Rain is f a l l i n g on my window paine, darkness is taking away the light
I can't go to sleep I have to fight
These memories of you
From hiding under my bed any longer
Because I know if I keep you in my heart they will just grow stronger
What do I have to do to scare these monsters out from under my bed
These monsters are feasting on my soul and sooner or later I'll be dead
I can't hide under my covers and pretend they were never there
Because when it comes to these monsters, there is never ending memories of you to share.
I can't turn on my light
My nightmeres are taking flight
I can't stop them
My fate they'll condemn
I wish they would just go a w a y
These monsters will lead me a s t r a y
I am a b r o k e n body forever ment to d e c a y.

What do I even do now? I'm stuck here all alone and no one even notices me, it's a Thursday night; it's summer, nothing to do, no one to hang out with. All alone sad curled up in a ball just crying. I wish someone could help me. But no ones here to listen. I've been suicidal yet no one notices or seems to care. I try to find help but nothing. Nothing at all. What's the point of being alive if there is absolutly no one or nothing? I always try to tell myself there are reasons to live but I can't find that reason too, I swear those reasons run away from me whenever I get close to them.

Why don't you ever just say sorry and mean it? You know what you're doing wrong so change what you're doing. Like today when you were being a complete **** and an *** then right as you were leaving jack said dude give her a hug. How could you forget that? Or me? I thought you cared. I thought you loved to be with me. Was that all a lie?  How come you never stop what your doing and make me happy? All it takes is for you to care and keep a smile on my face. I never ask for anything from you, when I do it's small things. I'm always scared to tell you how I truly feel since I'm afraid you won't care. It's imposssible for me to know if you actually care if you don't show it, you only say it. Why don't you say goodnight to me anymore? You're scaring me by that, I don't want us to end. I love us. How come you don't talk to me after 9? Do you not wanna talk to me or something? If you need to tell me something just say it. It's better then leaving me here all alone wondering. There's so many things I would love to talk to you about but I just can't. My mind goes blank when I'm with you. I try so hard just to say something that i've been meaning to ask you about but my mind goes blank and nothing comes out. Why do you ignore me when you're with your friends? I'm still there you know. I'm not a ghost im a human that has feelings.

In the silence I still hear your voice,
calling my name so clear
I still feel your lips lingering on my skin.
I still know our breath fighting for its life,
I still live our lies day by day.

Why can't you stay?
I never said anything to hurt you
My heart lie open before you,
day in,
day out,
breathe in,
truth out.

I know I've done some stupid things,
I had some stupid problems,
I get stuck
stuck
stuck
in my own web of tangled feelings,
the  victim
of my own crime.

But in this silence I still know your voice,
calling my name so clear
I still feel your hands at my waist as you held me
so dear,
I still know my breath is fighting for its life,
I still live my lies day by day.

I struggle to answer,
when someone asks if I am okay.
The silence crushes down on me, the pressure building up,
a tornado in a blender.
I still listen for my phone,
and when it beeps I pretend it's you,
with another cheerful I love you to get me through the day.

I still sit alone at home,
waiting for your voice to make it through the airwaves.

How I need your voice,
so clear
so beautiful,
and it's golden timbre that leaves me shivering with joy.

How I need your voice,
In the silence, how I need your voice.

I'm tingling inside, as the rage raises up,
Cursing words through my clenched teeth,
Swearing that on day I'll hurt you like undid to me.

O the lies you must of told to get me here,
As my soul starts to melt.
How did you create this fake love? It's dragging me down to hell.

I'm burning here you see,
And I bet you can't help but laugh,
Throwing me your ***** looks picking at all my scabs.

But I'm looking for a path to get out,
After all I need too.
I can't bear to stay in this hell, I need to completely leave you.

I try and I try,
Only for my heart to deify,
Me from leaving.
So I stay there,
I lay there,
Already defeated.

Get me out of here,
Don't turn a deaf ear,
My skin is starting to sear,
There is fire in my ear,
Someone safe me from my fear.

Then. You. Came. Along.
Operation : Prolong,
The pain that I feel now.
Challenge accepted,
Let's get down.

You might not save me,
But you can try,
Give me some hope,
Wet the desert that has gone so dry.
Be my pope ,and preach me words of love.
Be my way out of hell, my sweet little Dove.

I miss the days when no one knew
When everyone asked me, what was wrong, and I  s m i l e d, and l i e d, and d i e d, and said nothing.
When It all was a secret
When I was strong.
When I could hide everything.
The pain, the blood, the cuts.
When I wore long sleeved shirts everyday to cover up the scars, that y o u caused.
I did it for
y o u
Even though you walked away, the scars you left were here to stay.
I'm sorry that you b   r  o  k  e my heart, and tore me apart.
If I could love someone else as much as I love you I would.
Because you don't deserve my love, or anyones, you don't deserve the tears, or the blood I've spilt
trying to get you to give two *****, about me, or about anyone else expect yourself.
You don't even deserve this, This morsel of respect, and love and tenderness, and forgiveness, I won't even try anymore, I've given up, you love someone else, and I have to face the facts, you can't love me, this mess of a girl, and I can't believe I'm saying this but I still *l o v e   y o u