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Idk
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Idk
I got everything I could ask for,
N- even then I want more,
Is it selfish, am I heartless.
Could I be someone I impress.
Coz lately,
I ain't liking my image..
If
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
If
If the winds could carry me
I'd ask them to take me high so I'd feel free

If the waves could give me breath
I would swim to the deepest depth

If a tree had a soul
I'd asked it to help me grow

If a dog had a voice
I'd ask it to show me joy

If a cloud could hold my weight

I would steal the stars and make a wish every single day

If my heart would never break

Then
I wouldn't need a star to wish the pain away
I wouldn't wish that I could fly
or swim down to the deepest depth
far away from any noise or ignorance
I wouldn't look at the dogs wishing I could live so free and joyful just like them
I wouldn't need a tree to help my soul grow nice a beautiful.

If my heart would never break

What if
Anthony Collazo Sep 2021
Sometimes i gotta remind myself..

I'm allowed to be loved

I'm allowed to be free

I'm allowed to be happy

I'm allowed to be me.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
You'll never be better than anyone by trying to be better than everyone only when you're better than yourself will you be better.
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I'm not happy.
I'm just smiling,
I'm not alive,
I'm just living.
I'm not hopeful,
I'm just hoping.
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I write poems
I write poetry
I write songs
I write love stories
I write dark
I write alot
I write my thoughts
I write,

so it doesn't become an act.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
Desperate times,

Call for

despair in rhymes
I like writing music and in one of my sad songs this line stands out the best bcoz as a writer it couldn't be quoted any better
Anthony Collazo Feb 2021
Evil was beside himself,
he never really had nobody else.

He never took care of his health,
he never cared what others thought
Cause deep inside he knew he was,

made to rot.

It all goes back to that first thought
when all was dark and all was black
when there was no sign of a thought
emotions lacked
He held them back
He learned to act and take attacks and when he snips,
They all get mad.

Ahahaha!

Its fun for him
The game thats played

Its fun for him
The **** they say

He knows they're weak and tempting him

They're trying to stir the ***
He's in,

but this guy's been kicked
since he was,

a little kid...

He stepped in ****,
And took a lick
his sick as ****
Just look at him
Perverted ****
I'm sick of him

But they keep lurking in
With **** to say,

Its on replay
Oh blah blah blah

You're not a threat
You're ignorant
and childish!

You're full of ****..

Everytime he speaks they ******* cringe but they're watching him like a netflix binge

Identity- is

im-per-fec-ted

Yet they think he should be perfect

Like they're perfect

no ones perfect

But it'll be worth it,
As he keeps working
On whats inside,

Oh **** the surface!
Yeah **** the surface
when your insides hurting

So keep on judging
And ill keep on working..

In the end we will see who's the better person...

Just don't lose focus on how you act when someone's in the rut eating scraps,
when someone's in the slums living with rats and roaches all that gross ****,
dont lose focus on how you act

Cause when they make it
You're gonna want a pay day
When they make it,
the haters will come say

Hey!
I knew you could do it,

Yeah ******* trick
I knew I could do it,
Commitment and focus
And alot of dead ends

But wait!!

til the end
Evil always wins...
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I feel like my mind has more than one writer, I review my writing and see so many differences, it's strange. Perhaps I have another personality I dont know about. It takes over and writes heartfelt things, then I come to write nonsense LOL.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
It's hard to watch them grow up,
Knowing all the bad stuff,
Knowing that their soul,
will be ripped apart.
What's the goal,
why'd Noah make the ark,
Tell me
was this world really worth saving,
I think not.
Every human is fake or rot,
Don't tell me,
that you're not
I've seen it all,
I know what you got,
To offer,
its awful.
I hate you,
it's bottled.
I've play the game
since I was 5,
I'd played with it.
I don't believe words
I need evidence
I think I'm cursed..
Due to my relationships.
They say having kids,
is a blessing,
To me its just a lesson
we keep forgetting
He showed us innocence
Yet we re-molded it
Into our own images,
This isn't what it's meant
When having kids.
You're supposed to show what the struggle is
let them know how you were suffering let them see life for what it really is,
after you show em all,
Tell em, don't be like me
cause you're unique
the way you are the way you speak
That innocence has long left me.
Teach them their heros...
Didn't get far,
living in the same homes
Wearing all the same clothes
Driving around,
with the same car.
Snorting stuff up their nose
Smoking blunts to feel good
Drinking drugs, changing moods,
**** it...
this world is hateful
I should've thought
twice before I had you.
Bringing life into a hell
That's filled with a plagued view..
If only I knew it wouldn't change you.
Maybe then I wouldn't feel the way I do..
I don't know what the future holds,
And that's all I know,
Or is it I don't.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I used to be a kid with nothing
Living in the suburbs
Never using curse words
Then I lost something,
They say,
it's God given.
This spirit,
that lives within
Which is now a grown kid,
Adult with no super vision given.
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
Broken arms
Broken legs
Used to have a mark around my neck
You don't know what it's like
to be close to death,
He took my breath
All this water starting coming in
He's my bestest friend.
There's no pretend
He wants me dead...
It's been like that since I was born
(My mom told me the doc almost dropped me on the floor.)
So I'm not just saying it
to say it I mean it when I say it,
Death has been the closes friend
From beginning to my end.
He's always there just waiting
In anticipation I'm pretty sure he's anxious, an ancient soul with more patience and only one goal.

Tenacious, so I won't let go
There's more, so much more
Yes so much more.
So many things I haven't seen before
So many flavors that never touch my tounge, I want it all,
every feeling that touches our skin,
I wanna experience everything
before I ever loosen my grip
Before I take that single breath
Before I lose the spirit we have within
I want see it
Touch it
Smell it
Taste it
And live it all
Death can keep calling but I'm not ready to take that call.
Never have I ever
Is something I never ever wanna say
I want stories I can tell for days
I want passionate moments with truth in them.
I want to much to write down,
But I don't ever want to die, now.
Cause I've already drowned,
only darkness stood around.
When the bump of my heart stopped it's pound.
It wasn't the first time either cause before that I stopped breathing
bad fever.
Even then darkness stood all around
No sense of touch,
thoughts or a single sound...

I'm that one family member everyones worried about, that one person that can make you smile but doesnt ever smile when he comes around.
Anthony Collazo Jul 2019
Like a tub filled with warm water
A beach day during summer
Like hot food when it hits an empty tummy,

Like a razor blade pressed against the skin
A dying flower in need of watering
Like a race that always begins and never ends.

Like love could really last
Like love could really match.
Love has become nothing but lust
It doesn't ever last,
so we keep asking, what's love.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
It all started with a brown bear
Who knew we'd end up here
With a goofy stare,
love is ******* rare.
Especially when you find some one who really cares
Even when you just wanna grab them by their hair.
Wrap it around their neck oops no air.
I love you so much I ******* swear!
I see your face everywhere
I took a **** I saw it there
Didn't flush,
Cause your my ****,
you aint going anywhere.
Only you get to see this *** bare
You take away all my air it's so unfair.
I'm scared of losing you so late at night I'll do a prayer,
Check on you in your night wear
we'd make such a special pair
Love is in the air as I watch you sleep from this chair through the eyes of my brown bear.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
These words are worst than a punch
They'll go through your soul,
Make you lose touch.
Make us think love isn't enough.
I'm so ******* up,
my thoughts have rot,
I'm stuck inside a box,
I climbed into, it was for fun.
Didn't think that I get stuck
Now I'm looking up,
waiting for someone to pull me out.
been a long time now,
I know they won't come
I think love is just a sound
That we make with our mouth.
I love you. yeah me too.
Next week, you're thinking wow.
How could they leave,
a month later you feel relieved.
now deep down you believe
You didn't need anybody
I think it's funny.
The deception of love,
it's imperfect to all.
Still we search for it
like when looking for a jobs,
We're protecting our hearts
Putting up all these walls.
But I promised,
I'd give you my all.
From beginning to end.
But if you're giving your all
why is there an end,
It doesn't make sense.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
It's not a task that will happen overnight,

So just ask if you have the will to fight,

To unite with a light of delight

to incite the word of God that we like

black or white
we're all alike and alive

so lets dive to survive in this world that deprives all our lives,

realized I despised who I was demonized in disguise
til
I opened my eyes saw the lies heard the wise didn't talk or imply didn't hate or deny the great lord in the sky

I did try to apply the ten rules and abide
but
this world's
paralyzed what was once a good guy.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
Try to regulate a better mindset
Before your mind sets
in a place you'll regret
Negative thoughts are a powerful thing especially when the thoughts are constant you have to learn to tackle those thoughts with positively or just change them all together distract the mind whenever a Negative thought enters it.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
It's been 600 days,
since I've seen your face.
Don't really know what words to say
If I ask how you been,
you'll say ok.
Even tho that's a lie
that's over played.
Out of date
It doesn't matter either way,
it's what you say...

I try to make a sentence,
Instead I mumble nonsense
Now I'm feeling anxious
We used to be bestfriends,

Used to be...

We decide to stop,
frequently.
I'm mad at you
or
you're mad at me.

Used to be...

We could say anything freely
without any worry
of judgement or resentment
Now it's just alot of pretending.

Used to be...

You and me
We'd do anything
And everything together
Didn't matter when
Didn't matter who was there,

We were friends.

Like REALLY friends!

We just wanted each others company
Each others help with anything..

We were truly innocent..
Then both of us,
Learned of hatrid,
We became vindictive
no more trust to give

Yeah we'll say
we're best friends
That's the image
everyones used too,

Picture frames from holidays and birthdays... and other occasions...
You're in all of them
I'm in all of it..

How'd the coin ever flip?

Tell me was it our fault
It all crumbled down to bits?

Maybe,
Or it could be
Maybe
Or it should be
Maybe

It would all be,

Alright
If we learned to talk, not fight..

Let our emotions out
Waterfalls might come crashing down

But I'd be proud!

To say I'm sorry out loud,

if it meant I'd keep you around..
We often let pride get in the way of great connections, we hate being wrong so we choose to move on.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
The lord is my pillar
The lord is my home
The lord is a killer
To sins in my dome
The lord is a hero
The lord is a pro
The lord is my saviour
Forgiveness bestowed
The lord is the light
The lord is so bright
The lord you should fear,
stricken with fright!
Can you not hear,
The lord is in sight
The lord is my shield
The lord knows the deal
I'm weak when I kneel
I'm not made of steel
I'm fake but I'm real
I hate when I feel
I can't eat a meal,
I try to conceal
So my pain won't unseal
Or reveal the ordeal
But the lord knows the deal
The lord's all I'll feel
The lord is my reel.
The lord you should praise
The lord do not hate
The lord is our grace
Just stare at your face,
Remember we're great!
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
https://youtu.be/fy9YETB068M


Great song
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Lately I've been losing sleep,
counting sheep ain't helping me
my OCD is killing me,
with late night things,
I barely blink,
cuz all I think.
it's coming soon
It's coming quick
I can not snooze
My eyes will squint
I might doze off, a lil bit.
But that's just it, a lil bit.
It's always just, a lil bit
A lil smidge a lil bit..
It's always just a lil bit.
Read it like a slow song emotional song.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
It always starts with one voice telling you something
then you start to argue with yourself like it's nothing
Acting like it's counseling and you're the counselor of counseling,
This session is a thing that never ends
Cause when the thoughts begin
You're hearing them
Judging and talking bout nothing
Telling you that it means something.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
What's happened to us
We've been falling apart
We used to be like a door and a ****
A curtain and rod
like wine and some cheese
or chips with the dip
Us together,
the perfect of fits.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Be careful who you love
You don't know who they'll become
The person that they are
Can change without alarm.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
Her delicate skin
Her whimsical smile
The thought of her touch,
Well, it drives me wild.

Today is the day,
the day I open my heart
I'll scalpel away,
no care in part.
I'll make her see together it's art.
A hidden treasure
searched in the dark.
Making it so much harder to find,
now that I found it,
forever she's mine.
Ok
Anthony Collazo Jun 2020
Ok
Yah don't know what this pain is like
When you lose your mind
and it's hard to find
A way to escape
too much **** in the way,

no strength or will left to fight

Imma say I'm ok.

Even tho that's a lie

But I know you don't care

Bcoz if you did
you would ask more details,

You just believe what ever I tell.

I could probably say something

Like

I'm living in wealth
I'm drinking
Hennessy paradis
For
breakfast, lunch, dinner

I'm wiping my *** with gold toilet paper hanebisho

it's expensive as hell

I have 10 language teachers
All females,

they all look fine as hell

I have 20 cars and three mansions
With butlers
and maids
and sweet gadgets!

I have every thing you ever wanted,
All folded inside my little pocket
And you'll never touch it

It's too close to my ****..

In reality
I don't got ****
I'm sitting in a boat
it's named Depressed
The people who run this ship
All gave in
Then quit
With a rope or a gun
Or,
even a slit.

I remember the time
I hung by my neck,

I didn't give in,

I kicked then I swinged
orrrrrr
maybe I'm dead?

Maybe that's why it all feels like nothing is right in my head

Maybe I died

Maybe my family walked in that room
And then they all cried,

As my body hung there with no sign of my life


Maybe this is all a weird dream
If you pinch me
I'll scream.

If you kick me I'll grunt

I was built to show love

I was taught to show hate

From the moment I opened my eyes
I have felt out of place,


But I promise

I am ok

I swear it

I am ok

Don't sweat it

I am ok

Forget it

I am ok

Don't worry about what anyone says

I promise

I am ok

Okkkk

Now
everyday might seem a little gray,

But I found a way
to stay out that shady lane

To stop myself from going insane

To stop these thoughts who think of revenge

To stop the urge of killing my friends

For all the gossip,
That I think they're talking

To stop this paranoia and anxiety
From taking over my body

To stop being annoying all the time with

ADHD cuz they think I'm a crack head

I'm skinny

I'm Super,
*******

I go from being mad
to alright
in seconds it's madness

I might be Bipolar
Don't know if I have it
Being in a rage
Has become habit

No one has told me to stop it

No one has told me they'll help me

No one has stretched out their arm yet.


I swear that,

they feel uncomfortable
When you tell them what's really wrong with you
they'll look at you in a different view
Only hit you up when they're bored in their little room from their cellphone,

Like

'Hey how are you.

I'm fine

'Yeah me too

Anything new

'Nope same old same old.

And that's how it goes

The same old

lame o

It's a shame to show pain,

NO
NO NO NO..

That's the only way to be saved
To avoid an early grave
You gotta show all your pain
Then explain
with a chart,

shaped like a black heart
Why you feel this way,

That way no one feels,

they're to blame

when you decide to
blow out your ******* brains

I am not ok!
I am not ok!
I am not ok!

But I promise

That I'm fine
I'm alright
Don't worry about me all the time!!!

I'm ok

I swear it

I am ok

Don't sweat it

I am ok

Forget it

I am ok

Don't worry about what anyone says

I promise

I am ok....




Ok
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I grew up around violence and bad things,
Blood gushing,
broken bones.
People screaming out for help
I swear that is was hell,
But, it also felt like home
it's the place I like to go when I'm alone
All the sins I've done
I should atone
Never will, that's a nope.
Why ask for forgiveness,
when it's never that authentic, no!
When they say that they accept it, soooo.
I rather let my soul just rot with all the thoughts I got about the things I did as a younger kid,
cause I'm still a kid only difference is my age is different but inside I'm still a kid hoping maybe this is it maybe this is the one way to release.
If I ask for forgiveness,
you'd say yes but your eyes don't agree.

I can see they don't agree
I can see they don't like me
I can see it's not the same

I've caused alot pain
Never sat down to explain
Never said,
I'm sorry to your face
Just a text or post,
your reply,
always the same
something,
like it's ok.
It's just a phase we'll make it past this.
It's just the day,
I'm not to certain
When that will be.
But I promise it'll be
just like the old times you and me,
me and you us together stuck like glue
I know that's corny that's the old me you don't see,
You're focused on the misery
all my trickery,
our old history
to solve this injury now that's the mystery,
I'll get all jittery
I'll never have this victory!
Tell me it's not witchery
When you lose your family
Cuz of something bad you did,
They can't forgive even tho they say they did
their eyes speak differently,
It's something you can see
You can't hear it with your ears
Trust your senses,
they are clear...
That family isn't here
They disappeared,
I'll show no tears
even if it means for years
Just know the day we reunite
We'll have a couple beers
have some cheers..
hopefully then..
They are real.
I hope one day true forgiveness can be given bcoz deep down I have a hatrid that I've found.
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I heard growing teaches you
how others feel
I hope it's real
cuz this pain I can not deal
with,
it's too intense
It takes my breath
I'm close to death
It leaves me gasping,
With a pain in chest
My deepest depth
Is like I lost you
But.
You aren't dead
We're just living seperate
With thoughts and memories
we can't forget
I hope you think as much of them
As I do now,
it's no pretend
When you miss someone.
you spent,
your days loving
Holding them,
in the back
of your head
Like a shrine of- remembrance
Remembering
is the thing that hurts most,
it hurts to hurt
I hate to hurt..
broken wing
on a little bird,
I'm that little bird!
the wings a metaphor
My heart's what's really sore!
What's worst is you're the source
Still I want you back of course
Isn't that what love is for.
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
Only you can save you
Reshape you
To get through
All these life loops
All the hula hoop
This life cycles
You can try to run,
It's all circles
Tight ropes
Without a net to catch you.
Teach yourself to fly
No one else will teach it right.
Anthony Collazo Apr 2021
No one listens to our pain
But if we go missing
It would rain,

Thats when they pour in
to come and say,
Great lad
Great gal

We could've stopped it-

you didn't.

We didn't notice-
you did tho.

You just ignored it-
uncomfortable

That's why I'll never be vulnerable!
Until the day I'm ready to let it all go
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
We should throw a party,
Only the antisocial and outcasts are invited.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
My perception of perfection has changed since my adolescent age
least now I know why all the rage takes place,

It's because the way I was raised
For a long time I did not think my life was anything but my life but as I traveled and talked to all kinds of people I learned my way of life was nothing compared to what it could've been if I had the proper guardians I will forever love my family but we are a failing tragedy
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
All these people putting fake smiles in these pics.
Idgaf just let the camera click.
They be scared to let them see who they really is.
So they posting fake images,
No witnesses, no one to snitch
No one to say..
Yo what is this.
Just the likes they're get-ting
the hearts that make em grin,
Makes them feel wanted,
accepted, loved,
oh my god it's all fake it don't mean ****
Especially if you're not the one behind the pic.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
What's the price you're willing to pay for some love,
I've seen many
who give way to much
and don't receive quiet enough.
Is it worth the price they rung up?
Anthony Collazo Feb 2020
You can't stop what I've set in motion
I'm too focused,
might do something accidentally
on purpose...
spike your punch drink
Wait for you to swallow
every droplet.
Then I'll let you know what I did
As your face glows with anger those effects
they will hit.
It's no secret I'm a danger
Been that way since
I was lil kid..
Choke you out
while screaming biih!

Little ******,
But a pyscho on the down low
My whole family always said
visit the doctor,
I would always reply
something like,
um hell no!
They could see all the head trouble
Even tried those pill bottles
Every month in the hospital
Doc's talking to me real
niiiccce and sloooow,
Trying to see if I need any medical
Again I'd scream
Hell no
Only thing I need is that medicinal!

I'd grab his lab coat
No!
I'd grab the stethoscope
Pull him in
Let him know
I'm broken
From head to toe
fractured bones
Child services basically
lived at home,
I hear an imaginary metronome
Late at night I see shadowmen
dancing to the toon.
wait no I mean tone.
or is it tune
I'm in love with the moon
I don't let my tounge touch the spoon,
Why are you looking at me like a lune
Do I look luney?
Don't treat me poorly
I promise only I can hurt me
You might just fuse my angry,

Ohh
seems I squeeze too tight he lost air
I might as well let him go
Pat him down
sit him up
Look at him like,

Hmmm there.

Walk out, then go back in a few weeks with another hair fracture
Hospitals like,
we're running out of doctors
It's this little *******
he keeps saying it was accidental...

Prescribe stronger medicine
the one he's on is weak..

One would scream,
Someone hold this kid
While the other run up like
Here a syringe

*Wait no I'm sorry
I promisssse shhhhit....

Eyes dropped back
Mind got trapped, in a place.
you wouldn't be able to escape
To weak I would say.
Even so
I grew up great
nothing can get in my way.

From my angle
I'm an angel
with a broken halo,
The world focuses on the negative
Like black and grey pics
that haven't been developed,
you know those little strips.
That you save saying one day you'll go to Walgreens photo booth and process them,
but you never do
they just sit there getting old,
Yeah those.

I hope acting cold
makes you feel at home
I hope you get everything you deserve
I hope you try to stop what I've set in motion sooooo........

well you know.
Anthony Collazo Dec 2023
If my life was a movie, it'd be painful to watch
Second hand embarrassment the minute it starts
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I just want to look at this photo
In the future,
knowing the laughs and giggles
weren't just for the picture
Take photos in the moment of happiness, it's far more authentic.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Remember the past we would laugh and play
we were children back then so no struggling days,
we had this picture painted of how things would be
once we were adults we thought we would all be free,
no adult figure to tell us what to do
we couldn't wait to grow up we didn't have a clue,
then we're adults no more children's laughter
thrown into a new world that's filled with disaster,
from racism, stereotypes, and jobs that don't hire
we slowly lose all those childhood desires,
now the canvas where our picture was painted
lays in a corner all ripped, damaged, and tainted,
a new canvas has overtaken its place
where you only see a picture of a distorted face.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2023
I have a different mindset.
I've learned to deal with regrets.
I've learned to heal and breathe in exhaling air with my stress,
just another process,
just another small step
leading to my success..

I would follow prophets
Not understand the message
Even when I doubted,
I was blessed and gifted
Now that I am rising,
I hope the rest get lifted
Look down like ah ****
I hope that Y'all don't miss this
Anthony Collazo Jan 2020
I'll pay the price
So that you may live a good life
Anthony Collazo May 2021
Passing notes in school-
with the hope I don't look too fool -ish.

If I had one wish!
It would be to always have you arms length,
Any more than that,
I'm des-perate,
never met anyone like you
so perfect
Loves worth it,
only if your the person to spend with.

My whole life I've been waiting
for something like this
All my hopes, scream!
you say yesss
Goosebumps running
up and down all my limbs,
Baby you're the only thing
That could make me less huuuu-man

Don't let the things people are
assuuuming

Come between me and your lips
Don't read my book by its cover cause it's covered in loss
I've Breaking pieces off
To give to those who don't have alot
But deep down inside I know your the glue I lack
Pick me up and back on track

All I need is for you to replyyyy back.


By saying
Yes.
I accept you
Yes.
I'll defend you
Yes.
I'll be there for you
Yes.
For everything thing possible
Wrote it like a song idk
Anthony Collazo Jan 2020
I've been trying to catch myself mentally, it's slippery,
call me butterfingers
I swear they're buttery
Always clumsy
kinda flimsy physically
Honestly Imma use honesty
Tell you everything that bothers me
Try to see my imagery,
typically I wouldn't be so willing
To share, everything.
I've had this inability
to speak vocally
The thoughts will stay in my head attacking me critically

On the daily like,

"Oh you should've said this"
"Oh you should've did this"

The other voice says,

"There's too many witnesses
he's innocent a ******* citizen he's not worth the loss of your innocence,
it's common sense"

"BUT
if he hits first it's self defense
let it rip, open him up like a Christmas gift
Do it quick,
don't you miss
cause if you miss
It's self defence,
the coin will flip.
See the difference is you do it quick.
Two story tales won't collaborate"

"You still forget the obvious,
the witnesses"

"Oh right the witnesses, what you do is wait for them to be at a distance, then"

All this cause I can not stand disrespect
So my voices they've been making sense
Everyday it's the same old script
Best thing I can tell you is,

listen to them.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
I act selfish
I can't help it
I'm never sharing,
Nope not time yet.
Cloaked in madness
I act selfless
So when you ask
How am I doing,
I don't share.
My true feelings.
Anthony Collazo Feb 2020
I've been a serpent
Waking up now to cause some torment,
I've been dormant
waiting for the perfect moment
Look at me
I managed growing
The path I walked would leave you damaged
hopeless.

I look around and notice
I can create savage moments
Jars full of secrets
I have a list of people who love me
but hate to know it
They hate to show it
I'll probably die by the hand of someone I grew up knowing
I've done a lot of things
I knew I shouldn't
only to turn around to say,
no I didn't.

It's not ok,

To keep myself hidden.
I'm stepping out to the open
Let yah know

I'm a demon
A bad omen

Honestly,

I rather die young then grow
to be some old man
weak from cold wind
with shakey hands
His knees can't hold him

I love to walk,

If I'm not killed
I'll take my own then
It's ok,
remember
reflect
Then judge
friends.

It's no pretend
I've been an *******
Yet loveable
attainable for favors
the clown in the room
I ain't never been a hater,
I ain't never changed behavior.
Growing means you learn from the mistakes you make,
no?


Don't confuse my anger or attitude
With a reflection
of what you would do,
I am not you.  
Nor will I ever want to be
I'm a prodigy
One of a kind that you'll see
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
It was an ordinary day just like any other day, the same routine as always. Except today wasn't.
I was walking on my way to school it was a nice day the sun was bright and there was this cool wind that kept you at just the right temperature.
As I was look up walking down the street the smell of burning wood hits my nose, I take my eyes away from the sky and begin to look around then I notice it. A burning building with a group of people gathered outside it was at the end of a no entry street. I ran over out of curiosity I've never seen a fire so big, so I didn't get to close. I noticed this lady crying and yelling something, once I made out what she was saying my heart dropped, she was yelling that there was a group of kids still in there. The teacher watching them hasn't been seen either so its assumed she's still in there too. We lived in a town where firetrucks weren't a few minutes away everyone knew with the size of the fire there was no way they'd make it out. I decided I had to be a hero at this moment. I ran over to a small street stand and bought a water bottle the cashier was smug enough to say, one bottle isn't enough for that fire. I didn't find it amusing maybe he was just trying to sell more bottles but it felt more like a smart pun. I took my shirt off and pour all the water over it then I wrapped the shirt around my face hoping maybe it would stop any smoke from coming into my lungs, that's when I ran into this burning building.
A building I've never entered before... at this moment I had no idea where I was going but the lady said they were on the first floor, it shouldn't be to hard to find them right? The heat of the fire was intense I was sweating the minute I entered, it felt like I was being cooked alive, I thought maybe I should've bought more waters to pour over myself, too late to go back now. As I'm making my way past burning rooms, it looked like a daycare or something, I hear the screams of kids. Yes! I found them! I was excited but came to realize a beam was blocking the only path out, I didn't know what to do. The rest of the path was a clear run through just hot and dangerous, of course but it was a clear run. How do I move this beam? I couldn't just let them die. I was already here, I was already inside the building looking at their frightened faces. I had to man up, shirtless I leaned in and grabbed the beam with my bare hands I let out an agonizing scream. My hands were already blistering, my flesh turning red and peeling off. I couldn't let go, I gave it all I had while in this incredible pain I've never felt. Just a little more, I thought to myself as I let out one last grunting push to move the beam. The kids, still frightened and confused didn't know what to do to. I was in pain, I didn't have any energy left in me. My shirt was dry from the heat, I was already inhaling smoke, so I just yelled run! So we all ran straight down this burning hallway. My body was in so much pain, my arms felt so weak and heavy, my legs began to drag. The exit was so close...

to be continued.
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
It's depressing
to live in a world that's broken
and infected with so much hatrid
Anthony Collazo Sep 2021
Don't lose sight of the things that you need when you're faced with the things that you want

Cause the greed is like a wreath
It looks pretty but a loops all you see
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
Do you remember those days when we were young and naive where we would believe anything said by anybody.
Those days of innocence,
we didn't really know things
It seems the second you learn new lessons you start to view life in a different image.
As if we're so alike,
we're not different.
You lose trust once,
then it seems like you can never give it.
We've exchanged our imagination and vivid imagery with thoughts of hate and jealousy giving up on creativity because now we don't just believe what's said, we live in it. We took those words of advice for granted thinking we had our two feet planted thinking this world can't stop me, now we're damaged.
So do you remember those days?
Where our parents paid for our freedom while we played with our best friends.
While we enjoyed and basked in the life that was given, now those words of advice are returning,
All those lectures and times you were told things. You thought you had it figured it out like you know what life was when you've barely been living.
Now reflect on what happens every day ask yourself where's the fun and time to play, oh right that's every weekend Friday Saturday, sometimes Sunday.
Every other moment your a slave,
You just don't see the chains..
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
If I could sleep with my words

I would

I'd cuddle them nice and good

Lay in a bed of words
The pillow the frame and all
Let them surround me whole

Four walls will make the room
Each side a different mood

One side of cheer and laughs
One side of pain and nags
One side of goals and wants
One side that hates and taunts

This room is where I'll lay
Whenever I'm astray
Heart ache any type of pain
This is where I'll go
To give rest to my soul

So even if I'm lost

One thing I've always known
I'm not alone
when I lay down with my poems
Do you lay in bed while writing poems I know I do.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Here we go another day,
with a smile on my face
I cant seem to replace
even tho the grinnings fake
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