I stopped calling

     stopped texting

             unfriended you on Facebook (LOL-not even my account....I don't have one) today

We've been friends for more than half my life

     more than friends from time to time (FWB....BFF....NSA.....OMFG!)

            and now it's like neither of us exists

Because you had to lie

     you had to hold out....lead me on

          to cover your *** for doing something I repeatedly told you to do (***!!??)

So painfully slowly I'm erasing you

      deleting you

           turning my mind off  you (IMY  :-(  XO)

*TTFN

Seattle

I came

I saw

I conquered

Well....

Not sure about that last one

Now a game of

Wait
And
See

Is it a mystical force

Within me

That shuts the streetlight down

As I pass beneath?

That quiets the crickets

As I stride by

At this ridiculous time of day?

Such silly girlhood notions

To imagine I posses that kind of power

And I thought those childhood fantasies

Were evacuated

Must be hiding away from the darkness

Behind my spleen

Undectable to me.

In the vicinity of midnight
After a sticky city day
The sweat of the streets washed away
The glow of the flat screen
And the anonymous king size bed
Prone and captive
No urge to escape
Captivated
Kneading
Leads to
Needing
Your touch topples towers
Avalanche
And then the
Quiver
Shiver
Lover

healing:

verb (used with object)
1. to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.
2. to bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile: They tried to heal the rift between them but were unsuccessful.  
3. to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul.  

verb (used without object)
4. to effect a cure.
5. (of a wound, broken bone, etc.) to become whole or sound; mend; get well (often followed by up  or over  ).



reconciliation:


verb (used with object), rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing.  
1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.  
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.  
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.  
5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).

The task
painful and cumbersome
is to decide
if both can be.

Ironic that some would say
I'm not entitled to my feelings or
have the right to express myself....?

Isn't that what poetry is for?

Or art
dance
song
tears
screams and
silence.....?

I will never be mute
and
I honor my
heart
mind and
soul.

Nor would I ever expect it of any of you.

blooming
two plants
completely separate origins
10 blossoms
capture the eastern warmth
one plant a directed gift
symbolic of death
the other a random discount store deal
they are nurtured
with my sorrow and love
and give back to me
life and time
stolen

.......




exactly

As we travel
     through the hills and valleys
          the calms and the storms
The words
     strewn and carefully placed
Lead each of us to experience

His joy
Her heartaches
His regret
Her boasting

There is one here who wails
Suggesting she suffers from slings and arrows
When
     in fact
Her wounds are self inflicted
She begs mercy
But deserves only disdain
She is a maurauder
     the quintessential wolf in sheepskin
Her only comfort comes from
     licking
     and
     *******
     the
     bones
Of the few and fair she pledged protection
     lying a tangled mass
     a macabre resemblance of
     pick up sticks
     in her corrupt cage of  corpses

Beware the rosy cheeked colleague
passing you in the hall
asking you how you are.
Beware the helpful friend
willing to lend a hand
at a moment's notice.
Beware the grocery clerk
smiling while she inspects your list
sending you off to have a nice day.
Beware
Beware
Beware
All snipers everywhere
False smiles are the turrets they hide behind
Praise offered in an attempt to make you feel safe
Only so they can make their mark
Hit thier target
Finish the job
Bullseye

I have prohibited

ALL

Invasive species

The only

Parasites

allowed

are those I grew in my own body

I was ready to have kids

I was not ready to have adults

When the phone rings
                and when it doesn't.
Parking lot drive-by's
                bars...hotels....gas stations....public parks.....
Lost library books
                and lost teeth.
Going to the grocery store or
               running out of Nutella......
A funeral
               and a birthday party.
Broken dishes
               and  a steady diet of broken promises.

Subtitle: Unexpected visitors

Entanglement states that two particles that have become linked in a special way can be separated to any distance-even opposite ends of the universe-and a change in one particle will be immediately reflected in the other. (M. Ireland)

Seems when my lids are shut tight
that's when my mind's eye cracks open
Clarity within the fog.....
I see a sweet little cottage
     cozy and quaint
just like a stage set for
secrets.
My approach reveals an open door
     open mind
          open heart.
There's snow blanketing the ground....
at least one representation of the
real world.
I step through the door to find
a most unexpected surprise.....
     the butterflies in my stomach emerge from dormancy
     our lips electrified
     magnetic.
This time we both try to fight it
Try* being the key word.
Off stage
     off set
           off site
I know another really important person is there.
I want to see him more
but I can't pull myself away.
He is a memory.
He has yet to visit.
He makes me feel safe
but the butterflies go back to sleep when I step away from
you.

A rousing
endorsement
for
marriage ....

good luck

Ani
Bob
Cat
Dido
E...enough said
Florence
Grace
Hank
Ice T
Janis
Kimbra
Lyle
Melissa
Neko
Olivia
Poe
Queen (this one is tricky)
Robyn
Stevie
Tori
U2
Vic
Waits
XTC
Yo La Tengo
Zak

Many thanks

The things I know of you
     Deceit
     Disregard
     Disrespect
Your made up world
presented in a
pretty little package
pretended
     Charm
     Creativity
     Colors
Flamboyant like a male peacock
And now your soulful eyes
claiming to be
real and true
look into mine
no longer blind
     Soulless
     Stinging
     Singed
from the fumes
of your arson
As I stand in the ashes
accused  
although
all I did was
toss a dying ember
onto the ruins left behind
after all your fires

Beware for
the predator parades
hiding behind her facade
of
waxen words
lulling you
serenading you with the
toxic tonic of spoken and
unspoken lies
She lies in wait
waits in lies
to pounce and
pierce her venom
through your soul
She knows who she is
You've been touched by her
before
the Troll living under the bridge
in HePo land, amongst you all,
casting her spell
weaving her web
unhinging her jaw
looking for her next meal

My apology is automatic
  in my moment of weakness
I know what I want and
  seek safety before that.
Safety in disconnection
  flattery a lure and a
  weapon.
The urge so strong
Unstoppable until the
Moment of weakness then
Insight and
Clarity

it was an innocent question
     but loaded nonetheless
if he would have known
     who he was asking
we looked the average couple
     in that dive bar holding hands
capturing the other's glance
     with a secret smile
"Is this your girlfriend?"
     your friend or acquaintance inquired
I froze
     my breath stuck for a moment
you paused then I watched the corners of that masterful mouth
     turn up and bloom into a satisfied smirk
I said nothing but looked in your soulful eyes
     you said "yes"
I froze
     my breath stuck for another moment
you glanced at me
     quizzically
we both exhaled
     "it's complicated"
but I knew you were right
     I was

You so desperately want to
tickle my
funny bone
Don't you realize
how fractured
you all left it....
And this broke-down heart
cannot pump the
healing elixer
My veins have run dry
from the
Ectomy
you performed
with the myriad of surgical assistants
you employed
So you can search for that phantom
spark
but don't be too disappointed when
you come out empty handed.

A nasty round of Keep-away
     has begun this day
So tired in this game of Life
     with edges sharper than a knife

               I've been through the ringer
                      hit with a stinger
               A runner in a race
                     though I was never informed of the chase.

Obstacle course
Dodge ball
Blind man's bluff
Hide-n-seek
Pin-the-tail on the Donkey (that would be me....tee hee)
Poker
Sorry

Now it appears
     my injured heart is to be stabbed with spears
As you land that plane
     In my domain

               No more crashes of hot-wheel cars
                    we stay away as we gaze at the same stars
               On this trapeze I've lost my net
                    leaving me with much to fret

Keep watching you corrupt waste of DNA

Your whole life is wasted trying to be a part of it

So desperate

But you will never be one of the chosen

Always a reject

Protect those cankles

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks" is a quotation from the 1602 play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. It has been used as a figure of speech, in various phrasings, to indicate that a person's overly frequent or vehement attempts to convince others of something have ironically helped to convince others that the opposite is true, by making the person look insincere and defensive.*

(So transparently self absorbed. Stay trapped in the box. I've travelled to distant planets and left the waste behind. Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown listening to all the grown ups "wah wha whaaa....")

The golden lights glow and
          twinkle and
          dance
The magic of the bulbs like
     fairies prancing
     through the trees
Jumping from one snowflake to
     the next
The slap of the bone-chilling
     air tempered by the
     bewitching
     bouncing
     brilliant
     forest of lights in the middle
     of the city
The beat of my hollow heels
     follows me as I trace
     a path
Around this oasis
Forgetting myself for the moment