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651 · Sep 2019
No rest
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Lately I've been losing sleep,
counting sheep ain't helping me
my OCD is killing me,
with late night things,
I barely blink,
cuz all I think.
it's coming soon
It's coming quick
I can not snooze
My eyes will squint
I might doze off, a lil bit.
But that's just it, a lil bit.
It's always just, a lil bit
A lil smidge a lil bit..
It's always just a lil bit.
Read it like a slow song emotional song.
632 · Oct 2019
Real
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I just want to look at this photo
In the future,
knowing the laughs and giggles
weren't just for the picture
Take photos in the moment of happiness, it's far more authentic.
632 · Aug 2020
Forget the pain
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
May the mind of the broken rest
in the pond of forgets
where the past chains break free
from the pillars of regret
We often allow our selves to be overwhelmed with things that have long passed remember the lesson that it brought but realease all the stressing that is done
480 · Oct 2020
Would you
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
If I jumped would you watch me
If I'd fall would you catch me
If I'm sad would you hug me
If I'm mad you won't touch me

Every moment I think carefully
Then I see you walk around carelessly
I wonder if your love would match that of mine
I wonder if you are the other half I'm supposed to find

But then I wonder what would you do
If I fell for you, if you saw me sad would you hug me too and if I get mad would you see us through
I'd jump at the chance to know the truth
369 · Aug 2020
Sleeping with my words
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
If I could sleep with my words

I would

I'd cuddle them nice and good

Lay in a bed of words
The pillow the frame and all
Let them surround me whole

Four walls will make the room
Each side a different mood

One side of cheer and laughs
One side of pain and nags
One side of goals and wants
One side that hates and taunts

This room is where I'll lay
Whenever I'm astray
Heart ache any type of pain
This is where I'll go
To give rest to my soul

So even if I'm lost

One thing I've always known
I'm not alone
when I lay down with my poems
Do you lay in bed while writing poems I know I do.
338 · Jun 25
Don't
Do not let what others think of you become what you think of yourself
Read it again.
334 · Oct 2020
I'm bitter I mean better
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
You'll never be better than anyone by trying to be better than everyone only when you're better than yourself will you be better.
327 · Oct 2019
Happy
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I wanna see you sooo happy,
That it makes me happy.
292 · Oct 13
Authenticity
I'd cry
but I've tried

Forcing tears,

out My eyes

Yet

it never feels authentic

Always feels,

pretended

Emotions
are
expected

Then I..

project them,


But it never feels authentic
You might say I'm pathetic
Just a charlatan
who plays a part
when expected
275 · Sep 10
Sight
Don't lose sight of the things that you need when you're faced with the things that you want

Cause the greed is like a wreath
It looks pretty but a loops all you see
275 · Oct 9
I write music
Desperate times,

Call for

despair in rhymes
I like writing music and in one of my sad songs this line stands out the best bcoz as a writer it couldn't be quoted any better
265 · Aug 2019
What is
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
What is life for,
If not to be the person you are.
What he die for,
Leaving us cursed from beyond.
What is love for,
If people just quit and give up.
What is worth more,
The peace or the thought it exist.
230 · Jan 17
The wounded
Ignore the ignorance of the ignorant let them keep bickering,
They speak of illiterate,
They see a vigorous factor and try to tear down the foundations it postures.
Snickering like children's laughter
They're all lost and know not what there after,
Use a belligerent tone
Articulate the words and make whats yours be owned,
Act like you do when alone
Do not let fake attributes insert your fragile dome.
218 · Jun 2019
My lord
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
The lord is my pillar
The lord is my home
The lord is a killer
To sins in my dome
The lord is a hero
The lord is a pro
The lord is my saviour
Forgiveness bestowed
The lord is the light
The lord is so bright
The lord you should fear,
stricken with fright!
Can you not hear,
The lord is in sight
The lord is my shield
The lord knows the deal
I'm weak when I kneel
I'm not made of steel
I'm fake but I'm real
I hate when I feel
I can't eat a meal,
I try to conceal
So my pain won't unseal
Or reveal the ordeal
But the lord knows the deal
The lord's all I'll feel
The lord is my reel.
The lord you should praise
The lord do not hate
The lord is our grace
Just stare at your face,
Remember we're great!
211 · Sep 2019
Party time
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
We should throw a party,
Only the antisocial and outcasts are invited.
202 · Aug 22
Tick tock
We used to talk every weekend

Now I'm drinking and smoking til the week ends

It doesn't make sense

Cause back then we were bestfriends

You were the one,

I would tell everything too
Now we can't be in the same room

One wrong move..


Everything goes boom!

You were a bomb strapped to my chest

I gave you my best

but the clock was ticking
I didn't know it

I didn't know yet

Til the bomb went
BOOM!!

You blew me to bits

Surrounded by fumes of what could've been.

I sit here and think

what did I do
Like the problems not you.
190 · Dec 2019
I write
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I write poems
I write poetry
I write songs
I write love stories
I write dark
I write alot
I write my thoughts
I write,

so it doesn't become an act.
185 · Aug 2019
Selfish
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
I act selfish
I can't help it
I'm never sharing,
Nope not time yet.
Cloaked in madness
I act selfless
So when you ask
How am I doing,
I don't share.
My true feelings.
182 · Aug 22
Untitled
dont think that this version of self

Means that the curtains have fell

Certain things can lead you to hell

Be assertive,

knowing all ends well.

The surface has air.
177 · Sep 7
I'm allowed
Sometimes i gotta remind myself..

I'm allowed to be loved

I'm allowed to be free

I'm allowed to be happy

I'm allowed to be me.
175 · Dec 2019
Back stabbers tune
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I'm gon'
leave a ****** trail
towards a well
With a funky smell
Covered in larvae infested shells
That dwell the flies of hell's demise
A swell of lives,
husband and wives
Like Edward's hands
I'm full of knives.
There's no surprise
When you yell why!
Insert like coins,
in your backside...

So in other words,
I'm a backstabber.
173 · Apr 2016
broken
Anthony Collazo Apr 2016
Can't u see that I'm broken inside the exterior shows it all I have nothing to hide,
Still I feel like this picture isn't drawn clearer cuz I'm yelling inside and no one can hear me,
No one can hear the screaming in here its just me and my shadowing fears,
Shadowing fears that drown me in sorrow always have me wondering if there is a tomorrow,
A tomorrow where I can pick up my broken pieces and see the lessons this life teaches,
Bcuz this life teaches so many wonderful things only u can choose what to do with the will within,
The will within all of us which we control some of us forget how and loosen the grip we hold,
The grip we hold that helps u move forward and those who lose it eventually get cornered.
159 · Aug 2019
Give me
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Give me back the day of no stress
The days where every moment was adventurous
Give me the time where riding my bike was my life,
Give me that adrenaline that you get,
Cuz I've been missing it,
reliving it,
talking about the things we did.
day dreaming bout when I was a kid.
153 · Jun 11
T.O.H.Y.W.T.B.T
I treat others
how they treat me
so if you don't like the treatment
well then treat me better/
or we'll,
all act bitter

Ruin every get together
You can not handle the pressure

You are too tender,
tethered with an aggressor

God's our possessor
at the end of the day

life's an adventure
I won't surrender.
Treat others how you want to be treated
147 · Apr 2016
blind men walking
Anthony Collazo Apr 2016
Like a blind man I walk on this path slowly,
wondering about this and that and trying to stay holy,
But in this world its hard to remain pure of heart,
Because there are so many things that can tear us apart,  
A word has no meaning until you put it there,
but we are so blinded by our assumptions and hate to be aware,
So we keep creating the cracks in the system,
no matter the strength of the ground it eventually sinks in,
Because nothing is forever not even that safety that you feel,
as you hide behind of what you believe to be real,
you wouldn't add black to a colorful rainbow,
and you wouldn't add horns to a beautiful angel,
But you can treat your family members like complete strangers,
something is wrong and we don't see the dangers,
Maybe when we awake from our dream, we will see how things really are, compared to how they seem.
145 · Mar 25
Thanks G
Today I woke up. Thanks.
137 · Sep 30
Flames
Compassion over wealth

Not

wealth over health,

this world is going to hell

Burning is all I smell.
136 · Jun 2020
Sue eh cide
Anthony Collazo Jun 2020
Great patience
surrounded by great hatrid
Can't take this
might just slit a wrist then take a lick
131 · Sep 2019
?
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
?
Why can't we just treat each other how we want to be treated, why do people have to be so... ___
Fill in the blanks
126 · Oct 2019
The voices
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
A dark night
without any moonlight
No street lamps that shine bright
Only nothingness,

A will to fight, yeah..
The taste of judgement
This feeling you're different
You'll never fit in.

Acceptance,
It's been the only thing you've
Ever wanted,
At arms length
But even then you barely grasp it.

These thoughts
come into your head
They starting talking,
Making you wonder.
Making you doubtful,
Making it hurt more
Making it hurt more

Nobody wants this darkness
Nobody wants this loneliness
Hopelessness,
cry to sleep
Still you're restless
Your chest it hurts
when your breathing,
is out of control.
You're gasping!

Like you're drowning in tears,
Everytime you know it's coming
You feel a little bit of fear,
Coz you know
even tho it makes you feel good
Just a little,
to let it all go.
That darkness and those voices
Don't ever let go.

It happens with friends and family
Maybe you walk by some people who laugh and you wonder what's funny..
Feel a little uncomfortable,
Sooo,
you keep yourself in this little bubble.
Thinking if you don't let anyone near,
You'll never have to fear,
The judgment,
gossip,
The hatrid
nonsense,
The critics.
The ones that are plastic
The back stabbers
The users, abusers
Accusers of nothing
The. ...
STOP IT!!!

We're talking to the voices now,
Didn't you know?
This whole poem was the conversation
We all have alone..

Coz even when it's your bestfriend
or family members
That little voice in your head makes
You wonder the stupidest things.
123 · Jul 8
Cry
Cry
As a man it's perfectly fine to cry,

our emotions don't die with age

they are buried under pain and rage.
121 · Sep 2019
The mirror
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I don't like what I'm noticing
it's my reflection,
I'm smirking
But I see he's hurting.
So many imperfections
So much agression
So scared of rejection
Is that a slight hint of depression
Maybe it's time this kid accepts it acceptance is something he aint never getting rejection is his best friend.
116 · Oct 2019
Test
111 · Oct 2019
My best-ex-friend
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
It's been 600 days,
since I've seen your face.
Don't really know what words to say
If I ask how you been,
you'll say ok.
Even tho that's a lie
that's over played.
Out of date
It doesn't matter either way,
it's what you say...

I try to make a sentence,
Instead I mumble nonsense
Now I'm feeling anxious
We used to be bestfriends,

Used to be...

We decide to stop,
frequently.
I'm mad at you
or
you're mad at me.

Used to be...

We could say anything freely
without any worry
of judgement or resentment
Now it's just alot of pretending.

Used to be...

You and me
We'd do anything
And everything together
Didn't matter when
Didn't matter who was there,

We were friends.

Like REALLY friends!

We just wanted each others company
Each others help with anything..

We were truly innocent..
Then both of us,
Learned of hatrid,
We became vindictive
no more trust to give

Yeah we'll say
we're best friends
That's the image
everyones used too,

Picture frames from holidays and birthdays... and other occasions...
You're in all of them
I'm in all of it..

How'd the coin ever flip?

Tell me was it our fault
It all crumbled down to bits?

Maybe,
Or it could be
Maybe
Or it should be
Maybe

It would all be,

Alright
If we learned to talk, not fight..

Let our emotions out
Waterfalls might come crashing down

But I'd be proud!

To say I'm sorry out loud,

if it meant I'd keep you around..
We often let pride get in the way of great connections, we hate being wrong so we choose to move on.
110 · Jun 20
HFD
HFD
Happy Father's day
106 · Aug 2019
Smiles
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Here we go another day,
with a smile on my face
I cant seem to replace
even tho the grinnings fake
93 · Aug 2019
Idk
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Idk
I got everything I could ask for,
N- even then I want more,
Is it selfish, am I heartless.
Could I be someone I impress.
Coz lately,
I ain't liking my image..
85 · Aug 2019
Kid's.. A blessing?
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
It's hard to watch them grow up,
Knowing all the bad stuff,
Knowing that their soul,
will be ripped apart.
What's the goal,
why'd Noah make the ark,
Tell me
was this world really worth saving,
I think not.
Every human is fake or rot,
Don't tell me,
that you're not
I've seen it all,
I know what you got,
To offer,
its awful.
I hate you,
it's bottled.
I've play the game
since I was 5,
I'd played with it.
I don't believe words
I need evidence
I think I'm cursed..
Due to my relationships.
They say having kids,
is a blessing,
To me its just a lesson
we keep forgetting
He showed us innocence
Yet we re-molded it
Into our own images,
This isn't what it's meant
When having kids.
You're supposed to show what the struggle is
let them know how you were suffering let them see life for what it really is,
after you show em all,
Tell em, don't be like me
cause you're unique
the way you are the way you speak
That innocence has long left me.
Teach them their heros...
Didn't get far,
living in the same homes
Wearing all the same clothes
Driving around,
with the same car.
Snorting stuff up their nose
Smoking blunts to feel good
Drinking drugs, changing moods,
**** it...
this world is hateful
I should've thought
twice before I had you.
Bringing life into a hell
That's filled with a plagued view..
If only I knew it wouldn't change you.
Maybe then I wouldn't feel the way I do..
I don't know what the future holds,
And that's all I know,
Or is it I don't.
82 · Aug 2019
Photo shopped
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
All these people putting fake smiles in these pics.
Idgaf just let the camera click.
They be scared to let them see who they really is.
So they posting fake images,
No witnesses, no one to snitch
No one to say..
Yo what is this.
Just the likes they're get-ting
the hearts that make em grin,
Makes them feel wanted,
accepted, loved,
oh my god it's all fake it don't mean ****
Especially if you're not the one behind the pic.
81 · Jul 2019
Like
Anthony Collazo Jul 2019
Like a tub filled with warm water
A beach day during summer
Like hot food when it hits an empty tummy,

Like a razor blade pressed against the skin
A dying flower in need of watering
Like a race that always begins and never ends.

Like love could really last
Like love could really match.
Love has become nothing but lust
It doesn't ever last,
so we keep asking, what's love.
81 · Feb 2020
Pyschos promise
Anthony Collazo Feb 2020
You can't stop what I've set in motion
I'm too focused,
might do something accidentally
on purpose...
spike your punch drink
Wait for you to swallow
every droplet.
Then I'll let you know what I did
As your face glows with anger those effects
they will hit.
It's no secret I'm a danger
Been that way since
I was lil kid..
Choke you out
while screaming biih!

Little ******,
But a pyscho on the down low
My whole family always said
visit the doctor,
I would always reply
something like,
um hell no!
They could see all the head trouble
Even tried those pill bottles
Every month in the hospital
Doc's talking to me real
niiiccce and sloooow,
Trying to see if I need any medical
Again I'd scream
Hell no
Only thing I need is that medicinal!

I'd grab his lab coat
No!
I'd grab the stethoscope
Pull him in
Let him know
I'm broken
From head to toe
fractured bones
Child services basically
lived at home,
I hear an imaginary metronome
Late at night I see shadowmen
dancing to the toon.
wait no I mean tone.
or is it tune
I'm in love with the moon
I don't let my tounge touch the spoon,
Why are you looking at me like a lune
Do I look luney?
Don't treat me poorly
I promise only I can hurt me
You might just fuse my angry,

Ohh
seems I squeeze too tight he lost air
I might as well let him go
Pat him down
sit him up
Look at him like,

Hmmm there.

Walk out, then go back in a few weeks with another hair fracture
Hospitals like,
we're running out of doctors
It's this little *******
he keeps saying it was accidental...

Prescribe stronger medicine
the one he's on is weak..

One would scream,
Someone hold this kid
While the other run up like
Here a syringe

*Wait no I'm sorry
I promisssse shhhhit....

Eyes dropped back
Mind got trapped, in a place.
you wouldn't be able to escape
To weak I would say.
Even so
I grew up great
nothing can get in my way.

From my angle
I'm an angel
with a broken halo,
The world focuses on the negative
Like black and grey pics
that haven't been developed,
you know those little strips.
That you save saying one day you'll go to Walgreens photo booth and process them,
but you never do
they just sit there getting old,
Yeah those.

I hope acting cold
makes you feel at home
I hope you get everything you deserve
I hope you try to stop what I've set in motion sooooo........

well you know.
78 · Oct 2019
Just talking
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I feel like my mind has more than one writer, I review my writing and see so many differences, it's strange. Perhaps I have another personality I dont know about. It takes over and writes heartfelt things, then I come to write nonsense LOL.
77 · Jan 2020
Untitled
Anthony Collazo Jan 2020
One day you'll understand why
As we both cry
76 · Mar 2020
Change
Anthony Collazo Mar 2020
Terrorized with what you see
in your eyes
no surprise
It's why you hate your life all the timeeeeeee!!!
All the timeeeee!!!
All the timeeeee!
Why you hate yo life
All the timeeeee?
You can change and be alrighttt..
With yo lifee
with yo lifee
just change yo life
You'll be alright,
You gotta
gotta
gotta
take a step
Don't look back,
No Regrets
Don't forget
Be the threat
Make them sweat
Be the jet
Close the set
No reset
Better than what you were,
Now reflect.

this the time for change
breaks those chains,
what is shame?
show them pain
show them everything no restraints
I'ma pour out my brains

No heart?
it's strange.

been like that since day one,

One day!

I'ma have money saved up
I'ma buy luxury items
I'ma be called King
Amongst other things
I'ma make my family filthy rich
No one will ever have to work for ****..

This is the dream
I am the key
the door is right in front of me
so what will it be,
My hand is trembling
An addicts worst bestfriend.
More scared than I've ever been
Fear means something is differ-rent
Cause we fear the differ-rence
lost in a comfort bubble of giving in..
I'm done giving up
Cement hasn't hardened
who's stuck?
The glue hasn't dried
So run
Just run
runnn run!

Everytime my emotions build up
inside of me I would run until everything was hurting me
til I got the side pain
I exploited it
I used that pain
to get away from the heartache..
We all find a way
I don't ever wanna hear you say
you can't change.
74 · Aug 2019
Hoping
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Come to me for you closure,
You know that when I'm closer
The winds blow a little softer.
The weather gets a lot better,
Tell me that,
I'm what you're after.
I've been set up,
with some disasters.
You wouldn't believe the aftermath
A destructed path..
The pain I felt it was so bad.
The worst gift I'd ever have..
A black box, with a black bow,
I opened it fast,
Cause I didn't know
The bulshit it had,
Even after closing it up
It was expose to my soul,
Now It has a dark little spot..
the brightness you got I feel
It might make it glow,
So ask me to stay don't tell me to go.
Tell me if we got something special or no?
71 · Sep 2019
The past
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Never learn what I did.
Ten fingers can't every sin,
Can't count everything that I did as kid
Do you think to forgive that you need to re-live the experience again,
to go back to a place you don't wanna face
retrace every step of the hurt and the pain,
remind yourself why you went through the change.
Then ask yourself was it worth it..... Today.
71 · Aug 2019
No title
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Be careful who you love
You don't know who they'll become
The person that they are
Can change without alarm.
70 · Nov 2019
Don't share-Don't dare
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
It's no ones business what you put in your system
if you wanna be an addict,
great be an addict in silence
don't hype it up making these young kids try it.
I hate what music's become
I hate what people have done
Trying all these things they hear in the songs
Telling me no it isn't that wrong
Everyone does it, come just give up.
Let go of your senses
let's try some non sense
Perks,
pink drinks,
Heated spoons
Acid, angel dust
All of it's,
straight garbage!

In melody /they say it's harmless
A remedy /that can fix all this
Secretly /it causes damage
Destroying all your organs
Seeping you of the youth
That God gives
Don't share don't dare
Don't share your business
Don't dare try drugs they'll change you forever
69 · Jun 2019
No title.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
Her delicate skin
Her whimsical smile
The thought of her touch,
Well, it drove me wild.

Today is the day,
the day I open my heart
I'll scalpel away,
no care in part.
I'll make her see together it's art.
A hidden treasure
searched in the dark.
Making it so much harder to find,
now that I found it,
forever she's mine.
68 · Mar 2020
Faith is not dead?
Anthony Collazo Mar 2020
He looked up with a tear in his eye
asking why,
as we often do when facing a moment of hardship.
He wanted to know why he was
the way he is,
what was the purpose?
Why would the lord allow him
to see the thoughts of others
To sense the presence of evil.
Yet having the inability to do anything
With it because if he expresses his
gift/cursed; If he were to let anyone know, they would leave. He knows this to be true, for he has tried to befriend those who knew and they would only wander further away from his grace.

Therefore he asks,

Why?
So many negative thoughts
So much hate so much anger
A relentless amount of sadness
Shielded by a great wall of pride.

Why show a man everything.

Why give a man a shield with no sword and throw him against fierce dragons that breath fire, why let a man be haunted with the visions he sees in the minds of all others..

What purpose does this serve him
what lesson is there to be learned.
How could he ever keep those thoughts at bay.

He would tried everything
even if it meant it had to be done in sin,
the man was overwhelmed with this gift.
He felt the thoughts becoming his own, his heart was now tainted he could feel the black stain that had taken refuge inside.
All he truly wanted was peace of mind,
The hardest thing to find in this plain and he knows it to be true for he has seen the thoughts of so many surely it was plenty, He has yet to find a mind filled with peace, even those who praise God and speak on his behalf raising certainties out of despair and telling us the voice in the sky cares,
even those poor beaten souls had darkness surrounding their weak feeble minds
How can a man born into sin forged by sin only to be raised by sin surrounded by sin everyday, how can this man overcome the demons
how can he overcome the voices
how can he be the pillar that the lord expects him to be..
His counsel never sought
his appeal full of rot
Can the lord honestly say
it's the man who forgot..

Of course, see in his mind in his grace he sees a planet full of free will
a planet filled with everything we could possibly need a planet that was made for those who fought bravely in the holy grail war a planet for everyone to be humble...

He didn't except the free will to be used the way it has been used for centuries only to satisfy your own selfish needs only to help you get to where you need.

We all have a conscious that tells us it's wrong, why do it
We all have a conscious that tells us when someone is need of a hug,
You don't do it why

We all have a conscious that let's us see as clear as day and as bright as the sun the pain our words can cause the recieving end
why'd you say that?

Why allow rage to overcome common sense, where does it end.

Tell me does treating other people poorly really help you sleep at night does it give you any type of inner peace does it bring the lord closer to your heart? Or does it only fuel the hate that spreads like a blaze out in a dry forest
Where beauty once laid

You can be as appealing to world
as you think you should
follow everything that's publicize by fake news let the celebrities tell you
What to do, only to be left empty
Searching for a way to find that missing mood
you'll see the clues you'll know exactly what you need to do.
But you never do
Why force yourself to live
with ill contempt
allow yourself to give in with no consent
allow yourself to lose the closes friends
Was your pride really more important than all of them
Why allow yourself to wake only to think "Yup this is it".

This isn't how it was intended

Why do you keep pretending

Preventing any help that's ever offered

from taking a step in

Is pride really worth all of it
Is pride really worth losing it
Your own self esteem and confidence
If You think you're confident
you're not
you're just ignorant
living thinking that you know everything
You don't even know how to live

This

Is

Not

The

End
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