Every step is like a brick



With a lesson behind it



And every brick that you lay



Builds fortune for better days

I really wish I could understand more
Plan for
Handle
All gore
Unload my stress
Take this of my chest
Coz I ain't even trying my best
I just act like life ain't sh**
While still holding on to it
So desperate,
Bcoz If i really hated it
I'd just call it quits
But I never do,
I have to tight a grip
Holding on to something I swear is harming me
still I wanna breathe.

My anxiety, it's been haunting me.
One variety, it's come threatening.
Innocent, is what I think.
I don't deserve to live like this
To live like this, it's so hellish
An antidote, is what I wish.
I'm desperate!
When I walk by and they all laugh
i think a joke has hit,
I wonder who they're targeting
If the targets me..
Now that's anxiety!
I know, the dangerous variety
Cause I can't trust in
no human.
Yet I want to be with them,
I want to be accepted in.
So late at night I toss and turn
Cause now I know it's all coming,
Those voices they won't stop talking...
Can you hear the words?

They're beautiful,

but yet haunting.

I shouldn't be here.

Now let me explain.

You're probably thinking I'm going insane saying I shouldn't be here, like that's ok.
But the truth to it is I shouldn't be here living like this
I shouldn't be here slaving for change
I shouldn't be here stressing in pain
I shouldn't be here worried of troubles
That won't even happen until a further tomorrow.
I shouldn't be here it's really plain and simple
I shouldn't be here surrounded by this evil
I shouldn't be here without faith and hope
Cause the second I coward, it's all down road.
I shouldn't be here climbing this ***** without any help, no tools, not even a rope.
I shouldn't be here living like this,
trying to evolve while feeling like ****.

They say evolution and creation are the reason for life, but I haven't evolved, and my thoughts don't create nothing nice.

I shouldn't be here doubting myself
I shouldn't be here comparing my wealth
The devils comparison wrapped in embarrassment
I'll act like they're better just cause they have nicer things
I shouldn't be here accepting this realm
I shouldn't be here,

so i wish you farewell.

My heart will bleed the ink I need
to help me write the words I plead

To plant a thought is a like a seed
nourishment will make a tree

But will it rise above the sea
Gallantly viewing the scenes

Or will it crash against the land
Swept by waves beneath the sand

I'd cry
but I've tried

Forcing tears,

out My eyes

Yet

it never feels authentic

Always feels,

pretended

Emotions
are
expected

Then I..

project them,


But it never feels authentic
You might say I'm pathetic
Just a charlatan
who plays a part
when expected

I'm gon'
leave a ****** trail
towards a well
With a funky smell
Covered in larvae infested shells
That dwell the flies of hell's demise
A swell of lives,
husband and wives
Like Edward's hands
I'm full of knives.
There's no surprise
When you yell why!
Insert like coins,
in your backside...

So in other words,
I'm a backstabber.

Fighting with demons
I'm swinging and hitting
I'm winning
I'll make it,
not kidding
They're screaming they're losing
Cause I've been abuse N defeated mistreated by people who needed
Some love and attention.
Well now they will get it
It's not the perspective they imaged.

But I ain't forgiving.
The sinners of sinning
I'm smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging
Like f--- it's nothing
I'll lie to my conscience say,
Like
trust me I got it
I got this, the problems I'm lying,
Been dying for change..

Now it's coming my way.

Trust me they'll hate

Dear God,

it's been a while since I've spoken to you 2015 I was all about you
posted online all these poems about you
Then I changed minds,
a very wrong move.
I've been defined as heartless and rude
I've undermined the power in you
I lost my faith
I lost my hope,
Fell on my face,
my heart had broke.

I can't retrace the steps that I take.

Like a foot print in the snow
You can't back track it won't be the same
The pattern would look all weird and strange
I've tried my best to behave
All on my own it's not the same
You gave me strength I gave you faith
I lost myself and changed my ways
Invoked the Devil to come and play
Now I ask my soul you save
Before the bells ring and sway....

I know I'm better than yesterday.

My mind keeps taking me back to the happy memories the rooms filled with laughter and family,
Even tho I know that's not the case,
I can't stand to look at your ******* face,
I'll sit down to take a break
Stand back up and **** my teeth
Tell me what it was
that changed our history
tell me what I did that you can't forgive
Bcoz I've been trying hard as **** to keep you in,
Even when my heart keeps trying to pump you out
Tell me what I did wrong so we can figure this **** out.
If you haven't noticed I'm still around
I'll come to town,
I'll let you know I'm coming down
But you never show up,
come on now!
I got two kids,
I don't got time for special visits
If you wanna be part of my life make yourself present.

I'm done trying to impress my friends
I'm done trying to keep you in
I'm done trying to keep my family from falling apart
I'm done trying to fix everyone
So **** em all.
I'm done caring..

"bcoz on Thanksgiving
Yah made it clear
This family ain't even worth the saving.
****!"

maybe some of yah was with it
The rest,
PATHETIC.
oh did I hit a nerve with that word.
Good,
They say I've been feeling cold
it's the weather It's about to snow.

Sometimes I feel God gave me a role that I can't control
a place in life
that I can't let go
your face with mine
they'll never glow
Not like before

It's more like the emoji sticker everyone thought was chocolate ice cream a long time ago.
****..

It's like the harder I try the harder things become for us idk..

A replacement for my memories is all I really need, some better energy.
erase every body who doesn't **** with me everyone who says New York is changing me
Everyone who fake smiles in my face
All you ******* need to be replaced. I dont give a **** if you think this ***** wrong
I dont care if it's just stage I'm on
Just coz we're in different states,
You wanna act like strangers, done.
ok great now no need to be fake
I'll put this **** out in the open
be warned,
ODD the bad omen has awoken
more of that topic will be spoken
for now just know that I'm broken.
Never hopeless always hoping
maybe this **** is just for the moment.
I really hope it cause growing up ****

We'd ride to die,
you was always by my side we planned out our whole life's as we talked outside now it hurts to see that ******* look in your eyes.
A ******* look I despise
this is goodbye to you guys mostly the ones in disguise,
I can't stand by a person who doesn't try
While I'm handing out smiles and **** like mister nice guy trying to crack jokes  like the old times all I ever get is false replies
like I can't see how you really feel through those human eyes.
It's no surprise...


I remember summer nights we'd ride our bikes
I remember sitting down while picking fights
I remember we used to play fight and
real fight,
Nothing got in our way.
I remember boat fishing.
searching places with our flashlights
I remember working out in our basement while listening to linkiin park for the first time.
I remember alot of accidents
You was always part of it!

I remember my best friends..

I guess these Memories is all I have left.

Like a blind man I walk on this path slowly,
wondering about this and that and trying to stay holy,
But in this world its hard to remain pure of heart,
Because there are so many things that can tear us apart,  
A word has no meaning until you put it there,
but we are so blinded by our assumptions and hate to be aware,
So we keep creating the cracks in the system,
no matter the strength of the ground it eventually sinks in,
Because nothing is forever not even that safety that you feel,
as you hide behind of what you believe to be real,
you wouldn't add black to a colorful rainbow,
and you wouldn't add horns to a beautiful angel,
But you can treat your family members like complete strangers,
something is wrong and we don't see the dangers,
Maybe when we awake from our dream, we will see how things really are, compared to how they seem.

Something new
give me something new
Give me something new
Give me something new
Something new
give me something new
Give me something new
Give give something new
Something new

Took me a while to get my head straight,
Took all my smiles to soften
hate traits
People think they know who I am,

Great.

Lost myself in one of the characters I play
I played my part,
I thought it art
I thought I know
What,
Who I are.

Who I am
is far from the truth
It'll probably leave you spooked
If you knew all the bad I really do.

Exclusive news hit
Illusive rude kid
Big heart small chest
Reclusive living

-I am intrusive, abrasive, irritating, hilarious, illogical, inconsistent, unpredictable, and one hell of a writer

That last part I didn't write tho.
Plagiarism off of rhyme zone
My algorithm would leave you mind blown
I'm not made the same as mankind,

no...

God talks to me
sometimes I don't listen
It's haunting me
This life that I'm living
God promised me,

I was meant to be different
I am way too forgiving
I imagine alot of killing
I'ma pray God is willing
To save me from this moment
Cause I might just do it
Been lost in my smoking
When the gun starts going

Who's to say,

where the wind might blow it.

Terrorized with what you see
in your eyes
no surprise
It's why you hate your life all the timeeeeeee!!!
All the timeeeee!!!
All the timeeeee!
Why you hate yo life
All the timeeeee?
You can change and be alrighttt..
With yo lifee
with yo lifee
just change yo life
You'll be alright,
You gotta
gotta
gotta
take a step
Don't look back,
No Regrets
Don't forget
Be the threat
Make them sweat
Be the jet
Close the set
No reset
Better than what you were,
Now reflect.

this the time for change
breaks those chains,
what is shame?
show them pain
show them everything no restraints
I'ma pour out my brains

No heart?
it's strange.

been like that since day one,

One day!

I'ma have money saved up
I'ma buy luxury items
I'ma be called King
Amongst other things
I'ma make my family filthy rich
No one will ever have to work for ****..

This is the dream
I am the key
the door is right in front of me
so what will it be,
My hand is trembling
An addicts worst bestfriend.
More scared than I've ever been
Fear means something is differ-rent
Cause we fear the differ-rence
lost in a comfort bubble of giving in..
I'm done giving up
Cement hasn't hardened
who's stuck?
The glue hasn't dried
So run
Just run
runnn run!

Everytime my emotions build up
inside of me I would run until everything was hurting me
til I got the side pain
I exploited it
I used that pain
to get away from the heartache..
We all find a way
I don't ever wanna hear you say
you can't change.

Lately/
I've been going of the rails
Ima probably go to hell,
For some tale I shouldn't tell
Ima probably go to jail
For some soul I shouldn't ****
Satan/
would gladly take my will
Chain it
Lock it
bolt it-

Fail-
Is what I've done..

Harm caused to everyone,
Sweaty palms
A loaded gun
Trigger happy!
set it off!
Oops.
This victim is the wrong one.
Still I gotta run
For what I've done
Can't say sorry if I'm killing everyone!

"****** huh"?

Yeah I'm a ****** duh!

Sociopathic
empath

"what"?

I'll make no sense
like eating chicken butts.

If I had a choice what my life would be before the first time I walk on feet I'd probably still make the wrong decision a curse to live without a vision.

Everything is always about conflict
If there isn't conflict,

then there is no profit

Where is the darkness we all sow?
Everyday I read a poem.

It's always the same thing,

I've loved.
I've lived.
I've longed for this.

Emotions they are sickening!

Repetitive,
With different words
A faker foe reflects and glows.
The sedative is to write a poem
To let sensitive emotions flow..

When we return in our real days
away from these heartfilled page
We do not show the form we take,
With pen
as sword,
We fight
We break,
Our eyes will tear
Our hearts will shake
Our minds they wonder far away...

But we never change..

Our form forever remains the same
Who's to say,
we're not tied by chains with hearts like Zart
Bach -N- Beethoven
swayed by a pendulum that's full of rage..
Underneath we take our stage
With a wreath that's wrapped in sage
Our only audience,
is a blank white page.

Before we click,
Copy/paste
And upload to a website
we think is safe..

As a man it's perfectly fine to cry,

our emotions don't die with age

they are buried under pain and rage.

I keep telling myself I haven't changed
A story I tell myself to go to bed.
I can't argue with the thoughts inside my head,

Why?

Well, they're making sense.

The numbers keep adding up
I'm told to ignore that stuff
Instead,
I'm all ears in
listening to every thought
Getting stuck with
mood swings
Trust issues and stomach grunts,
Waking up late at night coz of tummy knots and voices that like talk alot.

I'd ask God for help but my faith is gone
replaced with everything
I think is wrong,
still I'll play along,
With a pacey song
I keep alot of thoughts that don't belong
Holding onto pain won't make you strong!
they also say
what doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
Sooo,
I'll just try a little longer to convince myself I didn't cuff and imprison my mental health in a shattered hell with a different type of kind that's
unhinged..
unwell,
blinded by beliefs of fairytales
Thinking that the peace means all ends well.

Sacrifices first!

Then we shall..

See
the
peace
Prevail

A word is a word and a noise is a noise

But as I'm reading these words I'm hearing no noise,

Who decides what words will mean

Who decides what noises sing

Who is right if all are wrong
Who is weak if all are strong
    Who is bad if all are good

Who would change
the world's broke view,

If given all what would you do

Everything you want is all in you

Everything you need you have it too

The desire of others
will blind your view,

Remember the blessing
not the lessons

Remember that stressing
isn't heaven

Remember the child
you once were

Remember the joy and freedom
we died for.

My destiny is to be a writer
and
share my misery on an online blogger

Do not let what others think of you become what you think of yourself
Read it again.

It's no ones business what you put in your system
if you wanna be an addict,
great be an addict in silence
don't hype it up making these young kids try it.
I hate what music's become
I hate what people have done
Trying all these things they hear in the songs
Telling me no it isn't that wrong
Everyone does it, come just give up.
Let go of your senses
let's try some non sense
Perks,
pink drinks,
Heated spoons
Acid, angel dust
All of it's,
straight garbage!

In melody /they say it's harmless
A remedy /that can fix all this
Secretly /it causes damage
Destroying all your organs
Seeping you of the youth
That God gives

I'm in a world of lost hope
It's like nobody knowss.
What they want unless they're told.

How'd it happened?
You'd never imagine
Chaos and madness
Secrets in the ad libs
Secret is the message
Secret is the plot
Secrets are kept
death tolls are not
Swept in a place left there to rot
The warning was given
Pray for his risen
The lands ain't forgiving
In the horizon expulsions
Corruption slave ships
Destruction, restrictions
The victims all siblings resembling
In image different in pigment
your hatrid resent it,
think with a lesser aggression stop the oppression this **** is depressing
so many lives lost but what is the message
Your life, how was it affected?
Tell me, how is it infected?
we come from different perspectives
What? You can't accept it.

Soo um,
that makes killing ok then?
Are you even human?
Do you have any feelings?

I'ma just assume you're a demon
Cause only a Satan spawn could think that wrong is right and right is wrong,
You're only seeing where you come from and still you judge
spewing things like
"Enough's-enough's
thank God for our Presidents they've  done so much.."
Open up your eyes I think that they're shut.
A life is a life it doesn't matter
"But"
But
but, nothing
a life is a life
we all have family.

People change, this world is strange it always plays with how we choose,
To
behave
In exchange we're left astray with those we loved,
Communicate and open up thats what they say, but everyone's shut.

He looked up with a tear in his eye
asking why,
as we often do when facing a moment of hardship.
He wanted to know why he was
the way he is,
what was the purpose?
Why would the lord allow him
to see the thoughts of others
To sense the presence of evil.
Yet having the inability to do anything
With it because if he expresses his
gift/cursed; If he were to let anyone know, they would leave. He knows this to be true, for he has tried to befriend those who knew and they would only wander further away from his grace.

Therefore he asks,

Why?
So many negative thoughts
So much hate so much anger
A relentless amount of sadness
Shielded by a great wall of pride.

Why show a man everything.

Why give a man a shield with no sword and throw him against fierce dragons that breath fire, why let a man be haunted with the visions he sees in the minds of all others..

What purpose does this serve him
what lesson is there to be learned.
How could he ever keep those thoughts at bay.

He would tried everything
even if it meant it had to be done in sin,
the man was overwhelmed with this gift.
He felt the thoughts becoming his own, his heart was now tainted he could feel the black stain that had taken refuge inside.
All he truly wanted was peace of mind,
The hardest thing to find in this plain and he knows it to be true for he has seen the thoughts of so many surely it was plenty, He has yet to find a mind filled with peace, even those who praise God and speak on his behalf raising certainties out of despair and telling us the voice in the sky cares,
even those poor beaten souls had darkness surrounding their weak feeble minds
How can a man born into sin forged by sin only to be raised by sin surrounded by sin everyday, how can this man overcome the demons
how can he overcome the voices
how can he be the pillar that the lord expects him to be..
His counsel never sought
his appeal full of rot
Can the lord honestly say
it's the man who forgot..

Of course, see in his mind in his grace he sees a planet full of free will
a planet filled with everything we could possibly need a planet that was made for those who fought bravely in the holy grail war a planet for everyone to be humble...

He didn't except the free will to be used the way it has been used for centuries only to satisfy your own selfish needs only to help you get to where you need.

We all have a conscious that tells us it's wrong, why do it
We all have a conscious that tells us when someone is need of a hug,
You don't do it why

We all have a conscious that let's us see as clear as day and as bright as the sun the pain our words can cause the recieving end
why'd you say that?

Why allow rage to overcome common sense, where does it end.

Tell me does treating other people poorly really help you sleep at night does it give you any type of inner peace does it bring the lord closer to your heart? Or does it only fuel the hate that spreads like a blaze out in a dry forest
Where beauty once laid

You can be as appealing to world
as you think you should
follow everything that's publicize by fake news let the celebrities tell you
What to do, only to be left empty
Searching for a way to find that missing mood
you'll see the clues you'll know exactly what you need to do.
But you never do
Why force yourself to live
with ill contempt
allow yourself to give in with no consent
allow yourself to lose the closes friends
Was your pride really more important than all of them
Why allow yourself to wake only to think "Yup this is it".

This isn't how it was intended

Why do you keep pretending

Preventing any help that's ever offered

from taking a step in

Is pride really worth all of it
Is pride really worth losing it
Your own self esteem and confidence
If You think you're confident
you're not
you're just ignorant
living thinking that you know everything
You don't even know how to live

This

Is

Not

The

End

God's been trying to stop my downfall
But we all know I'm a lost cause
Been this way since my Pops crossed,
Over to the other side,
no more ha ha's
No more play time
saying da da
Where's my papa?
Why so much drama?
That's what I asked my mama
As she sat me down to tell me,
blah blah..
That's the day
she told me I lost my father.
The first time I kept my emotions bottled,
Practice for the future I'd follow
Even tho it only lasted about an hour...

Fighting with demons
They're swinging and hitting
I'm screaming
I'm losing, they're winning!
I'm feeling defeated,
a heathen who's taken a beating,
Without a religion
Untreated since *****,
But God is forgiving
So I keep on sinning.
Smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging,
like F--- it's nothing.
I'll lie to my conscience say,
trust me I got it
I got this, the problem's I'm lying,
I'm dying, for change
I'm crying, it's strange
I'll look at my family's face,
Tell em I am ok.
They won't believe what I say
So I'll put a display
have it all on replay
When I visit it's a shame
But we all play the game
Cause we're all built the same
It's the family name.

Fighting with demons
While working like slaves
We all want money and need to get paid
So mommy my sister my brothers my cousin's N aunty my grandma uncle and grandpy.
I love you so much miss you so badly,
sadly I needed to leave
to grow like a tree
with beautiful leaves
when you walk through the darkness that's what you'll see
I am not heartless it's an act for the sheep,
The people who think they know about me
They dont know sh--
cause rumors are free.

Life in the city.....
Ah,
It's sooo pretty....
it's not half bad.

The I job I have
is a pain but that'll never change
the place I live is the same but that's hard to change
The people around me negative vibes
Sensitive guys
so hard to try
to just be alright
When you're living this life
If you can't see the light
When darkness in sight
Would you fail with your might
If you held all your pride
Would you haul it aside
Would you it keep inside
The answers obvious,
but you never try so tell me you used all your might and your pride
you just toss it aside.
cause you try to be nice
so you're f---ing your life
take it out on the kids and your wife.
What you need is..
therapy
psychiatry
Alot ****, no!
a rehab facility
A melody serenity Enter me eternally
take away the demons that talk to me frequently
in the night I can't sleep,
scary dreams!
In the day
Self suffering destructing myself
I'm wrecking my health
I'm not depressed.
I'm just busy *** hell
Trying pay all the bills
don't got time to stand still
But I got a strong will
So I promise I will succeed
buy anything you ever need
Everything will all be free,
House and cars with big TVs
Doesn't matter what it cost to me..
your the family the reason I'm aiming for luxury.
The reason I wont fail,
I'll succeed
Ain't nothing stopping me
but me.

Fighting with demons
I'm swinging and hitting
I'm winning
I'll make it,
not kidding
They're screaming they're losing
Cause I've been abuse N defeated mistreated by people who needed
Some love and attention.
Well now they will get it
It's not the perspective they imaged.
But I ain't forgiving.
The sinners of sinning
I'm smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging
Like f--- it's nothing
I'll lie to my conscience say,
trust me I got
I got this,

the problems I'm lying.

Compassion over wealth

Not

wealth over health,

this world is going to hell

Burning is all I smell.

May the mind of the broken rest
in the pond of forgets
where the past chains break free
from the pillars of regret

I don't do nothing
No I dont do nothing
I dont do nothing
No I don't do a single thing

Shes always talking
And it ain't that gossip
It's always non sense

Cause she's trying to say
that I dont do ****

What!

Yo I swear this chick has lost her ****

Before me who did everything

I mean before me it was just you
All alone,
in a home taking care of yo self
But now you got me and you want me to do everything without any help

What the hell
This isn't love or relationship
Its ownership,
you're trying to own a *****
But I ain't no ***** you the one who's gonna wash that dish go on get ******
You ain't gon do **** except probably
Scream be mean throw ****
With look on your face that's so UGLY.

Oh ****! (Duck)

I don't do nothing
No I dont do nothing
I dont do nothing
No I don't do a single thing


I swear everytime I get comfortable that's when you come in the room
With a ****** mood,
I should probably swing at you
But I never would I mean I never could
I'll just trip you
then say oops...

Run away with a silly grin on my face
Like hee hee hee

You can't catch me

But you will catch me
washing dishes
Sweeping
mopping
scrubbing toilets
All this for one purpose

You already know it.

Giggity
I'm trying get jiggly and wiggily
under the blanket
with my *****
and she won't touch my ******
unless I go and clean

God, the world's been trying to break me down,
I've tried my best to hold on to solid ground
They don't want me to figure out all the things I should've learned by now

Walking by blindly while trying to find me,

eyes glued to the sidewalk
scared they might judge me, if I look up

what might I see?

people laughing and taunting, pointing their fingers like haha I'm nothing,

I get it. I'm starving for attention, aimlessly.
Walking in wrong directions
Sometimes,
I wonder, do I really deserve this?

I'm hurting this journey is urging for drug use,
exposing my young youth to dangerous bad culture.
I'm smelling the sulfur
too embarrassed to approach you
Now I see the rippling effect of my actions,
everyone thinking that im nothing but a trash bin.

Other day, I texted my female friend
Then she made a post.

"I'm sorry that I ghost you, but I stay loyal,"

It was all based on one mistake that I made when I left my queen for a peasant.
So what?
Now, I can't even send a message without someone thinking there's ****** intentions.

It's a shame when they jump to conclusions and make wrongful assumptions..

This is my life now so **** it!

I'm sorry for cursing God
but I lose my patience.
never had room for hatred
they say you made me for greatness to raise the spirits and change the currents, but currently,
I've been feeling helpless
acting selfish,

downing alcoholic poison just to numb myself and silence the voices!


I've run out of choices!

MY TOES ARE OVER THE EDGE WAITING FOR ME TO UH,

NOO!!!

This isn't the answer,

My conscious has spoken!

A second too late,

I've already fallen.

Soon
I might erupt
Take a few dudes down to Lux's club
Meet the son of God.

A fallen angel with a broken halo
So much anger they call hate, no.
That's not what is,
Blinded by the things you would do
You compare myself to you
I'm not you nor do I wanna be
I'd never hurt someone purposely.
You do it filled with glee
You do it filled with joy
You do it to destroy.

Little boy..

In a grown mans body
he can't talk properly
Can't pull his pants up in the street
Still dressing like he's a teen
Look a them the product of our great country.

Little boys

I wanna see you sooo happy,
That it makes me happy.

Twenty seven years,
That's at least 20 million tears.
How the F I make it here,
Man I should've died
So many times,
But God always.
Save my life,
I wonder why?
I ain't that special,
I have a F'd up mental
Childhood was hospital beds, boo!
Broken bones.
Swollen throat, this was my life.
I don't just write, it's not a joke.
Can God tell me why he saved little a kid
Was it worth it,
After everything he did
Not to mention the person,
He's become.
Sometimes we all look up,
We ask a question...
the sky stays shut
We feel this pain
this thought of giving up.
But wait,
there's always someone there to say.
It's gonna be ok,
How they know.
Do they have proof they can show,
A posession that they hold
that'll give me a just a little bit of hope..
Welp the answer always nope,
It's just words, coming out they throat.
So.....
In thee end it doesn't matter where we go, I'm not suicidal, I'm just tired.
My surroundings are expired.
I'm over due in my time
A new place is what I need to find..
The place I'm in now...
isn't good for my mind....

You ever felt lonely,
surrounded by love

Y'all don't know the pain I've been thru all the **** I went thru would change you and make you just hate you

When you hate yourself ain't nothing the world can do
to break you
And to break through
trust
no one can help you
Its up to you to make moves
Up to you to make do

Up to you to break through
One wrong move
and you're left in the same ol loop
Looking in the mirror like
What the ****
I do

Questions never answered
You think you should cancel
Yourself,
not really thinking bout
nobody else
Its a pain unlike anything else
when you feel you're all by yourself
And nobody else understands
of your hell

Or maybe you never tell
So you're sitting in a well
Hoping all gets well
Surrounded by the feelings that put you there

Nothing else..

The darkness overwhelms
Overwhelmed you decided **** it life is hell
So you never share how you really feel and that's a raw deal
those emotions will build up,
and you will be stuck,

only way to heal is if you speak up
get a hug find some love
if you ain't finding none
change it up same routine will leave you stuck in a rut,
changed it up.

Meet someone save someone
You never know who has a loaded gun
Pointed up to there chin
Cause they think that their life *****
Open up before its too late for anyone to show up
you don't want them showing up on rainy day looking glum because they didn't get the chance to save someone they truly loved,

at the end of the day,
we all have someone
who would listen up so hit em up before pain keeps you stuck with the thought of giving up.
Don't give up

I can hear the souls cry as they sail thru hells creek
They talk of a language that we do not speak
For the sins they've done that cannot be forgiven
The demons torture them if they keep on living and
If they die and pass away
The tortures worse I hear them say
A pain so bad it cannot be explained
Just the thought of it could damage the brain
Their chambers dark hollow and small
To get in and out they had to crawl
Their chest against the fiery floor
They'll beg and cry they can't take no more
But the more they beg the more they give
An eternity in hell you will live.

If you are to sin this is your fate,
But
to repent is never too late.

Happy Father's day

I'm wondering,

why is it such a struggle
to be a human being,
why is it so hard
to be alive and breathing
Why are we scarred
left mentally bleeding
Hiding the tears so no one can see them

Why is it

when

things get hard
the first thought

Is

**** this I'm leaving!!

Why you keeping me at distance

Haven't you seen the marks

they're just like wristbands

They're all around my heart,

You can not miss em..

you actually do

Another face in a crowd

Do I even know you..

Why is it we don't say alot of things out loud
we hold these words in
letting them tear us down

Limb by limb

But you won't

hear a sound,

Even when my eyes
Are full sadness
You'll just focus on my smile
hoping that I'll manage

you wouldn't want to be a part of my life if you knew I was damaged

To all the people I've abandoned
I'm sorry
This clown has been lost in madness



I just hate it because
I swear I'm surrounded by Angels
even when every turn
I take is screaming out danger

I'll take that step,
I could never hate you
Still I have no regrets
To way that we got here

To try and replace you would be like shifting into a fake gear
Car wouldn't get anywhere
you're one of a kind
I love you my dear..


I made alot bad moves
Trusted in all the wrong dudes
Try fit in with ****** world views

God gave me a perspective unlike any other
still I'm not perfect
I'm trying to do better


it's just hard when you lose yourself
When you try to give it all to god
Then they make you think
that's not enough,

That's when you'll stop showing love
That's when you'll stop looking up

You wanna fit in so badly

That's when you'll start feeling dark

That's when your mind starts thinking stuff
making you doubt everyone you ever knew and loved

Making you feel like you're not good enough,

I won't be the first


I hope I'm not the last

To tell you
it's to let go of the past
It's ok to give someone a pass
It's ok to open up and laugh

You don't have to over think everything

over thinking everything

In a small explanation is-

We're all boats and every negative thought is another sink hole
Stop letting them in,

let it all go

Forget about the pain

I promise with God beside you you'll see yourself grow.

I promise with God beside you you'll always feel whole

Let it all go....