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735 · Sep 2019
No rest
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Lately I've been losing sleep,
counting sheep ain't helping me
my OCD is killing me,
with late night things,
I barely blink,
cuz all I think.
it's coming soon
It's coming quick
I can not snooze
My eyes will squint
I might doze off, a lil bit.
But that's just it, a lil bit.
It's always just, a lil bit
A lil smidge a lil bit..
It's always just a lil bit.
Read it like a slow song emotional song.
675 · Oct 2019
Real
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I just want to look at this photo
In the future,
knowing the laughs and giggles
weren't just for the picture
Take photos in the moment of happiness, it's far more authentic.
434 · Jun 2021
Don't
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
Do not let what others think of you become what you think of yourself
Read it again.
379 · Sep 2021
Sight
Anthony Collazo Sep 2021
Don't lose sight of the things that you need when you're faced with the things that you want

Cause the greed is like a wreath
It looks pretty but a loops all you see
366 · Oct 2021
Authenticity
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
I'd cry
but I've tried

Forcing tears,

out My eyes

Yet

it never feels authentic

Always feels,

pretended

Emotions
are
expected

Then I..

project them,


But it never feels authentic
You might say I'm pathetic
Just a charlatan
who plays a part
when expected
354 · Oct 2019
Happy
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I wanna see you sooo happy,
That it makes me happy.
328 · Oct 2021
I write music
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
Desperate times,

Call for

despair in rhymes
I like writing music and in one of my sad songs this line stands out the best bcoz as a writer it couldn't be quoted any better
305 · Aug 2019
What is
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
What is life for,
If not to be the person you are.
What he die for,
Leaving us cursed from beyond.
What is love for,
If people just quit and give up.
What is worth more,
The peace or the thought it exist.
291 · Jan 2021
The wounded
Anthony Collazo Jan 2021
Ignore the ignorance of the ignorant let them keep bickering,
They speak of illiterate,
They see a vigorous factor and try to tear down the foundations it postures.
Snickering like children's laughter
They're all lost and know not what there after,
Use a belligerent tone
Articulate the words and make whats yours be owned,
Act like you do when alone
Do not let fake attributes insert your fragile dome.
284 · Aug 2021
Untitled
Anthony Collazo Aug 2021
dont think that this version of self

Means that the curtains have fell

Certain things can lead you to hell

Be assertive,

knowing all ends well.

The surface has air.
277 · Aug 2021
Tick tock
Anthony Collazo Aug 2021
We used to talk every weekend

Now I'm drinking and smoking til the week ends

It doesn't make sense

Cause back then we were bestfriends

You were the one,

I would tell everything too
Now we can't be in the same room

One wrong move..


Everything goes boom!

You were a bomb strapped to my chest

I gave you my best

but the clock was ticking
I didn't know it

I didn't know yet

Til the bomb went
BOOM!!

You blew me to bits

Surrounded by fumes of what could've been.

I sit here and think

what did I do
Like the problems not you.
248 · Sep 2019
Party time
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
We should throw a party,
Only the antisocial and outcasts are invited.
246 · Dec 2019
Back stabbers tune
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I'm gon'
leave a ****** trail
towards a well
With a funky smell
Covered in larvae infested shells
That dwell the flies of hell's demise
A swell of lives,
husband and wives
Like Edward's hands
I'm full of knives.
There's no surprise
When you yell why!
Insert like coins,
in your backside...

So in other words,
I'm a backstabber.
244 · Aug 2019
Selfish
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
I act selfish
I can't help it
I'm never sharing,
Nope not time yet.
Cloaked in madness
I act selfless
So when you ask
How am I doing,
I don't share.
My true feelings.
242 · May 2022
Better than yesterday
Anthony Collazo May 2022
Dear God,

it's been a while since I've spoken to you 2015 I was all about you
posted online all these poems about you
Then I changed minds,
a very wrong move.
I've been defined as heartless and rude
I've undermined the power in you
I lost my faith
I lost my hope,
Fell on my face,
my heart had broke.

I can't retrace the steps that I take.

Like a foot print in the snow
You can't back track it won't be the same
The pattern would look all weird and strange
I've tried my best to behave
All on my own it's not the same
You gave me strength I gave you faith
I lost myself and changed my ways
Invoked the Devil to come and play
Now I ask my soul you save
Before the bells ring and sway....

I know I'm better than yesterday.
237 · Sep 2021
I'm allowed
Anthony Collazo Sep 2021
Sometimes i gotta remind myself..

I'm allowed to be loved

I'm allowed to be free

I'm allowed to be happy

I'm allowed to be me.
235 · Jun 2021
T.O.H.Y.W.T.B.T
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
I treat others
how they treat me
so if you don't like the treatment
well then treat me better/
or we'll,
all act bitter

Ruin every get together
You can not handle the pressure

You are too tender,
tethered with an aggressor

God's our possessor
at the end of the day

life's an adventure
I won't surrender.
Treat others how you want to be treated
227 · Apr 2016
broken
Anthony Collazo Apr 2016
Can't u see that I'm broken inside the exterior shows it all I have nothing to hide,
Still I feel like this picture isn't drawn clearer cuz I'm yelling inside and no one can hear me,
No one can hear the screaming in here its just me and my shadowing fears,
Shadowing fears that drown me in sorrow always have me wondering if there is a tomorrow,
A tomorrow where I can pick up my broken pieces and see the lessons this life teaches,
Bcuz this life teaches so many wonderful things only u can choose what to do with the will within,
The will within all of us which we control some of us forget how and loosen the grip we hold,
The grip we hold that helps u move forward and those who lose it eventually get cornered.
219 · Dec 2019
I write
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
I write poems
I write poetry
I write songs
I write love stories
I write dark
I write alot
I write my thoughts
I write,

so it doesn't become an act.
206 · Aug 2019
Give me
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Give me back the day of no stress
The days where every moment was adventurous
Give me the time where riding my bike was my life,
Give me that adrenaline that you get,
Cuz I've been missing it,
reliving it,
talking about the things we did.
day dreaming bout when I was a kid.
196 · Aug 2020
Forget the pain
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
May the mind of the broken rest
in the pond of forgets
where the past chains break free
from the pillars of regret
We often allow our selves to be overwhelmed with things that have long passed remember the lesson that it brought but realease all the stressing that is done
195 · Jun 2019
My lord
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
The lord is my pillar
The lord is my home
The lord is a killer
To sins in my dome
The lord is a hero
The lord is a pro
The lord is my saviour
Forgiveness bestowed
The lord is the light
The lord is so bright
The lord you should fear,
stricken with fright!
Can you not hear,
The lord is in sight
The lord is my shield
The lord knows the deal
I'm weak when I kneel
I'm not made of steel
I'm fake but I'm real
I hate when I feel
I can't eat a meal,
I try to conceal
So my pain won't unseal
Or reveal the ordeal
But the lord knows the deal
The lord's all I'll feel
The lord is my reel.
The lord you should praise
The lord do not hate
The lord is our grace
Just stare at your face,
Remember we're great!
195 · Jul 2021
Cry
Anthony Collazo Jul 2021
Cry
As a man it's perfectly fine to cry,

our emotions don't die with age

they are buried under pain and rage.
194 · Apr 2016
blind men walking
Anthony Collazo Apr 2016
Like a blind man I walk on this path slowly,
wondering about this and that and trying to stay holy,
But in this world its hard to remain pure of heart,
Because there are so many things that can tear us apart,  
A word has no meaning until you put it there,
but we are so blinded by our assumptions and hate to be aware,
So we keep creating the cracks in the system,
no matter the strength of the ground it eventually sinks in,
Because nothing is forever not even that safety that you feel,
as you hide behind of what you believe to be real,
you wouldn't add black to a colorful rainbow,
and you wouldn't add horns to a beautiful angel,
But you can treat your family members like complete strangers,
something is wrong and we don't see the dangers,
Maybe when we awake from our dream, we will see how things really are, compared to how they seem.
186 · Mar 2021
Thanks G
Anthony Collazo Mar 2021
Today I woke up. Thanks.
185 · Sep 2021
Flames
Anthony Collazo Sep 2021
Compassion over wealth

Not

wealth over health,

this world is going to hell

Burning is all I smell.
168 · Sep 2019
The mirror
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
I don't like what I'm noticing
it's my reflection,
I'm smirking
But I see he's hurting.
So many imperfections
So much agression
So scared of rejection
Is that a slight hint of depression
Maybe it's time this kid accepts it acceptance is something he aint never getting rejection is his best friend.
166 · Oct 2019
The voices
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
A dark night
without any moonlight
No street lamps that shine bright
Only nothingness,

A will to fight, yeah..
The taste of judgement
This feeling you're different
You'll never fit in.

Acceptance,
It's been the only thing you've
Ever wanted,
At arms length
But even then you barely grasp it.

These thoughts
come into your head
They starting talking,
Making you wonder.
Making you doubtful,
Making it hurt more
Making it hurt more

Nobody wants this darkness
Nobody wants this loneliness
Hopelessness,
cry to sleep
Still you're restless
Your chest it hurts
when your breathing,
is out of control.
You're gasping!

Like you're drowning in tears,
Everytime you know it's coming
You feel a little bit of fear,
Coz you know
even tho it makes you feel good
Just a little,
to let it all go.
That darkness and those voices
Don't ever let go.

It happens with friends and family
Maybe you walk by some people who laugh and you wonder what's funny..
Feel a little uncomfortable,
Sooo,
you keep yourself in this little bubble.
Thinking if you don't let anyone near,
You'll never have to fear,
The judgment,
gossip,
The hatrid
nonsense,
The critics.
The ones that are plastic
The back stabbers
The users, abusers
Accusers of nothing
The. ...
STOP IT!!!

We're talking to the voices now,
Didn't you know?
This whole poem was the conversation
We all have alone..

Coz even when it's your bestfriend
or family members
That little voice in your head makes
You wonder the stupidest things.
164 · Sep 2019
?
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
?
Why can't we just treat each other how we want to be treated, why do people have to be so... ___
Fill in the blanks
163 · Aug 2020
Sleeping with my words
Anthony Collazo Aug 2020
If I could sleep with my words

I would

I'd cuddle them nice and good

Lay in a bed of words
The pillow the frame and all
Let them surround me whole

Four walls will make the room
Each side a different mood

One side of cheer and laughs
One side of pain and nags
One side of goals and wants
One side that hates and taunts

This room is where I'll lay
Whenever I'm astray
Heart ache any type of pain
This is where I'll go
To give rest to my soul

So even if I'm lost

One thing I've always known
I'm not alone
when I lay down with my poems
Do you lay in bed while writing poems I know I do.
158 · Oct 2019
Test
151 · Oct 2019
My best-ex-friend
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
It's been 600 days,
since I've seen your face.
Don't really know what words to say
If I ask how you been,
you'll say ok.
Even tho that's a lie
that's over played.
Out of date
It doesn't matter either way,
it's what you say...

I try to make a sentence,
Instead I mumble nonsense
Now I'm feeling anxious
We used to be bestfriends,

Used to be...

We decide to stop,
frequently.
I'm mad at you
or
you're mad at me.

Used to be...

We could say anything freely
without any worry
of judgement or resentment
Now it's just alot of pretending.

Used to be...

You and me
We'd do anything
And everything together
Didn't matter when
Didn't matter who was there,

We were friends.

Like REALLY friends!

We just wanted each others company
Each others help with anything..

We were truly innocent..
Then both of us,
Learned of hatrid,
We became vindictive
no more trust to give

Yeah we'll say
we're best friends
That's the image
everyones used too,

Picture frames from holidays and birthdays... and other occasions...
You're in all of them
I'm in all of it..

How'd the coin ever flip?

Tell me was it our fault
It all crumbled down to bits?

Maybe,
Or it could be
Maybe
Or it should be
Maybe

It would all be,

Alright
If we learned to talk, not fight..

Let our emotions out
Waterfalls might come crashing down

But I'd be proud!

To say I'm sorry out loud,

if it meant I'd keep you around..
We often let pride get in the way of great connections, we hate being wrong so we choose to move on.
150 · Jun 2021
HFD
Anthony Collazo Jun 2021
HFD
Happy Father's day
149 · Feb 2023
Without you there's no me
Anthony Collazo Feb 2023
Sometimes, we don't have a choice
We do what we can to enjoy.

What a pain

These thoughts keep me drained
I tug at my chains
But I can't break free
From bad habits
It's a shame just to see
My whole life, I've been damaged
Sometimes, I wanna scream to at the top of my lungs, but the breath inside wouldn't manage.

you're my tree
shed your pain upon me
Every leaf, a release
of your stress and your needs
This oxygen is not the same.
Without you I can't breathe.

I'll fall to my knees as I beg, and I plea
I'll fall to my knees as I pray for the day
I'll fall to my knees as I put this gun to my head,

I'll fall.

With tears in my eyes,
I'll squeeze as I cry
Inside, I think...
I don't wanna die!!

but staying alive would be painful,
and I...

I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of seeing people pretend they're ok.

I can see past their flesh.
I can see past their lies
I can see I'm the problem.
It's been like that all my life.
144 · Aug 2019
Idk
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Idk
I got everything I could ask for,
N- even then I want more,
Is it selfish, am I heartless.
Could I be someone I impress.
Coz lately,
I ain't liking my image..
139 · Aug 2019
Smiles
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Here we go another day,
with a smile on my face
I cant seem to replace
even tho the grinnings fake
139 · Aug 2019
Photo shopped
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
All these people putting fake smiles in these pics.
Idgaf just let the camera click.
They be scared to let them see who they really is.
So they posting fake images,
No witnesses, no one to snitch
No one to say..
Yo what is this.
Just the likes they're get-ting
the hearts that make em grin,
Makes them feel wanted,
accepted, loved,
oh my god it's all fake it don't mean ****
Especially if you're not the one behind the pic.
136 · Oct 2019
Just talking
Anthony Collazo Oct 2019
I feel like my mind has more than one writer, I review my writing and see so many differences, it's strange. Perhaps I have another personality I dont know about. It takes over and writes heartfelt things, then I come to write nonsense LOL.
127 · Aug 2019
Hoping
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Come to me for you closure,
You know that when I'm closer
The winds blow a little softer.
The weather gets a lot better,
Tell me that,
I'm what you're after.
I've been set up,
with some disasters.
You wouldn't believe the aftermath
A destructed path..
The pain I felt it was so bad.
The worst gift I'd ever have..
A black box, with a black bow,
I opened it fast,
Cause I didn't know
The bulshit it had,
Even after closing it up
It was expose to my soul,
Now It has a dark little spot..
the brightness you got I feel
It might make it glow,
So ask me to stay don't tell me to go.
Tell me if we got something special or no?
124 · Aug 2019
Kid's.. A blessing?
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
It's hard to watch them grow up,
Knowing all the bad stuff,
Knowing that their soul,
will be ripped apart.
What's the goal,
why'd Noah make the ark,
Tell me
was this world really worth saving,
I think not.
Every human is fake or rot,
Don't tell me,
that you're not
I've seen it all,
I know what you got,
To offer,
its awful.
I hate you,
it's bottled.
I've play the game
since I was 5,
I'd played with it.
I don't believe words
I need evidence
I think I'm cursed..
Due to my relationships.
They say having kids,
is a blessing,
To me its just a lesson
we keep forgetting
He showed us innocence
Yet we re-molded it
Into our own images,
This isn't what it's meant
When having kids.
You're supposed to show what the struggle is
let them know how you were suffering let them see life for what it really is,
after you show em all,
Tell em, don't be like me
cause you're unique
the way you are the way you speak
That innocence has long left me.
Teach them their heros...
Didn't get far,
living in the same homes
Wearing all the same clothes
Driving around,
with the same car.
Snorting stuff up their nose
Smoking blunts to feel good
Drinking drugs, changing moods,
**** it...
this world is hateful
I should've thought
twice before I had you.
Bringing life into a hell
That's filled with a plagued view..
If only I knew it wouldn't change you.
Maybe then I wouldn't feel the way I do..
I don't know what the future holds,
And that's all I know,
Or is it I don't.
114 · Apr 2022
Conflict
Anthony Collazo Apr 2022
Everything is always about conflict
If there isn't conflict,

then there is no profit
113 · Jun 2019
No title.
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
Her delicate skin
Her whimsical smile
The thought of her touch,
Well, it drives me wild.

Today is the day,
the day I open my heart
I'll scalpel away,
no care in part.
I'll make her see together it's art.
A hidden treasure
searched in the dark.
Making it so much harder to find,
now that I found it,
forever she's mine.
110 · Nov 2019
Don't share-Don't dare
Anthony Collazo Nov 2019
It's no ones business what you put in your system
if you wanna be an addict,
great be an addict in silence
don't hype it up making these young kids try it.
I hate what music's become
I hate what people have done
Trying all these things they hear in the songs
Telling me no it isn't that wrong
Everyone does it, come just give up.
Let go of your senses
let's try some non sense
Perks,
pink drinks,
Heated spoons
Acid, angel dust
All of it's,
straight garbage!

In melody /they say it's harmless
A remedy /that can fix all this
Secretly /it causes damage
Destroying all your organs
Seeping you of the youth
That God gives
Don't share don't dare
Don't share your business
Don't dare try drugs they'll change you forever
110 · Oct 2021
Battle in mind
Anthony Collazo Oct 2021
Fighting with demons
I'm swinging and hitting
I'm winning
I'll make it,
not kidding
They're screaming they're losing
Cause I've been abuse N defeated mistreated by people who needed
Some love and attention.
Well now they will get it
It's not the perspective they imaged.

But I ain't forgiving.
The sinners of sinning
I'm smoking and drinking
Cursing and hating
Lusting and judging
Like f--- it's nothing
I'll lie to my conscience say,
Like
trust me I got it
I got this, the problems I'm lying,
Been dying for change..

Now it's coming my way.

Trust me they'll hate
110 · Aug 2019
No title
Anthony Collazo Aug 2019
Be careful who you love
You don't know who they'll become
The person that they are
Can change without alarm.
109 · Jan 2021
The death of nature
Anthony Collazo Jan 2021
Pan is said to have died when people ceased to worship nature and the wild. People stopped worshiping the nature spirits, the Naiads, the nymphs etc.
In fact it is almost widely accepted that the death of Pan marked the advent of theology and Christianity. It is said that Christ was born as soon as Pan died ( It is not clear whether Christ was born after Pan died or Pan died after Christ was born ). People stopped worshiping the nature and started worshiping Christ. As a result nature went un-acknowledged and Pan “died”.
The other god is Asclepius; God of Medicine, Healing, and Rejuvenation.
His myth is very different. Asclepius is said to have been killed by Zeus as Asclepius had brought back Hippolytus back from the dead in exchange for gold. This angers Hades who asks Zeus to **** him. Zeus kills him with his thunderbolt.
It is said that later Zeus brings him back and orders him not to bring back anyone from the dead without his permission
Copied
108 · Jul 2019
Like
Anthony Collazo Jul 2019
Like a tub filled with warm water
A beach day during summer
Like hot food when it hits an empty tummy,

Like a razor blade pressed against the skin
A dying flower in need of watering
Like a race that always begins and never ends.

Like love could really last
Like love could really match.
Love has become nothing but lust
It doesn't ever last,
so we keep asking, what's love.
106 · Sep 2019
The past
Anthony Collazo Sep 2019
Never learn what I did.
Ten fingers can't every sin,
Can't count everything that I did as kid
Do you think to forgive that you need to re-live the experience again,
to go back to a place you don't wanna face
retrace every step of the hurt and the pain,
remind yourself why you went through the change.
Then ask yourself was it worth it..... Today.
105 · Dec 2019
Copy/Paste
Anthony Collazo Dec 2019
Where is the darkness we all sow?
Everyday I read a poem.

It's always the same thing,

I've loved.
I've lived.
I've longed for this.

Emotions they are sickening!

Repetitive,
With different words
A faker foe reflects and glows.
The sedative is to write a poem
To let sensitive emotions flow..

When we return in our real days
away from these heartfilled page
We do not show the form we take,
With pen
as sword,
We fight
We break,
Our eyes will tear
Our hearts will shake
Our minds they wonder far away...

But we never change..

Our form forever remains the same
Who's to say,
we're not tied by chains with hearts like Zart
Bach -N- Beethoven
swayed by a pendulum that's full of rage..
Underneath we take our stage
With a wreath that's wrapped in sage
Our only audience,
is a blank white page.

Before we click,
Copy/paste
And upload to a website
we think is safe..
105 · Jun 2019
Dark storys
Anthony Collazo Jun 2019
Part 2
Born out of darkness
Sworn to be heartless
Torn down to small bits
Horns on a savage
Thorns deep in my head.
Mourn for the undead,
Formed all *******
Arms around their neck
Charmed into breaking them.
Because,
killing for me is evident
Don't you see the evidence
Gun residue from the next door residence.

With ****** hands.
he's running, dam.
One last time to see his fam
tell his momma he's sorry,
Let her know his story,
media outlets turn everything ugly..
So he's running all these thoughts rushing
his hearts pumping
that's when he hears the sound of a gun cocking.
Bang!
Everything stops then...

The shooter missed, he hid real quick.
The shooter yells, I'll get you yet.
He hears the steps he starts to sweat
he killed a man was this revenge,
He's thinking fudge it, this it.
the steps get close, he sees the grip
he goes to tackle in self defense.
Both men down
struggling,
swinging fist,
wrestling.
Trying to live.
Human beings,
this is it.
Doesn't matter who you is,
When the guns at your feet
it's you or him,
Bang! bang!
Now he killed another man! Dam
the brother to the other man! Fam...

With ****** clothes a runny nose
He sees his home, he's getting close,
Two cop cars pull up real slow.
Blue, and red, start to glow,
They yell hands up, he refused
That's when the cops start to shoot,
Bullets flying, sizzling by.
he's just a kid he starts to cry
The mom clueless opens quick!
He jumps in front before it hits....

To be continued.
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