life
is
half
over

Your absence
makes
my heart
grow fonder

So easy to suffer the singe
You got too close to the fire
Now you lost your lashes and brows
But more crucially
You lost your honor
Your very humanity
When you threw yourself
Upon my hearth
And took what was not yours

When the phone rings
                and when it doesn't.
Parking lot drive-by's
                bars...hotels....gas stations....public parks.....
Lost library books
                and lost teeth.
Going to the grocery store or
               running out of Nutella......
A funeral
               and a birthday party.
Broken dishes
               and  a steady diet of broken promises.

Condolences
or
Congratulations

Not sure which way to go

I guess both

You will never hear from me again

That day you got off

    my pain a prescient phenomena
of the future of our union

No worries

I wore misleading “white”
You stated misleading vows

       A sanctified (doomed) promise of fornever

Gotta feel those feels
     hitting hard today
                    and
                     yesterday

         You are here
         You are not here

I try to stay here
           when I feel like I don’t
                        exist

I’ll be the first to admit
     I’m a little
          Fluffy

Colorful

          Spun

And
  Melt
      In
        Your
            Mouth
Sweet

I am in a pink
     sheath
All straps and
     flesh
So wanting to wrap my legs
     around you
Wishing you were
     here
     to put me to bed
Knowing I will miss it
     for the rest of my
Life

She's been a
lady in waiting

great expectations
          and
delivered treasure
     glistens
     glows
fills a void
she never knew

Man becoming

I've always missed you
So what's different now?
Now
I miss the idea of you.
I've always loved you
So what's different now?
I just realized
Admitted to myself
That I'm in love with you.
Never the right time for us.
Never the right place.
Except in the quiet
Arms and legs
Entwined
Our world

exquisitely righteous to have the embodiment
of each and every one
standing before me
for all to see
packaged up (I can't say neat and tidy....but all in one place anyway)
it seems reasonable that one person has one or two
but to find them all in one place....
astonishing
I see you

Superbia
Avaritia
Luxuria
Invidia
Gula
Ira
Acedia

they all ring true as they emanate out of you

*we all know what happened to Ursula

You told me once
          of the distinctive jingle
          that announced my station
when I could steal away
for a few moments
     to speak
     to see
     to connect
Over that long distant airwave
You told me I was one
          of two
          the other your son
who you wanted to know
was on the other end
so you could be certain
to take the call
I wonder
     have I now been
          dismissed
          replaced
          discharged
­          reassigned
     to a lesser status
Or would you still get a tingle
if you heard my jingle?

A2

Retreat

a place of privacy or safety (Merriam-Webster)

Who would've imagined this old place...gutted and made to be pretty...?  That staircase wasn't there before....where the dance floor used to be. There's the stage door....still in the same place...opening right onto the busy street.   How many times was I snuck in attached to one band or another....jokingly labeled a groupie but really just passionate about being lost in the music and dancing.  The cheap beer didn't hurt.   I close my eyes and I'm transported to another time.....another place....and with my eyes closed I can sense that old warm energy licking my skin and my hair....warming my heart within the frozen casing of armor.  A moment can last forever in my vivid memory.

A1

Retreat

an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable (Merriam-Webster)

A physical withdrawal dissatisfies you.
No one sees
     where I go
     where I am
Urges to escape the silent threats
     leaves me lonlely
     leaves you desperate
Our silence screams
Safety

Ironic that some would say
I'm not entitled to my feelings or
have the right to express myself....?

Isn't that what poetry is for?

Or art
dance
song
tears
screams and
silence.....?

I will never be mute
and
I honor my
heart
mind and
soul.

Nor would I ever expect it of any of you.

Is it a mystical force

Within me

That shuts the streetlight down

As I pass beneath?

That quiets the crickets

As I stride by

At this ridiculous time of day?

Such silly girlhood notions

To imagine I posses that kind of power

And I thought those childhood fantasies

Were evacuated

Must be hiding away from the darkness

Behind my spleen

Undectable to me.

It definitely was not a first kiss
     innocent and pure and so
          eagerly anticipated.
It could not have been a last kiss
     tragic and cold and so
           easily forgotten.
It was a kiss of death
It was a kiss of life
It was a kiss unlike any
     living
     breathing
     pulsing
     pulling
     shocking
     teasing
     reality
It was a kiss of a dream
     with a stranger or maybe
            with a danger
Left me
     aching
     burning
     yearning
     more or less....

sometimes I miss you to the point that I feel you pulsing in my bones vibrating in that rhythm the tempo
yours and yours alone

No more urgent escapes

     fleeing the totems

that mark every arrow

     shot into my heart

No more anticipation
    
     of relaxation

The one and only
Now a fond but
Melancholy memory

Instead of the excitement

     of knowing you are

25 or 2500 miles

     near and away

Now I know
Even if you are
next door

I'll never get to

     tiptoe over your threshold

again

A luminous glow
                from
screens    fire        candle light
     allows the      masquerade
to continue
well           past midnight
        every
night
complacent
     the red chair
you
over                                          there
ton­gue(mine)silent
         belies the storm
                    raging
                              in­side

I heard ya
            when ya said
I like it like that.

Over
Under
All around

I ache for
               your words
hold breath for
               your sound

I'll wait....
watch for you....

But you'll have to visit
in dream

I hope to hold your hand there


I miss you

I feel the weight

     of you

your pores singe my skin

but

     only in memory

now

Pushed up against the wall

     and

begging for more

(I had Blue Note coffee this morning-for the first time in a VERY long time- hint of cinnamon….)