Her soft eyes filled with rage and hate

Her light mind allowed darkness in

In due time she'll lose her sense

Its alright,
she'll thinks it is.

Of mankind woman are frail

They're unhinged probably from hell

Don't believe off of one's tale...

Of mankind
the men

vermin

They sell
they make
they keep
exploring

A thing a place
even
a
person

They have no limits
Their minds are broken
A flute that plays hells words unspoken..

Chained against a wall,

her soft eyes filled with hate for all that crawl

The vermin came
A round of turns
Her only thought for them to burn

A loosened ***** would surely help
A sharpened tool would make them yell.

Her eyes were soft her mind was strong they thought her frail but they were wrong,

A woman holds a life inside

no man can shoulder no higher pride
A land of pigs a different sty

The next to come will surely die

She does not plan to run away

But to slay the men that choose to lay

Against her will and make her say

Make her feel unnatural ways

One by one the men takes turn

Down a hall into a room

Thinking that the previous left

They walk inside to meet their death.

What kind of future do you want, hmm.
I can't really get a thought, thruuu.
Wondering what direction I'll go, too....


There's no proof..
on how to live

We just copy other men
Other trends..

others might just
accept us in,
if we pretend

Hiding our pain under false pretense
But the music in the back ground
It plays suspense,

You're smiling in public but the pains sunked in

You're drunk in addiction and bad habits

You're stuck with an anger
you've had since a kid...


Sad little outcast stuck in a frame with alot of bad contrast harassed with no shame,

Leyfred is my past.

let it be 87 again

Before I was born into a world full of sin,

when my eyes didn't analyze
every moment I live,

Wondering,
what if

again and again
And again
And again!!

And the gain,

is a pain an invisible weight
without a restraint

And to hate is a shame,
everyone's just
trying to live

To compete is the same,
It's always better to give

Understanding instead of trying to argue and fight over things,


Comprehending...

we're all human beings,

Trying to rise up above evil doings.....


Every struggle you face
Is preparation for the future that's paved

Everything that you say
could be heard out of context,

Then exploited in ways

That would lead all astray

Never feel the need to explain

This life is all staged
Everyone plays the same game,

So make sure your batteries are charged

It goes on for decades..

Some sellout,

some never change,

Some evolve,

Some are just strange,

Some are lost

Some are the same..


Son of God

That's who I am...

I remember the first time I saw the shadow of smoke

I stood in a playpen

while the adults made jokes

They laughed so strangely

With coughing involved

I wondered vaguely.

The fun in it all

The second time I saw the shadow of smoke

I think I was,
about nine years old

As I walked down a big ol hill,

A motor bike flew by
the man was killed.

The passersby gasped and yelled

Broken pieces were every where

But my eyes would only stare at the  shadow smoke that lingered there.

It had such a glimmer without the glare..

The way it danced and swayed with air

How it grew,
unfurled
without a care..

A devastating loss, yes.
Life is unfair.

The third time I saw the shadow of smoke

I was playing outside,
Oh the teenage life

We thought we knew it all
We were always right...

These wires sparked!
They hit a tree,
stuck on the bark

With a little breeze,
it was fall,
so dried out leaves

The sight was something I couldn't leave
Even tho my younger brother pulled on my sleeve..

It was our fault the shadow smoke lost control,

But I wanted to watch the glory glow.

The fourth time I saw the shadow of smoke,

It was pretty late I was out at work

The type of job where the boss is a ****,

We all had bills, a salty perk.

The day was gloomy dark filled with danger

Yet I knew,
I was no stranger..

Offered by the hand of another man

There it was,

the creator

that leaves us dammed.

Rather than deny the holy lie

I puckered my lips and let it inside.

A harsh yet soothing taste
a cough,
with a red face.
They laughed, like it's a game.

So I locked them up and walked away

I could hear them screaming my name

So I looked back at my display,
The world will finaly know my rage,
Is what I thought with a hateful gaze.

For I had locked 5 people in,

The shadow smoke,


would soon begin.

The only way to start a new,
is to let go of stuff you knew.
Let your mind go find
the bestest way to make you fly.

We're all going down to hell
I'll dwell in the well
with the ring
2002
20--12
coming soon.

Sometimes I get,

stuck in my head,

Replaying all the **** that we said
Reliving all the **** that I did.

Sometimes I think,

This life is a trip,

Moment you fall asleep

You're scared awake
Back in the grip
Of a leather snake
That snaps at your neck,

We could all be great
But our thoughts and trust are a mess,

I'm a virtual recluse
nonetheless,

I try my best,

Not to stray to a noose.

Heart in chest..

It bleeds
Like little Kids,

with scraped knees.

We all live
but only some of us really breathe,

rest of us are struggling

some are worst in suffering
I've been cursed to not give in
I've been told I'm meant for things
I've been held up,
Lion King.

Call me Simba..

I'll leave,
come back again,

Change is something
I never did

I just ACT accordingly,

to surroundings.

It all depends who's around then,

DOESN'T make me fake!

look at all the greats
they didn't carry HATE
Learning how to act,

only elevates.

Try to regulate a better mindset,

Before your mind sets
in a place you'll regret...

Everyone makes mistakes

Everyone's trying to change

Everyone thinks the strange

Everyone points to blame

Everyone ain't the same!!

I will never be like none of y'all...

One of a kind,

word to God..

I'm a God

I'm a king

ima have everything
I ever wanted,

First I need to take a step
out of my head,

Because the thoughts like to spread

Causing dread
Dangling of a thread..

The noose is hung up
take a step
I might just wind up dead
With some regrets

Thinking of everything
I could've done or could've been,


Stuck inside my head.

They're whispering saying things
I shouldn't think filling my head,
with hatrid!
I feel depressed, I can not manage this,
I feel the quits, they're sneaking up
I hear the cricks I hear the creaks,
I feel defeat
I'm panicking so this is it
I failed to live.
I'm giving up
I'm giving in
I don't deserve to live like this,
So what it'll be.
A knotted rope
Or a slit wrist...

Will I finally get my rest
Who deserves all of this?
At least in death,
we have, a restful guess..

Ten fingers can't count every sin,
Can't count everything that I did as kid
Do you think to forgive that you need to re-live the experience again,
to go back to a place you don't wanna face
retrace every step of the hurt and the pain,
remind yourself why you went through the change.
Then ask yourself is it worth it..

Today.

Today I woke up. Thanks.

All I wanna do is be a great artist to take care of those who took care of me to repay every moment of gratitude and appreciation I have experienced and turn it into an experience we can all share together..
This is the goal the price of a soul
I'll let it go to watch you all grow you'll tell me no but the candles been blown.

A true artist understands that world is black and grey filled with hate that we underrate,
yet we overestimate the grace that's in our face.
We think it not
then lose our place
to blame others for our mistakes.
So yes
I'll write
then I'll paint
a stroke of pens will lead my way.

Pan is said to have died when people ceased to worship nature and the wild. People stopped worshiping the nature spirits, the Naiads, the nymphs etc.
In fact it is almost widely accepted that the death of Pan marked the advent of theology and Christianity. It is said that Christ was born as soon as Pan died ( It is not clear whether Christ was born after Pan died or Pan died after Christ was born ). People stopped worshiping the nature and started worshiping Christ. As a result nature went un-acknowledged and Pan “died”.
The other god is Asclepius; God of Medicine, Healing, and Rejuvenation.
His myth is very different. Asclepius is said to have been killed by Zeus as Asclepius had brought back Hippolytus back from the dead in exchange for gold. This angers Hades who asks Zeus to **** him. Zeus kills him with his thunderbolt.
It is said that later Zeus brings him back and orders him not to bring back anyone from the dead without his permission

I'm an evil villain painted in the darkest image,

everyone thinks

I'm just an idiot

I don't care
I'm just living,

Look at my teeth
ugh
They're  hideous!

I'm a miscreant,
I'm too serious, inconsiderate,

I'm in need of immediate assistance

But...

not single human gets me,

so I keep my distance
Never had a best friend,

always the third wheel,

This pattern is consistent
been that way since way back when

20

Oh

6


When everyone thought the world would end
six
six
six

I wasn't created
to
fit
In,

I was born for greater things.

When I spread my wings
They'll look up

Is it a bird
Is it a plane,

Nah
I know exactly what they'll say
One word..

LAME!

Ahahaha

Shame me..
blame me..
hate me ..
Rate me..

You're just mad.
you don't phase me.

Shame me..
Blame me..
Hate me..
Rate me..

You're just mad.
you don't phase me.

Ahahaha!!

I don't like what I'm noticing
it's my reflection,
I'm smirking
But I see he's hurting.
So many imperfections
So much agression
So scared of rejection
Is that a slight hint of depression
Maybe it's time this kid accepts it acceptance is something he aint never getting rejection is his best friend.

All this cause acceptance
has never been accepting
he feels it's something he ain't never getting
rejection has been his best friend
Since his first steps
It'll be that way til his deathbed doesn't matter what he thinks when he's close to brink
and the stench of death starts to stink
When his eyes stop the blink
And his mom or dad walks in
To see their kid
With a rope knotted
tight around his neck
His last thoughts it's no guess..


Why couldn't I be accepted?

Never learn what I did.
Ten fingers can't every sin,
Can't count everything that I did as kid
Do you think to forgive that you need to re-live the experience again,
to go back to a place you don't wanna face
retrace every step of the hurt and the pain,
remind yourself why you went through the change.
Then ask yourself was it worth it..... Today.

We ask God for the wrong things
That's why it feels like he ain't helping

Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain
These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage
I can't breathe. You're my tree
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you, there's no me.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head
I'll fall..

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think..
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing the same people act like they're ok .

I can see past your flesh.
I can see past your lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life

Mister sweet heart,
mommas little angel, but down deep, they know I was danger.

The therapy
psychiatry
the medicine
The punishments
the lack of love filled with neglect
The hungry days won't go away
This messy home where I was raised
The secrets that I'll take to grave
With ****** hands, my soul,
the price I'd have to pay..

For all the sins I committed for being raised without proper supervision

Like a disease, I spread my infection. Who knows how many lives I've affected for having such selfish intentions.

This guilt
A collection,
it builds with suspension.
All a child needs is protection.
This reflection only shows my rejection and the holes never filled with affection,

I suppose this is why I'm different
This is why I don't fit in
This is why I don't want this
This life keeps me haunted with the past

I should've died on that rope.

Or under that truck on the road,

I should've died when I got in that car with that guy I didn't know
But God had other goals,

So that day, it poured rain as I ran home, and the blood stain washed away from my clothes,
I'm alive, but the price is my soul
Take a life, and that's how it goes.

That pocket knife was lunged in his throat!
wide eyes as he made ****** jokes.
I chose my life, but I lost all my hope

But the second his hand reached my thigh,

I didn't think twice, my trust, my pride he overstepped that line.
I'm not fine. I've never been,

The fear in his eyes I was feeling it

But that's life,
the fear of never wanting to die.
While fighting to prove you're alive.

Thing about me is I remember everytime you said you would do some thing and didn't come thru everytime you made a promise and let me down everytime you owed me something and didn't pay up the thing about me is I remember all the disrespect thing about me is I remember all the neglect thing about me is I remember to much pain not enough good to settle the rain the thing about me is I've always been different and ignorant I'm pretty sure I was partially Autistic but no one cared I was treated poorly and differently most often you were annoyed by me and that's ok bcoz I know your only human and that its not your fault,

Bcoz the thing about me is that I'm always forgiving..

A dark night
without any moonlight
No street lamps that shine bright
Only nothingness,

A will to fight, yeah..
The taste of judgement
This feeling you're different
You'll never fit in.

Acceptance,
It's been the only thing you've
Ever wanted,
At arms length
But even then you barely grasp it.

These thoughts
come into your head
They starting talking,
Making you wonder.
Making you doubtful,
Making it hurt more
Making it hurt more

Nobody wants this darkness
Nobody wants this loneliness
Hopelessness,
cry to sleep
Still you're restless
Your chest it hurts
when your breathing,
is out of control.
You're gasping!

Like you're drowning in tears,
Everytime you know it's coming
You feel a little bit of fear,
Coz you know
even tho it makes you feel good
Just a little,
to let it all go.
That darkness and those voices
Don't ever let go.

It happens with friends and family
Maybe you walk by some people who laugh and you wonder what's funny..
Feel a little uncomfortable,
Sooo,
you keep yourself in this little bubble.
Thinking if you don't let anyone near,
You'll never have to fear,
The judgment,
gossip,
The hatrid
nonsense,
The critics.
The ones that are plastic
The back stabbers
The users, abusers
Accusers of nothing
The. ...
STOP IT!!!

We're talking to the voices now,
Didn't you know?
This whole poem was the conversation
We all have alone..

Coz even when it's your bestfriend
or family members
That little voice in your head makes
You wonder the stupidest things.

Ignore the ignorance of the ignorant let them keep bickering,
They speak of illiterate,
They see a vigorous factor and try to tear down the foundations it postures.
Snickering like children's laughter
They're all lost and know not what there after,
Use a belligerent tone
Articulate the words and make whats yours be owned,
Act like you do when alone
Do not let fake attributes insert your fragile dome.

We used to talk every weekend

Now I'm drinking and smoking til the week ends

It doesn't make sense

Cause back then we were bestfriends

You were the one,

I would tell everything too
Now we can't be in the same room

One wrong move..


Everything goes boom!

You were a bomb strapped to my chest

I gave you my best

but the clock was ticking
I didn't know it

I didn't know yet

Til the bomb went
BOOM!!

You blew me to bits

Surrounded by fumes of what could've been.

I sit here and think

what did I do
Like the problems not you.

I treat others
how they treat me
so if you don't like the treatment
well then treat me better/
or we'll,
all act bitter

Ruin every get together
You can not handle the pressure

You are too tender,
tethered with an aggressor

God's our possessor
at the end of the day

life's an adventure
I won't surrender.

To understand why a man is damaged
you must first understand
the situation he was handed

One day you'll understand why
As we both cry

dont think that this version of self

Means that the curtains have fell

Certain things can lead you to hell

Be assertive,

knowing all ends well.

The surface has air.

What ever happened to that drug selling music
everyone out here's using
Abusing themselves
Accusing the wealth
A noose shows us hell
A booth doesn't help
Go on talk to yoself
Invest in yo health
Think about nobody else

Be selfish or end up helpless
Think,
what is best
for the person who reflects.
Picture the image you expect
No one wants to die with regrets
No one wants to say/think they didn't try their best as they take that single last breathe
I know every addict as this thought,

what if
I never started using this ****.

What is life for,
If not to be the person you are.
What he die for,
Leaving us cursed from beyond.
What is love for,
If people just quit and give up.
What is worth more,
The peace or the thought it exist.

When will I,
Take my own advice.
When will I,
Change for better life.
When will I,
Be a better person.
When did I,
Begin to sin and worsen.
When did I,
Lose myself in the world.
When did I,
Begin to treat others cruel.
How can I,
Find the answers quick.
How can I,
Fight these cancer sticks.
How can I,
Learn from my mistakes.
Where will I,
Find the place that's great.
Where will I,
Find my inner peace.
Where will I,
Let loose and release.
Where did I,
Go, I feel lost.
Where did I,
Gain this heart of frost.
Where did I,
Find the bad vibes.
Can I,
Take my own advice.
Can I,
change for better life.
Can I,
Do it, and be alright.

Nothings ever been a little simple, no.
No signal shown to lead me in right direction, where should I go?

Don't care for people who don't care for you

I'm broken,
all these words left unspoken
inside my mind,
commotion all the time
The motion that they ride
To destroy what is mine
Self sabotage, but it's fine

enjoying my life like beer,
the sweetness of decorous words
A Hecklers curse.

spread rumors among birds,

(Chirp chirp)

Learned to handle pressure just to rise above herds,

I don't care what you heard
I'm a man on the verge
Losing all that I've earned,
Cruising fast down the road
Hit a bump, then I swerved
But I won't lose control.

That's what I thought, (right)
Now I'm burned in a urn,

If I crash,
you must know..

I hit a wall and relapsed,
so I'm back with the smoke.

I hit a wall, too relaxed
enjoying what I broke.

I hit a wall and then collapsed
I'm lying on this road.

Everything around me feels bitter and cold.
No better than I was at 20 years old

the older I grow,
the harder it is.
to let things go,

I'm reaching for my soul,
I'm looking at my goals
I'm thinking of my fam
I'm trying to watch them grow,

Instead, im bleeding out slow gasoline on the asphalt feeling weak, won't move, can't talk,
hear the beat of my heart stop
as the spark starts.

Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain

These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to at the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage.

you're my tree
shed your pain upon me
Every leaf, a release
of your stress and your needs
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you I can't breathe.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head,

I'll fall.

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think...
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I...

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing people pretend they're ok.

I can see past their flesh.
I can see past their lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life.

If I jumped would you watch me
If I'd fall would you catch me
If I'm sad would you hug me
If I'm mad you won't touch me

Every moment I think carefully
Then I see you walk around carelessly
I wonder if your love would match that of mine
I wonder if you are the other half I'm supposed to find

But then I wonder what would you do
If I fell for you, if you saw me sad would you hug me too and if I get mad would you see us through
I'd jump at the chance to know the truth

They can't control how you live
only you do
They can't control how you think
Only you do
they may control our emotions
and
cause tearing moments
but karma is a B
they'll get what they're deserving!!