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Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain

These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to at the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage.

you're my tree
shed your pain upon me
Every leaf, a release
of your stress and your needs
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you I can't breathe.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head,

I'll fall.

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think...
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I...

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing people pretend they're ok.

I can see past their flesh.
I can see past their lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life.
Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain
These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage
I can't breathe. You're my tree
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you, there's no me.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head
I'll fall..

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think..
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing the same people act like they're ok .

I can see past your flesh.
I can see past your lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life

Mister sweet heart,
mommas little angel, but down deep, they know I was danger.

The therapy
psychiatry
the medicine
The punishments
the lack of love filled with neglect
The hungry days won't go away
This messy home where I was raised
The secrets that I'll take to grave
With ****** hands, my soul,
the price I'd have to pay..

For all the sins I committed for being raised without proper supervision

Like a disease, I spread my infection. Who knows how many lives I've affected for having such selfish intentions.

This guilt
A collection,
it builds with suspension.
All a child needs is protection.
This reflection only shows my rejection and the holes never filled with affection,

I suppose this is why I'm different
This is why I don't fit in
This is why I don't want this
This life keeps me haunted with the past

I should've died on that rope.

Or under that truck on the road,

I should've died when I got in that car with that guy I didn't know
But God had other goals,

So that day, it poured rain as I ran home, and the blood stain washed away from my clothes,
I'm alive, but the price is my soul
Take a life, and that's how it goes.

That pocket knife was lunged in his throat!
wide eyes as he made ****** jokes.
I chose my life, but I lost all my hope

But the second his hand reached my thigh,

I didn't think twice, my trust, my pride he overstepped that line.
I'm not fine. I've never been,

The fear in his eyes I was feeling it

But that's life,
the fear of never wanting to die.
While fighting to prove you're alive.
Anthony Collazo May 2022
Dear God,

it's been a while since I've spoken to you 2015 I was all about you
posted online all these poems about you
Then I changed minds,
a very wrong move.
I've been defined as heartless and rude
I've undermined the power in you
I lost my faith
I lost my hope,
Fell on my face,
my heart had broke.

I can't retrace the steps that I take.

Like a foot print in the snow
You can't back track it won't be the same
The pattern would look all weird and strange
I've tried my best to behave
All on my own it's not the same
You gave me strength I gave you faith
I lost myself and changed my ways
Invoked the Devil to come and play
Now I ask my soul you save
Before the bells ring and sway....

I know I'm better than yesterday.
Anthony Collazo Apr 2022
Everything is always about conflict
If there isn't conflict,

then there is no profit
Anthony Collazo Jan 2022
A word is a word and a noise is a noise

But as I'm reading these words I'm hearing no noise,

Who decides what words will mean

Who decides what noises sing

Who is right if all are wrong
Who is weak if all are strong
    Who is bad if all are good

Who would change
the world's broke view,

If given all what would you do

Everything you want is all in you

Everything you need you have it too

The desire of others
will blind your view,

Remember the blessing
not the lessons

Remember that stressing
isn't heaven

Remember the child
you once were

Remember the joy and freedom
we died for.
Once we became adults our inner child died with our freedom
Anthony Collazo Jan 2022
Indulged by the fragrant smell
                       of
           her
bleach blonde hair

            At halt with a vacant stare,
                          Beneath

              A snaring glare
        A dare to share
  A stalk to hang,

        hidden deep behind a vacant stare
                   He hides no shame

     She'll notice his eyes at gaze

           She'll think him sane..

         Right of mind
                 but
       bad at thought

   Late one night she's left to rot

     Out of sight a special spot

          Bring the knives to form a plot,

  Flower beds so no ones caught

        Bring forth joy with every strife
               Bring forth joy to take a life.

          Evil smiles when evil works

           Evil smiles when evil hurts
            
Evil smiles when evil lurks

      Evil's
lust lays in the dirt
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
Every step is like a brick



With a lesson behind it



And every brick that you lay



Builds fortune for better days
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