my face was reflecting starlight, sprinkled with stardust,
glowing bright in the moonlight,
are we in hollywood?
because i feel like the brightest star in the interstellar neighbourhood,
i say hi to my lover, then i say bye to my lover,
then i watch you disappear in the crowd
on the boulevard, that’s a few streets from here,
i feel like a star, like a movie star, when i perform for you,
when i perform just for you,

my legs were shaking like i was a supermodel
on a runway in the new york city,
but i was in polish hollywood,
a magical place that is everywhere my baby goes,
while watching you disappear slowly in the never-ending crowd,
i was trying to convince myself not to go after you,
but let them cover you instead,
cause if i follow you, i’m sure i’ll see things
i’ll never unsee,
like those you used to show me daily
and show still to make sure i will remember
who i used to call my whole world,
and later you would start an interview with me,
in which i’d forget how to speak,
in the shadow of the swaying trees,
on the side alley which doesn’t connect to other allies,
there would be only you and me, no audience needed,
but there’s nothing for me to say
other than hi to my lover, then bye to my lover,
we have nothing to talk about, we never had - we never will,

thought i was lost when i lost you, like a sailor on a sinking boat
in the middle of a raging sea,
but no, it was just a movie that you were a director of
and i had the starring role,
i have absolutely no idea what the genre was - drama or a lame comedy,
it felt like we were famous in hollywood,
once we were touring the neighbourhood,
i was running freely in the pouring rain, wiped the droplets off my face,
then we were crossing the highway,
the other day i sat down after you knocked me out,
went on snapchat and revealed,
that i started writing poetry about you cause the things i feel
i will never say to you in person,
i’m brave, but your eyes are f*g giving me nightmares,
bittersweet dreams as well,
now it all is over and still the only things i say
are hi to my lover, then bye to my lover,
and that goes over and over,

but not as often as before,
cause my hollywood is somewhere else now.

you hunted me down
like a malevolent, carnivorous bird,
a fearless eagle
targeted me easily like I was wounded animal,
but I was a fallen angel,
on my first day on earth,
couldn’t distinguish between bad and good,
i believed you were my savior
and you weren’t - but a furious predator,
you made the vague things clear,
i finally understood
the difference between
bad and good,

i got sent away
in a glamorous, golden express,
sparkling like some expensive jewellery,
that brought me back home,
and my home was heaven,
and now it’s been months since i finished my rehab,
and as tiny stars put their old mother to bed,
and as they bring a replacement for her,
i see eagles circling around a tower of a palace I’m living in,
i wear blue velvet and I put my halo on,
i rehearse my lines in my head,
hoping today will be the day of my salvation,
it’s my biggest dream,
although i can’t be saved
from something that saves me,
from something that is both
bad and good.

my life is a poetry book
and every day is a poem,
i try to keep sunlight between the pages,
not knowing how to hold it in my hands,

my life is a poetry book,
i don’t have a title for it yet,
it’s about a boy who’s seeking happiness
between pages of self-written novels,

my life is a poetry book,
365 poems a year,
i write free-verse during creativity surges,
on black like tar nonexistent beaches,

my life is a poetry book
and my head is a library,
filled to the brim with forbidden novels,
that disappear temporarily during day,

my life is a poetry book,
it’s pretty much themeless,
once i throw paper planes like missiles,
then i’m drowning in my inner darkness,

my life is a poetry book,
i’m writing with my own blood,
sometimes i want to publish it already,
but i can’t leave a sentence unfinished.

drive me to nevada,
all the way to las vegas,
we could go gambling in the local casinos or ride the high roller,
or get f**d up,
then drive me to california,
we’ll take a walk across venice,
and take a ride on a starline tours bus,
we’ll be hitchhiking through the west coast,
we could fly,
we could die,
we are young freaks, baby,
the world belongs to us.

my baby was a writer too,
we wanted to do something big,
we wanted to get really far,
but one day you received a letter with a red stamp on it,
your poems were the best,
you got such a huge chance,
to change the world,
and if you never left me we could have written the best poem ever,
if you never left the town then we could have made a masterpiece,
i still have drafts
and single lines
of the ooze that was supposed to be the best poem ever,
you were supposed to be famous,
you were supposed be recognized,
you told me you’ll write a masterpiece,
and now it’s been years since i heard about you.

One blue day I had a bizarre vision
There was something fishy in the air
Stood up and looked out of the window
My eyes grew wide
Like porcelain saucers
Your heart became
Cried on your back and begged you to stop
But you didn’t listen
Because electricity took over your brain
You were corrupted
And I was so ******* scared of voltage
So scared you would change me irrevocably

I couldn’t think of any possible reasons
Maybe I’m just too dumb to understand
Why you freed your newborn demons
And watched them sink into quicksand
It was you who got taken away
I’ve been trying to fix you all day
But you couldn’t stop
Cause you were already in phase two
You gained so much power
That your volts broke through my head
Your telephone wires imprisoned me

And my veins became your wires

you met me again on the tennis court,
asked me if you’ve done something wrong,
with your voice more elusive than ever,
sweet like vanilla and light as a feather,
and you said it so innocently,
that you melted pure stone,
you’re truly unbelievable,
and i said:
no spell,
no witch doctor,
and no nazar,
will keep us apart,
i know you didn’t think what’s later when you were hurting me,
doesn’t matter, cause you’re just how i want you to be,
in my dreams,

and as i return home, as i escape daily b**t,
some force puts me to bed,
i believe strongly, that when i visit that world
i will see you there again
and tell you things, that bother me like 24/7,
in my dreams you always listen,
in my dreams you are only mine,
in my dreams we forget the time,
in my dreams.