well,
You'll never get any better than
Sugar.

The real deal

Raw
Pure
and
Rare.

I was ready to have kids

I was not ready to have adults

What kind of creature

can

     rise

from these ashes?

Carpet of copper needles showing the path to paradise

I did it for me

But I was thinking of you