when they come to me in a dream (offering promises of carnal delight) “you and me we should probably just let it be” I agree but it shouldn’t feel this good this fine this free just to be with you even in a figment of my imagination and then I said “I have to go“ feeling the absence slowly seep as I ascend a rocky stair without turning back certain you are still there
so easy to forget for those who do not feel deeply for those who cannot extract empathy for those who are so self absorbed for those stuck in infancy for those wielding all the sharp objects for those delivering every stab so easy to remember with the constant reminders open wounds bandages scars and that shiny blade sliding in and out
I will press on and try to view the world as a safe place through the eyes of my beautiful and amazing children.
He speaks with words that exude some sort of false exhaltation Pretend adoration for all the years of us. No longer can I trust as I feel blindly in the emotional dark I find myself dwelling in.
Who would've imagined this old place...gutted and made to be pretty...? That staircase wasn't there before....where the dance floor used to be. There's the stage door....still in the same place...opening right onto the busy street. How many times was I snuck in attached to one band or another....jokingly labeled a groupie but really just passionate about being lost in the music and dancing. The cheap beer didn't hurt. I close my eyes and I'm transported to another time.....another place....and with my eyes closed I can sense that old warm energy licking my skin and my hair....warming my heart within the frozen casing of armor. A moment can last forever in my vivid memory.
Soul searching Surprising catalyst provokes thoughtful reflection of what is and never was He is here and there and Everywhere Inside me I find I am lost inside me I find I am lost Inside me I find You Him I am lost Over the top and Under the surface Where have I gone The reflection in the mirror and his eyes is Unrecognizable. I am lost. Searching for my soul.
This life with you without you has driven me mad The Swirling Twirling Hurling Whirling Riddles that represent This life with you. Without you I am nothing and with you even less who knew.... could have predicted This carefully orchestrated Mess? Only you
My thirst is quenched, for the moment your heartbreak -a balm- on the wounds wrought by you, the burns of your malice swollen, all these years, softening with the knowing of your heartbreak
Made the decision I'm gonna grow down Sink my roots deeper Into the ground Seen too much of life To let myself drown Shakin you up Determined and bound Got me Got you Let's get busy Let's get found
I've always missed you So what's different now? Now I miss the idea of you. I've always loved you So what's different now? I just realized Admitted to myself That I'm in love with you. Never the right time for us. Never the right place. Except in the quiet Arms and legs Entwined Our world
He married twice once to her once to me He married twice once to her once to her I married once so says that faded piece of paper kept in a safe all these years
My heart knows I've never been wed Never been loved, honored, cherished like all those hers out there like I deserved to be
Oh please... I've grown so tired of your yipping and yapping, random running from stump to twig leaving a trail of **** behind you- desperate efforts to be wanted- to belong. But no marking allows you to possess what doesn't belong to you. All that you leave behind your legacy are piles of steaming waste and stains dripping down bark and leaves and that sour stench creating the perimeter that constructs your cage and leaves the rest of us to walk with grace and love in the unsullied home of our hearts.
I dreamt about you my senses enslaved by your scent still a combo of coppertone and spearmint touch commanding taste salty surprise sound the purr that rumbles from the back of your throat and yes, even sight *eyes still a-twinkle
Have you seen the rainbow with colors that don't exist? I have .....
Dreams make anything possible Fortune is me-made Desire can burn a fire through a soul smolder and smoke inhale and choke We learn to live love fall fly Why do we pretend that we'll never die?
No bells rang out On that fine day Each moment Imprinted In my mind Spilled red wine Sunshine chasing the clouds away Acres of shoulder high corn Spreading green As far as the eye could see Now these memories Tarnished with Time Boxed up Locked up So obviously obliviously meaningless meaning Missing still Silver band's embrace Shiny shadow on that second finger left hand Missing still No bells ring out On this fine day
"I stood in the doorway half into the room waiting there for something more than what I've known before She said that the girl you came to see is now the girl I used to be She doesn't live here any more so won't you close the door"
Strangers...definitely and your fingers play my rhythm still
(Nick) With him I found my body and my heart (Jamie) He provoked confidence that led to a series of firsts and adventures (Brad) Hit and run but I had no visible injuries (Craig) Electricity without the bill, if you know what I mean.....? (Brad) Again.....a worthy distraction (Ted) I learned patience (and idolatry) (B) So inexplicably sad....a tragedy (Brad) The one that always and never could be
Coming and going as the weavers work their magic Forth and back words hollow promises empty through the ages and stages My era began and ended bloated with disasters of the less than forgettable kind I am defined by the stillness inside I came from and put forth love The unmentionables try to devour me I continue until.....
The rumble of a lawn tractor next door... reminds me of..... the guttural snare in the back of your throat as you lean in to nuzzle my neck with your nose I feel your hands on my hips anticipating
(a fresh faced ingenue....) Feeling so cosmopolitan we were framed in the oversized windows facing the busy street like one of those old black and white photos capturing the romance in the moment Probably a dish with “Au gratin” or “Alfredo “ in the name.... Assured by her breathlessness anticipating something (but what?) His smoky Greco stare almost pleading definitely hungry eventually her loss Her gain their Wild At Heart refrain
I see you over there frozen in that chair shame oozes from your pores and miles of open sores slashing and burning has left you lonely and yearning for love you'll never be deserving