Gotta feel those feels
     hitting hard today
                    and
                     yesterday

         You are here
         You are not here

I try to stay here
           when I feel like I don’t
                        exist

Perennial safety net
the roots grow shallow
for you

I am pierced in place

     Salvation for one
     Release the next
     Indulgence follows
Lust fire lies falling lashes
     Forever entangled
                  and
                    estranged.

The crack in the surface of it….
     a circular pattern
     suggesting the continuity of
     encounters with pain

As I consider the years
     the fears
     the layers of time
     holding me close

I feel the deep
     connection to it
                         to you
                         to it
                         to me
holding on to the idea
                         the fantasy
                         the figment

I choose to walk away
     from you
Big trouble
     and allow my heart to settle
          into the
          absence of you.