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85 · Jun 2021
Soft eyes
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
Her soft eyes filled with rage and hate

Her light mind allowed darkness in

In due time she'll lose her sense

Its alright,
she'll thinks it is.

Of mankind woman are frail

They're unhinged probably from hell

Don't believe off of one's tale...

Of mankind
the men

vermin

They sell
they make
they keep
exploring

A thing a place
even
a
person

They have no limits
Their minds are broken
A flute that plays hells words unspoken..

Chained against a wall,

her soft eyes filled with hate for all that crawl

The vermin came
A round of turns
Her only thought for them to burn

A loosened ***** would surely help
A sharpened tool would make them yell.

Her eyes were soft her mind was strong they thought her frail but they were wrong,

A woman holds a life inside

no man can shoulder no higher pride
A land of pigs a different sty

The next to come will surely die

She does not plan to run away

But to slay the men that choose to lay

Against her will and make her say

Make her feel unnatural ways

One by one the men takes turn

Down a hall into a room

Thinking that the previous left

They walk inside to meet their death.
84 · Sep 2019
Do you
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I'm in a world of lost hope
It's like nobody knowss.
What they want unless they're told.
84 · Jun 2019
Little brown bear
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
It all started with a brown bear
Who knew we'd end up here
With a goofy stare,
love is ******* rare.
Especially when you find some one who really cares
Even when you just wanna grab them by their hair.
Wrap it around their neck oops no air.
I love you so much I ******* swear!
I see your face everywhere
I took a **** I saw it there
Didn't flush,
Cause your my ****,
you aint going anywhere.
Only you get to see this *** bare
You take away all my air it's so unfair.
I'm scared of losing you so late at night I'll do a prayer,
Check on you in your night wear
we'd make such a special pair
Love is in the air as I watch you sleep from this chair through the eyes of my brown bear.
83 · Dec 2019
Chicken butt
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
Lately/
I've been going of the rails
Ima probably go to hell,
For some tale I shouldn't tell
Ima probably go to jail
For some soul I shouldn't ****
Satan/
would gladly take my will
Chain it
Lock it
bolt it-

Fail-
Is what I've done..

Harm caused to everyone,
Sweaty palms
A loaded gun
Trigger happy!
set it off!
Oops.
This victim is the wrong one.
Still I gotta run
For what I've done
Can't say sorry if I'm killing everyone!

"****** huh"?

Yeah I'm a ****** duh!

Sociopathic
empath

"what"?

I'll make no sense
like eating chicken butts.
Bored
79 · Dec 2019
Copy/Paste
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
Where is the darkness we all sow?
Everyday I read a poem.

It's always the same thing,

I've loved.
I've lived.
I've longed for this.

Emotions they are sickening!

Repetitive,
With different words
A faker foe reflects and glows.
The sedative is to write a poem
To let sensitive emotions flow..

When we return in our real days
away from these heartfilled page
We do not show the form we take,
With pen
as sword,
We fight
We break,
Our eyes will tear
Our hearts will shake
Our minds they wonder far away...

But we never change..

Our form forever remains the same
Who's to say,
we're not tied by chains with hearts like Zart
Bach -N- Beethoven
swayed by a pendulum that's full of rage..
Underneath we take our stage
With a wreath that's wrapped in sage
Our only audience,
is a blank white page.

Before we click,
Copy/paste
And upload to a website
we think is safe..
76 · Jun 2019
Nothing is something.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
It always starts with one voice telling you something
then you start to argue with yourself like it's nothing
Acting like it's counseling and you're the counselor of counseling,
This session is a thing that never ends
Cause when the thoughts begin
You're hearing them
Judging and talking bout nothing
Telling you that it means something.
76 · Nov 2019
Falling
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
God's been trying to stop my downfall
But we all know I'm a lost cause
Been this way since my Pops crossed,
Over to the other side,
no more ha ha's
No more play time
saying da da
Where's my papa?
Why so much drama?
That's what I asked my mama
As she sat me down to tell me,
blah blah..
That's the day
she told me I lost my father.
The first time I kept my emotions bottled,
Practice for the future I'd follow
Even tho it only lasted about an hour...
76 · Aug 2019
Family.
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
I've reached the end of this chapter.
No fairytale happy ever after,
this isn't Disney, real life's more grisly.
Happy moments only last briefly
Memories are permanent,
Life is no tournament,
you'd be fortunate to find a family who's worth all this, ****.
That people spit the judging nods and disrespect.
Never showing up then apologize for your neglect,
never hit each other up
Saying I've been busy, 'bulshit'
we all got time we just choose who to spend it with
afterwards we're looking over each others graves and ****
talking about we had so many great moments, ****.
That's life am I right,
we'll never have the same people by our side til the day we die.
That's nothing but a bulshit lie
Real life is more ahh f--- those guys.
I have it up to here,
I need new vibes,
Some new people in my life
76 · Dec 2019
Fighting with demons
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
Fighting with demons
They're swinging and hitting
I'm screaming
I'm losing, they're winning!
I'm feeling defeated,
a heathen who's taken a beating,
Without a religion
Untreated since *****,
But God is forgiving
So I keep on sinning.
Smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging,
like F--- it's nothing.
I'll lie to my conscience say,
trust me I got it
I got this, the problem's I'm lying,
I'm dying, for change
I'm crying, it's strange
I'll look at my family's face,
Tell em I am ok.
They won't believe what I say
So I'll put a display
have it all on replay
When I visit it's a shame
But we all play the game
Cause we're all built the same
It's the family name.

Fighting with demons
While working like slaves
We all want money and need to get paid
So mommy my sister my brothers my cousin's N aunty my grandma uncle and grandpy.
I love you so much miss you so badly,
sadly I needed to leave
to grow like a tree
with beautiful leaves
when you walk through the darkness that's what you'll see
I am not heartless it's an act for the sheep,
The people who think they know about me
They dont know sh--
cause rumors are free.

Life in the city.....
Ah,
It's sooo pretty....
it's not half bad.

The I job I have
is a pain but that'll never change
the place I live is the same but that's hard to change
The people around me negative vibes
Sensitive guys
so hard to try
to just be alright
When you're living this life
If you can't see the light
When darkness in sight
Would you fail with your might
If you held all your pride
Would you haul it aside
Would you it keep inside
The answers obvious,
but you never try so tell me you used all your might and your pride
you just toss it aside.
cause you try to be nice
so you're f---ing your life
take it out on the kids and your wife.
What you need is..
therapy
psychiatry
Alot ****, no!
a rehab facility
A melody serenity Enter me eternally
take away the demons that talk to me frequently
in the night I can't sleep,
scary dreams!
In the day
Self suffering destructing myself
I'm wrecking my health
I'm not depressed.
I'm just busy *** hell
Trying pay all the bills
don't got time to stand still
But I got a strong will
So I promise I will succeed
buy anything you ever need
Everything will all be free,
House and cars with big TVs
Doesn't matter what it cost to me..
your the family the reason I'm aiming for luxury.
The reason I wont fail,
I'll succeed
Ain't nothing stopping me
but me.

Fighting with demons
I'm swinging and hitting
I'm winning
I'll make it,
not kidding
They're screaming they're losing
Cause I've been abuse N defeated mistreated by people who needed
Some love and attention.
Well now they will get it
It's not the perspective they imaged.
But I ain't forgiving.
The sinners of sinning
I'm smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging
Like f--- it's nothing
I'll lie to my conscience say,
trust me I got
I got this,

the problems I'm lying.
74 · Jun 2019
Love make no sense
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
These words are worst than a punch
They'll go through your soul,
Make you lose touch.
Make us think love isn't enough.
I'm so ******* up,
my thoughts have rot,
I'm stuck inside a box,
I climbed into, it was for fun.
Didn't think that I get stuck
Now I'm looking up,
waiting for someone to pull me out.
been a long time now,
I know they won't come
I think love is just a sound
That we make with our mouth.
I love you. yeah me too.
Next week, you're thinking wow.
How could they leave,
a month later you feel relieved.
now deep down you believe
You didn't need anybody
I think it's funny.
The deception of love,
it's imperfect to all.
Still we search for it
like when looking for a jobs,
We're protecting our hearts
Putting up all these walls.
But I promised,
I'd give you my all.
From beginning to end.
But if you're giving your all
why is there an end,
It doesn't make sense.
74 · Jan 2022
Death of inner
Anthony Collazo Jan 2022
A word is a word and a noise is a noise

But as I'm reading these words I'm hearing no noise,

Who decides what words will mean

Who decides what noises sing

Who is right if all are wrong
Who is weak if all are strong
    Who is bad if all are good

Who would change
the world's broke view,

If given all what would you do

Everything you want is all in you

Everything you need you have it too

The desire of others
will blind your view,

Remember the blessing
not the lessons

Remember that stressing
isn't heaven

Remember the child
you once were

Remember the joy and freedom
we died for.
Once we became adults our inner child died with our freedom
73 · Oct 2021
A brick at a time
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
Every step is like a brick



With a lesson behind it



And every brick that you lay



Builds fortune for better days
73 · Oct 2019
Nf I miss the days
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
https://youtu.be/fy9YETB068M


Great song
73 · Jun 2019
Dark storys
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
Born out of darkness
Sworn to be heartless
Torn down to small bits
Horns on a savage
Thorns deep in my head.
Mourn for the undead,
Formed all *******
Arms around their neck
Charmed into breaking them.
Because,
killing for me is evident
Don't you see the evidence
Gun residue from the next door residence..

With blood on my hands
I ran and I ran and I ran and I ran.
Didn't ever think I'd **** another man,
Dam, can I say it's self defense
would that even make some sense,
As he stood there weapon less.
Deep down I knew it was me or him.
So I started shooting
eyes close tight I didn't wanna do it.
What can we do tho
when devil keeps pushing
momma told me be careful where you point it.
I should've listened.
I should've listened.
I should've listened.
Now a family out there has a tragedy,
Cause their son is missing.
We're all a victim,
that's what I'll say as I plee innocent...
If a gun fell at your feet during a fight and you know it was you or him,
you'd pull the trigger to save your life from the fear of death we hold within.
If you say otherwise that's a fudging lie
Everyone wants to be alive.
So yeah I took his life
I'd do it again, twice!
Fudge it thrice!
anything to stay alive..

With ****** hands.
he's running, dam.
One last time to see his fam
tell his momma he's sorry
Let her know his story,
media outlets turn everything ugly..
So he's running all these thoughts rushing
his hearts pumping
that's when he hears the sound of a gun cocking.
Bang!
Everything stops then.

To be continued...
73 · Sep 2019
Bored of the view
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Something new
give me something new
Give me something new
Give me something new
Something new
give me something new
Give me something new
Give give something new
Something new
72 · Jun 2019
The wounded soldier.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
They laid there surrounded by broken glass and the smell of burning rubber, they couldn't move right away but they could hear everything. Others were yelling for help some were crying, asking God why? As if God was the one to be blamed for our sins and our destruction. They crawled to each other trying to hold one another for the last time knowing this was it, this was the end. They heard the whistling noise again, Boom! Another bomb came down a few blocks away, they rushed there, crawling, grasping at the ground trying to get to each other desperately. He was missing a leg but his love for her was so strong he did not feel pain he just kept crawling. She couldn't move anymore so she waited for him to reach her
The whistling noise came again this time closer than before, it hits the building above them and he sees the debris falling down. He lets out an agonizing yell as they stare at each other one last time. He sees her lips say I love you, then she's gone. He lays there with sadness and anger, asking God why? Why couldn't you let us die together? All we wanted was to be together why God, why? Everything around him shined white then he heard a voice ask him why. Why did you take part in this war and ****** your fellow brothers and sisters? Why have you taken away so many husbands and sons from their families? You ask me why I didn't give you the satisfaction of dying together with your lover. But how many others have missed out on this very opportunity because of your hand. Don't ask me why, just know this is the price for your sins. The voice was gone and the man lived on.
Hope you enjoy this short story.
72 · Oct 2019
Anxiety
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
Filled myself with this poisonous fear,
Only I can take blame for leading it here,
Looking for an out but I'm all chained up,
Like a fish in frozen water I remain stuck.
72 · Aug 2019
Alive not living
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
I really wish I could understand more
Plan for
Handle
All gore
Unload my stress
Take this of my chest
Coz I ain't even trying my best
I just act like life ain't sh**
While still holding on to it
So desperate,
Bcoz If i really hated it
I'd just call it quits
But I never do,
I have to tight a grip
Holding on to something I swear is harming me
still I wanna breathe.
72 · Sep 2019
Happy Birthday.
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Twenty seven years,
That's at least 20 million tears.
How the F I make it here,
Man I should've died
So many times,
But God always.
Save my life,
I wonder why?
I ain't that special,
I have a F'd up mental
Childhood was hospital beds, boo!
Broken bones.
Swollen throat, this was my life.
I don't just write, it's not a joke.
Can God tell me why he saved little a kid
Was it worth it,
After everything he did
Not to mention the person,
He's become.
Sometimes we all look up,
We ask a question...
the sky stays shut
We feel this pain
this thought of giving up.
But wait,
there's always someone there to say.
It's gonna be ok,
How they know.
Do they have proof they can show,
A posession that they hold
that'll give me a just a little bit of hope..
Welp the answer always nope,
It's just words, coming out they throat.
So.....
In thee end it doesn't matter where we go, I'm not suicidal, I'm just tired.
My surroundings are expired.
I'm over due in my time
A new place is what I need to find..
The place I'm in now...
isn't good for my mind....
72 · Jan 2022
Wrong turn
Anthony Collazo Jan 2022
Indulged by the fragrant smell
                       of
           her
bleach blonde hair

            At halt with a vacant stare,
                          Beneath

              A snaring glare
        A dare to share
  A stalk to hang,

        hidden deep behind a vacant stare
                   He hides no shame

     She'll notice his eyes at gaze

           She'll think him sane..

         Right of mind
                 but
       bad at thought

   Late one night she's left to rot

     Out of sight a special spot

          Bring the knives to form a plot,

  Flower beds so no ones caught

        Bring forth joy with every strife
               Bring forth joy to take a life.

          Evil smiles when evil works

           Evil smiles when evil hurts
            
Evil smiles when evil lurks

      Evil's
lust lays in the dirt
70 · Jun 2021
Stuck in my head
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
Sometimes I get,

stuck in my head,

Replaying all the **** that we said
Reliving all the **** that I did.

Sometimes I think,

This life is a trip,

Moment you fall asleep

You're scared awake
Back in the grip
Of a leather snake
That snaps at your neck,

We could all be great
But our thoughts and trust are a mess,

I'm a virtual recluse
nonetheless,

I try my best,

Not to stray to a noose.

Heart in chest..

It bleeds
Like little Kids,

with scraped knees.

We all live
but only some of us really breathe,

rest of us are struggling

some are worst in suffering
I've been cursed to not give in
I've been told I'm meant for things
I've been held up,
Lion King.

Call me Simba..

I'll leave,
come back again,

Change is something
I never did

I just ACT accordingly,

to surroundings.

It all depends who's around then,

DOESN'T make me fake!

look at all the greats
they didn't carry HATE
Learning how to act,

only elevates.

Try to regulate a better mindset,

Before your mind sets
in a place you'll regret...

Everyone makes mistakes

Everyone's trying to change

Everyone thinks the strange

Everyone points to blame

Everyone ain't the same!!

I will never be like none of y'all...

One of a kind,

word to God..

I'm a God

I'm a king

ima have everything
I ever wanted,

First I need to take a step
out of my head,

Because the thoughts like to spread

Causing dread
Dangling of a thread..

The noose is hung up
take a step
I might just wind up dead
With some regrets

Thinking of everything
I could've done or could've been,


Stuck inside my head.
69 · Jul 2019
What is love tho?
Anthony Collazo Jul 2019
These words are worst than a punch
They'll go through your soul,
Make you lose touch
Make us think love is not enough.
I'm so ****** up my thoughts have rot,
I'm stuck inside a box,
I climbed into, it was for fun.
Didn't think that I get stuck
Now I'm looking up,
waiting for someone to pull me out.
been long a time now,
I know they won't come
I think love is just a sound
That we make with our mouth.
I love you. yeah me too.
Next week, your thinking wow.
How could they leave,
a month later you feel relieved.
Cause now deep down you believe
You didn't need anybody
I think it's funny.
The deception of love,
It's imperfect to all
Still we search for it like when looking for jobs.
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
My mind keeps taking me back to the happy memories the rooms filled with laughter and family,
Even tho I know that's not the case,
I can't stand to look at your ******* face,
I'll sit down to take a break
Stand back up and **** my teeth
Tell me what it was
that changed our history
tell me what I did that you can't forgive
Bcoz I've been trying hard as **** to keep you in,
Even when my heart keeps trying to pump you out
Tell me what I did wrong so we can figure this **** out.
If you haven't noticed I'm still around
I'll come to town,
I'll let you know I'm coming down
But you never show up,
come on now!
I got two kids,
I don't got time for special visits
If you wanna be part of my life make yourself present.

I'm done trying to impress my friends
I'm done trying to keep you in
I'm done trying to keep my family from falling apart
I'm done trying to fix everyone
So **** em all.
I'm done caring..

"bcoz on Thanksgiving
Yah made it clear
This family ain't even worth the saving.
****!"

maybe some of yah was with it
The rest,
PATHETIC.
oh did I hit a nerve with that word.
Good,
They say I've been feeling cold
it's the weather It's about to snow.

Sometimes I feel God gave me a role that I can't control
a place in life
that I can't let go
your face with mine
they'll never glow
Not like before

It's more like the emoji sticker everyone thought was chocolate ice cream a long time ago.
****..

It's like the harder I try the harder things become for us idk..

A replacement for my memories is all I really need, some better energy.
erase every body who doesn't **** with me everyone who says New York is changing me
Everyone who fake smiles in my face
All you ******* need to be replaced. I dont give a **** if you think this ***** wrong
I dont care if it's just stage I'm on
Just coz we're in different states,
You wanna act like strangers, done.
ok great now no need to be fake
I'll put this **** out in the open
be warned,
ODD the bad omen has awoken
more of that topic will be spoken
for now just know that I'm broken.
Never hopeless always hoping
maybe this **** is just for the moment.
I really hope it cause growing up ****

We'd ride to die,
you was always by my side we planned out our whole life's as we talked outside now it hurts to see that ******* look in your eyes.
A ******* look I despise
this is goodbye to you guys mostly the ones in disguise,
I can't stand by a person who doesn't try
While I'm handing out smiles and **** like mister nice guy trying to crack jokes  like the old times all I ever get is false replies
like I can't see how you really feel through those human eyes.
It's no surprise...


I remember summer nights we'd ride our bikes
I remember sitting down while picking fights
I remember we used to play fight and
real fight,
Nothing got in our way.
I remember boat fishing.
searching places with our flashlights
I remember working out in our basement while listening to linkiin park for the first time.
I remember alot of accidents
You was always part of it!

I remember my best friends..

I guess these Memories is all I have left.
67 · Dec 2019
Anxiety 2.0
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
My anxiety, it's been haunting me.
One variety, it's come threatening.
Innocent, is what I think.
I don't deserve to live like this
To live like this, it's so hellish
An antidote, is what I wish.
I'm desperate!
When I walk by and they all laugh
i think a joke has hit,
I wonder who they're targeting
If the targets me..
Now that's anxiety!
I know, the dangerous variety
Cause I can't trust in
no human.
Yet I want to be with them,
I want to be accepted in.
So late at night I toss and turn
Cause now I know it's all coming,
Those voices they won't stop talking...
Can you hear the words?

They're beautiful,

but yet haunting.
67 · Jan 2023
The root
Anthony Collazo Jan 2023
Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain
These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage
I can't breathe. You're my tree
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you, there's no me.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head
I'll fall..

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think..
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing the same people act like they're ok .

I can see past your flesh.
I can see past your lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life

Mister sweet heart,
mommas little angel, but down deep, they know I was danger.

The therapy
psychiatry
the medicine
The punishments
the lack of love filled with neglect
The hungry days won't go away
This messy home where I was raised
The secrets that I'll take to grave
With ****** hands, my soul,
the price I'd have to pay..

For all the sins I committed for being raised without proper supervision

Like a disease, I spread my infection. Who knows how many lives I've affected for having such selfish intentions.

This guilt
A collection,
it builds with suspension.
All a child needs is protection.
This reflection only shows my rejection and the holes never filled with affection,

I suppose this is why I'm different
This is why I don't fit in
This is why I don't want this
This life keeps me haunted with the past

I should've died on that rope.

Or under that truck on the road,

I should've died when I got in that car with that guy I didn't know
But God had other goals,

So that day, it poured rain as I ran home, and the blood stain washed away from my clothes,
I'm alive, but the price is my soul
Take a life, and that's how it goes.

That pocket knife was lunged in his throat!
wide eyes as he made ****** jokes.
I chose my life, but I lost all my hope

But the second his hand reached my thigh,

I didn't think twice, my trust, my pride he overstepped that line.
I'm not fine. I've never been,

The fear in his eyes I was feeling it

But that's life,
the fear of never wanting to die.
While fighting to prove you're alive.
67 · Feb 2021
Judged by my Surface
Anthony Collazo Feb 2021
Evil was beside himself,
he never really had nobody else.

He never took care of his health,
he never cared what others thought
Cause deep inside he knew he was,

made to rot.

It all goes back to that first thought
when all was dark and all was black
when there was no sign of a thought
emotions lacked
He held them back
He learned to act and take attacks and when he snips,
They all get mad.

Ahahaha!

Its fun for him
The game thats played

Its fun for him
The **** they say

He knows they're weak and tempting him

They're trying to stir the ***
He's in,

but this guy's been kicked
since he was,

a little kid...

He stepped in ****,
And took a lick
his sick as ****
Just look at him
Perverted ****
I'm sick of him

But they keep lurking in
With **** to say,

Its on replay
Oh blah blah blah

You're not a threat
You're ignorant
and childish!

You're full of ****..

Everytime he speaks they ******* cringe but they're watching him like a netflix binge

Identity- is

im-per-fec-ted

Yet they think he should be perfect

Like they're perfect

no ones perfect

But it'll be worth it,
As he keeps working
On whats inside,

Oh **** the surface!
Yeah **** the surface
when your insides hurting

So keep on judging
And ill keep on working..

In the end we will see who's the better person...

Just don't lose focus on how you act when someone's in the rut eating scraps,
when someone's in the slums living with rats and roaches all that gross ****,
dont lose focus on how you act

Cause when they make it
You're gonna want a pay day
When they make it,
the haters will come say

Hey!
I knew you could do it,

Yeah ******* trick
I knew I could do it,
Commitment and focus
And alot of dead ends

But wait!!

til the end
Evil always wins...
66 · Nov 2019
Life story
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
Broken arms
Broken legs
Used to have a mark around my neck
You don't know what it's like
to be close to death,
He took my breath
All this water starting coming in
He's my bestest friend.
There's no pretend
He wants me dead...
It's been like that since I was born
(My mom told me the doc almost dropped me on the floor.)
So I'm not just saying it
to say it I mean it when I say it,
Death has been the closes friend
From beginning to my end.
He's always there just waiting
In anticipation I'm pretty sure he's anxious, an ancient soul with more patience and only one goal.

Tenacious, so I won't let go
There's more, so much more
Yes so much more.
So many things I haven't seen before
So many flavors that never touch my tounge, I want it all,
every feeling that touches our skin,
I wanna experience everything
before I ever loosen my grip
Before I take that single breath
Before I lose the spirit we have within
I want see it
Touch it
Smell it
Taste it
And live it all
Death can keep calling but I'm not ready to take that call.
Never have I ever
Is something I never ever wanna say
I want stories I can tell for days
I want passionate moments with truth in them.
I want to much to write down,
But I don't ever want to die, now.
Cause I've already drowned,
only darkness stood around.
When the bump of my heart stopped it's pound.
It wasn't the first time either cause before that I stopped breathing
bad fever.
Even then darkness stood all around
No sense of touch,
thoughts or a single sound...

I'm that one family member everyones worried about, that one person that can make you smile but doesnt ever smile when he comes around.
66 · Jul 2023
Without
Anthony Collazo Jul 2023
I'm broken,
all these words left unspoken
inside my mind,
commotion all the time
The motion that they ride
To destroy what is mine
Self sabotage, but it's fine

enjoying my life like beer,
the sweetness of decorous words
A Hecklers curse.

spread rumors among birds,

(Chirp chirp)

Learned to handle pressure just to rise above herds,

I don't care what you heard
I'm a man on the verge
Losing all that I've earned,
Cruising fast down the road
Hit a bump, then I swerved
But I won't lose control.

That's what I thought, (right)
Now I'm burned in a urn,

If I crash,
you must know..

I hit a wall and relapsed,
so I'm back with the smoke.

I hit a wall, too relaxed
enjoying what I broke.

I hit a wall and then collapsed
I'm lying on this road.

Everything around me feels bitter and cold.
No better than I was at 20 years old

the older I grow,
the harder it is.
to let things go,

I'm reaching for my soul,
I'm looking at my goals
I'm thinking of my fam
I'm trying to watch them grow,

Instead, im bleeding out slow gasoline on the asphalt feeling weak, won't move, can't talk,
hear the beat of my heart stop
as the spark starts.
66 · Oct 2020
Would you
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
If I jumped would you watch me
If I'd fall would you catch me
If I'm sad would you hug me
If I'm mad you won't touch me

Every moment I think carefully
Then I see you walk around carelessly
I wonder if your love would match that of mine
I wonder if you are the other half I'm supposed to find

But then I wonder what would you do
If I fell for you, if you saw me sad would you hug me too and if I get mad would you see us through
I'd jump at the chance to know the truth
65 · Jun 2019
No title
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
What's happened to us
We've been falling apart
We used to be like a door and a ****
A curtain and rod
like wine and some cheese
or chips with the dip
Us together,
the perfect of fits.
65 · Jan 2021
The death of nature
Anthony Collazo Jan 2021
Pan is said to have died when people ceased to worship nature and the wild. People stopped worshiping the nature spirits, the Naiads, the nymphs etc.
In fact it is almost widely accepted that the death of Pan marked the advent of theology and Christianity. It is said that Christ was born as soon as Pan died ( It is not clear whether Christ was born after Pan died or Pan died after Christ was born ). People stopped worshiping the nature and started worshiping Christ. As a result nature went un-acknowledged and Pan “died”.
The other god is Asclepius; God of Medicine, Healing, and Rejuvenation.
His myth is very different. Asclepius is said to have been killed by Zeus as Asclepius had brought back Hippolytus back from the dead in exchange for gold. This angers Hades who asks Zeus to **** him. Zeus kills him with his thunderbolt.
It is said that later Zeus brings him back and orders him not to bring back anyone from the dead without his permission
Copied
63 · Jul 2021
Son of God
Anthony Collazo Jul 2021
What kind of future do you want, hmm.
I can't really get a thought, thruuu.
Wondering what direction I'll go, too....


There's no proof..
on how to live

We just copy other men
Other trends..

others might just
accept us in,
if we pretend

Hiding our pain under false pretense
But the music in the back ground
It plays suspense,

You're smiling in public but the pains sunked in

You're drunk in addiction and bad habits

You're stuck with an anger
you've had since a kid...


Sad little outcast stuck in a frame with alot of bad contrast harassed with no shame,

Leyfred is my past.

let it be 87 again

Before I was born into a world full of sin,

when my eyes didn't analyze
every moment I live,

Wondering,
what if

again and again
And again
And again!!

And the gain,

is a pain an invisible weight
without a restraint

And to hate is a shame,
everyone's just
trying to live

To compete is the same,
It's always better to give

Understanding instead of trying to argue and fight over things,


Comprehending...

we're all human beings,

Trying to rise up above evil doings.....


Every struggle you face
Is preparation for the future that's paved

Everything that you say
could be heard out of context,

Then exploited in ways

That would lead all astray

Never feel the need to explain

This life is all staged
Everyone plays the same game,

So make sure your batteries are charged

It goes on for decades..

Some sellout,

some never change,

Some evolve,

Some are just strange,

Some are lost

Some are the same..


Son of God

That's who I am...
63 · May 2020
Funny little song I wrote
Anthony Collazo May 2020
I don't do nothing
No I dont do nothing
I dont do nothing
No I don't do a single thing

Shes always talking
And it ain't that gossip
It's always non sense

Cause she's trying to say
that I dont do ****

What!

Yo I swear this chick has lost her ****

Before me who did everything

I mean before me it was just you
All alone,
in a home taking care of yo self
But now you got me and you want me to do everything without any help

What the hell
This isn't love or relationship
Its ownership,
you're trying to own a *****
But I ain't no ***** you the one who's gonna wash that dish go on get ******
You ain't gon do **** except probably
Scream be mean throw ****
With look on your face that's so UGLY.

Oh ****! (Duck)

I don't do nothing
No I dont do nothing
I dont do nothing
No I don't do a single thing


I swear everytime I get comfortable that's when you come in the room
With a ****** mood,
I should probably swing at you
But I never would I mean I never could
I'll just trip you
then say oops...

Run away with a silly grin on my face
Like hee hee hee

You can't catch me

But you will catch me
washing dishes
Sweeping
mopping
scrubbing toilets
All this for one purpose

You already know it.

Giggity
I'm trying get jiggly and wiggily
under the blanket
with my *****
and she won't touch my ******
unless I go and clean
62 · Oct 2019
Slaves
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
Do you remember those days when we were young and naive where we would believe anything said by anybody.
Those days of innocence,
we didn't really know things
It seems the second you learn new lessons you start to view life in a different image.
As if we're so alike,
we're not different.
You lose trust once,
then it seems like you can never give it.
We've exchanged our imagination and vivid imagery with thoughts of hate and jealousy giving up on creativity because now we don't just believe what's said, we live in it. We took those words of advice for granted thinking we had our two feet planted thinking this world can't stop me, now we're damaged.
So do you remember those days?
Where our parents paid for our freedom while we played with our best friends.
While we enjoyed and basked in the life that was given, now those words of advice are returning,
All those lectures and times you were told things. You thought you had it figured it out like you know what life was when you've barely been living.
Now reflect on what happens every day ask yourself where's the fun and time to play, oh right that's every weekend Friday Saturday, sometimes Sunday.
Every other moment your a slave,
You just don't see the chains..
62 · Sep 2019
Untitled
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I hate people but want friends.
62 · Dec 2019
Old history
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I grew up around violence and bad things,
Blood gushing,
broken bones.
People screaming out for help
I swear that is was hell,
But, it also felt like home
it's the place I like to go when I'm alone
All the sins I've done
I should atone
Never will, that's a nope.
Why ask for forgiveness,
when it's never that authentic, no!
When they say that they accept it, soooo.
I rather let my soul just rot with all the thoughts I got about the things I did as a younger kid,
cause I'm still a kid only difference is my age is different but inside I'm still a kid hoping maybe this is it maybe this is the one way to release.
If I ask for forgiveness,
you'd say yes but your eyes don't agree.

I can see they don't agree
I can see they don't like me
I can see it's not the same

I've caused alot pain
Never sat down to explain
Never said,
I'm sorry to your face
Just a text or post,
your reply,
always the same
something,
like it's ok.
It's just a phase we'll make it past this.
It's just the day,
I'm not to certain
When that will be.
But I promise it'll be
just like the old times you and me,
me and you us together stuck like glue
I know that's corny that's the old me you don't see,
You're focused on the misery
all my trickery,
our old history
to solve this injury now that's the mystery,
I'll get all jittery
I'll never have this victory!
Tell me it's not witchery
When you lose your family
Cuz of something bad you did,
They can't forgive even tho they say they did
their eyes speak differently,
It's something you can see
You can't hear it with your ears
Trust your senses,
they are clear...
That family isn't here
They disappeared,
I'll show no tears
even if it means for years
Just know the day we reunite
We'll have a couple beers
have some cheers..
hopefully then..
They are real.
I hope one day true forgiveness can be given bcoz deep down I have a hatrid that I've found.
61 · Jul 2020
Human being, being human
Anthony Collazo Jul 2020
I'm wondering,

why is it such a struggle
to be a human being,
why is it so hard
to be alive and breathing
Why are we scarred
left mentally bleeding
Hiding the tears so no one can see them

Why is it

when

things get hard
the first thought

Is

**** this I'm leaving!!

Why you keeping me at distance

Haven't you seen the marks

they're just like wristbands

They're all around my heart,

You can not miss em..

you actually do

Another face in a crowd

Do I even know you..

Why is it we don't say alot of things out loud
we hold these words in
letting them tear us down

Limb by limb

But you won't

hear a sound,

Even when my eyes
Are full sadness
You'll just focus on my smile
hoping that I'll manage

you wouldn't want to be a part of my life if you knew I was damaged

To all the people I've abandoned
I'm sorry
This clown has been lost in madness



I just hate it because
I swear I'm surrounded by Angels
even when every turn
I take is screaming out danger

I'll take that step,
I could never hate you
Still I have no regrets
To way that we got here

To try and replace you would be like shifting into a fake gear
Car wouldn't get anywhere
you're one of a kind
I love you my dear..


I made alot bad moves
Trusted in all the wrong dudes
Try fit in with ****** world views

God gave me a perspective unlike any other
still I'm not perfect
I'm trying to do better


it's just hard when you lose yourself
When you try to give it all to god
Then they make you think
that's not enough,

That's when you'll stop showing love
That's when you'll stop looking up

You wanna fit in so badly

That's when you'll start feeling dark

That's when your mind starts thinking stuff
making you doubt everyone you ever knew and loved

Making you feel like you're not good enough,

I won't be the first


I hope I'm not the last

To tell you
it's to let go of the past
It's ok to give someone a pass
It's ok to open up and laugh

You don't have to over think everything

over thinking everything

In a small explanation is-

We're all boats and every negative thought is another sink hole
Stop letting them in,

let it all go

Forget about the pain

I promise with God beside you you'll see yourself grow.

I promise with God beside you you'll always feel whole

Let it all go....
61 · Oct 2019
Lets call it growing
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I used to be a kid with nothing
Living in the suburbs
Never using curse words
Then I lost something,
They say,
it's God given.
This spirit,
that lives within
Which is now a grown kid,
Adult with no super vision given.
60 · Apr 2021
PAIN
Anthony Collazo Apr 2021
No one listens to our pain
But if we go missing
It would rain,

Thats when they pour in
to come and say,
Great lad
Great gal

We could've stopped it-

you didn't.

We didn't notice-
you did tho.

You just ignored it-
uncomfortable

That's why I'll never be vulnerable!
Until the day I'm ready to let it all go
60 · Jun 2021
Mind the thoughts
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
Try to regulate a better mindset
Before your mind sets
in a place you'll regret
Negative thoughts are a powerful thing especially when the thoughts are constant you have to learn to tackle those thoughts with positively or just change them all together distract the mind whenever a Negative thought enters it.
60 · Sep 2019
I'm just.
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I'm not happy.
I'm just smiling,
I'm not alive,
I'm just living.
I'm not hopeful,
I'm just hoping.
59 · Jun 2020
Sue eh cide
Anthony Collazo Jun 2020
Great patience
surrounded by great hatrid
Can't take this
might just slit a wrist then take a lick
59 · Dec 2019
Old history Part 2
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I heard growing teaches you
how others feel
I hope it's real
cuz this pain I can not deal
with,
it's too intense
It takes my breath
I'm close to death
It leaves me gasping,
With a pain in chest
My deepest depth
Is like I lost you
But.
You aren't dead
We're just living seperate
With thoughts and memories
we can't forget
I hope you think as much of them
As I do now,
it's no pretend
When you miss someone.
you spent,
your days loving
Holding them,
in the back
of your head
Like a shrine of- remembrance
Remembering
is the thing that hurts most,
it hurts to hurt
I hate to hurt..
broken wing
on a little bird,
I'm that little bird!
the wings a metaphor
My heart's what's really sore!
What's worst is you're the source
Still I want you back of course
Isn't that what love is for.
58 · Feb 2021
Exchange
Anthony Collazo Feb 2021
People change, this world is strange it always plays with how we choose,
To
behave
In exchange we're left astray with those we loved,
Communicate and open up thats what they say, but everyone's shut.
58 · Oct 2019
Starting over
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
The only way to start a new,
is to let go of stuff you knew.
Let your mind go find
the bestest way to make you fly.
58 · Oct 2020
I'm bitter I mean better
Anthony Collazo Oct 2020
You'll never be better than anyone by trying to be better than everyone only when you're better than yourself will you be better.
56 · Dec 2019
Dark truth
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I keep telling myself I haven't changed
A story I tell myself to go to bed.
I can't argue with the thoughts inside my head,

Why?

Well, they're making sense.

The numbers keep adding up
I'm told to ignore that stuff
Instead,
I'm all ears in
listening to every thought
Getting stuck with
mood swings
Trust issues and stomach grunts,
Waking up late at night coz of tummy knots and voices that like talk alot.

I'd ask God for help but my faith is gone
replaced with everything
I think is wrong,
still I'll play along,
With a pacey song
I keep alot of thoughts that don't belong
Holding onto pain won't make you strong!
they also say
what doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
Sooo,
I'll just try a little longer to convince myself I didn't cuff and imprison my mental health in a shattered hell with a different type of kind that's
unhinged..
unwell,
blinded by beliefs of fairytales
Thinking that the peace means all ends well.

Sacrifices first!

Then we shall..

See
the
peace
Prevail
56 · Oct 2019
Sigh*
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
It's depressing
to live in a world that's broken
and infected with so much hatrid
56 · Jun 2021
The good guy
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
I'm an evil villain painted in the darkest image,

everyone thinks

I'm just an idiot

I don't care
I'm just living,

Look at my teeth
ugh
They're  hideous!

I'm a miscreant,
I'm too serious, inconsiderate,

I'm in need of immediate assistance

But...

not single human gets me,

so I keep my distance
Never had a best friend,

always the third wheel,

This pattern is consistent
been that way since way back when

20

Oh

6


When everyone thought the world would end
six
six
six

I wasn't created
to
fit
In,

I was born for greater things.

When I spread my wings
They'll look up

Is it a bird
Is it a plane,

Nah
I know exactly what they'll say
One word..

LAME!

Ahahaha

Shame me..
blame me..
hate me ..
Rate me..

You're just mad.
you don't phase me.

Shame me..
Blame me..
Hate me..
Rate me..

You're just mad.
you don't phase me.

Ahahaha!!
55 · Aug 2021
Have
Anthony Collazo Aug 2021
You ever felt lonely,
surrounded by love
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