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last night i stubbed my toe
in the dark
trying to find my bed

i limped to the refuge
and the blood
poured out from my nail

no healing happened hastily
in that night
but i lived and sutured
******* up *****, is inevitable, and takes time to heal from

p.s.
this is not fiction
i stubbed my toe last night
and it hurt
(but it's also a metaphor)
Healing happens
When hands are
Held loosely

It's no good
To tighten
Your grip

When a
sword stabs
Your palm
Just moments after the eye stops staring insatiably at us
You can hear the flicking on of all those machines
As you walk down the flooded streets so slow
The violinists pull the strings, and on they go
One to the left of us, three to the right
Two in front of us, and none to the behind

The conductors swing their arms
The symphony clangs, alarms
Lighting up the homes and the tv screens
Chilling the musicians, and the shaky beams
Walk around some more, you'll hear one hit a low C
While you slosh through the street's home sea
if anyone cares, I haven't been posting here because I haven't been writing. I've only been experiencing.
Specifically, I've been experiencing Hurricane Irma and the aftermath thereof. This is a poem about that aftermath. I hope you enjoy it.
“You never really did like talking, did you?” she asks rhetorically.
As our fingers interdigitate and the sky dims deathly dark against the white waves of the Gulf of Mexico,
she accepts my silence as an answer while we walk westward into the ocean.

And what good would it have done for me to speak up?
The crashing waves on either side of us speak mountains more than my words ever could.

I speak mostly via my eyes.

My soul leaps and bounds out from my hazel shore and into her oceanic ports, her verdant eyes.
We walk toward the end of the pier, as the wind wailing against our ears drowns out the sound of our flip-flops flopping.
They’d go “flop… flop…” but neither of us can hear them.

The wind divides the water molecules from the salty ones, sending some up into the air and into our trajectory.
I can taste them on my skin and in my eyes.

As we pass the last obstruction and the air that aspires to be a hurricane intrudes our lungs, a mantra plays in my head, words she once said:

A healthy relationship is one in which you’re comfortable with the noise and the silence.

And here we are with both the opaque sound and the deafening quiet, each paradoxically cancelling out the other.
If the flop of our shoes is masked by the sound of the waves, perhaps the distress on my face might never meet her eyes.

But it does.

And as we return eastward from our finger-locked, tongue-tied stroll down the Naples Pier, she takes the south exit while I take the north.
I didn't write this as a poem originally, but I started to see myself in it the more that I wrote it, so I transposed it here.
I'm drunk
Is this how far I've sunk?

I'm alone
Because a choosing my own

I'm celibate
Because I tasted and hated it

I'm safe and sound
Because being is ground

I'm aware
So don't beware

I'm done
Abusing you for fun

I've finished
Making pain a business
I actually did write this while I was drunk
This weather is here for no longer than a second
So if you're not enjoying every last moment of it
Your heart is of stone

The coldness is nothing to you because it is everything you've ever known
The best place to hide something is every occupiable space in the universe
That's why we can't see God
It's because we see God everywhere and mistake it for something else
That's the theory at least...

If God were finite we'd see Him
We'd see him exist in some places but not others because finititude is not infinite

If this good weather lasted longer than a conglomerate of moments it would mean less
If normality was good weather, good weather would just be normal
The spice of life is variety
We are made aware of presence when
We are made aware that the presence isn't there
I am constantly acclimated to blandness, no matter the substance I taste, if I eat everything all the time
Food will become a simple thing like air
Simply complex
But it'd be around me all the time
Slowly becoming undetectable
If God hugged everyone at every moment the embrace would be intangible even though it may be the only really real thing in this universe
If God gave all He ever had to us at every monent, we'd lose what it means to feel the feelings his gifts give us
And I would feel like I do now
Tired and cold
In this good weather for a change
My heart trembles like my fingers
Cold and nimble
Breathing God in
And breathing God out
Completely unaware of His presence in life's functions
In its bores
In its troughs
In its peaks and in its joys
He is in all
I wrote this 1-20-2016
So tightly knit
So closely wound
Til falls a slit
Straight to the ground

I won't be 'round for a while
So temporarily lend me your smile

So cognizant, so aware
So indifferent, so beware

Of what I can do when I'm alone
With you and my spirituality
Of my abuse to you shown
And the distortion of reality
a conflict of morality and desire
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