This my declaration to you,
As the days drag on.
All the things that happen
From this point on--
This is hard for me,
I am paralyzed.
I’ll keep holding on to you,
For the rest of time.
I search to find a way to put it,
In your arms I am fine.
And you rock me well.
On your back, there rests
All the stacks you move.
On your back, there rests
All the tracks you drove.
On your back, they rest
And they weigh you down.
I will fix you in the morn.
I waited to replace the
Statue in the backyard--
It’s rusted now.
All my love was there.
See that flower blooming,
Under that tree?
With its vines weaving across
It holds the key to me.
Even though it’s small,
Whatever I can give,
It is all right here,
And it has brought me to this love.
On my back, there rests
The weight of your love.
On my back, there rests
All the ways you move.
This is not the only way to say,
Just how much you’ve meant.
It’s just a hazy realization.
There’s part of me you're rocking,
Lifting me away.
And the other part is sinking,
Deep into your back.

You send shivers down my spine when you walk in,
Cause the butterflies to flutter like mad.
When you look in my eyes,
You burn right through me.
You are the sunshine when my skies are clouded,
The light when I can't find the good in the world.
I could be all that you need,
You are all that I want.
My stomach knots when you are next to me,
You make me nervous and giddy.
I smile at the thought of you,
Quake in your presence.
You have all control over me,
And you don't even know it.

Pop
Push
Use
Snort
Smoke
Shoot up.
Pass out and repeat.

Cut
Burn
Bleed
Bruise
Scab
Scar.
Cover up and repeat.

Starve
Binge
Puke
Weigh
Work
Weigh
Don’t eat and repeat.

Lie
Scream
Cry
Plead
Hide
Run
Give up. No repeats.

Her eyes look greenest when they are
    looking down from above me
in a sultry, cow-girl style;
Yet her mind seems weakest
  during the night-time.

Her hair is longest when
   it is twined between my fingers,
her body against mine;
And her hands seems gentlest
  when they are tap-tap-tapping against
the window--
  waiting for the car that will never come.

Her body is the most graceful when
dancing
softly, as if afraid to be caught;
   all contour lines in a dress of cotton;
and her heart is most fragile
    while held in my hands
       my fingers, a loosely fitted cage.

I'm tongue-tied
I've lost my words
What's to say?
Nothing
ing
ing
is not enough of an emotion to wake me up.

I'm too used to falling into nothing
I'd like the impact
Pain is at least
Something.

I'm too familiar with too many questions and tangled excuses of why and how or what to do next or cause and effect and the point, I suppose, is that
here, now
is ALL there is,
is all there is,
is all there is,
and that thought could be all you ever become, your world could be a brain and nothing else, or this poem could be your moment, or you could read this poem and think of something else and be nowhere, you could see your reflection on this screen and be staring infinitely back and forth at yourself between you and your reflection and then what? Was there a purpose?

This isn't a poem, it doesn't take talent to ramble. This isn't a poem, three monkeys could sit with a computer and in an infinite universe this poem would one day be written without me. This isn't anything to remember or forget, it just is, and isn't that the point?

She watches a drama on the television
calendar pages flying
from time’s prying fingertips
showing her,
reality is
slower,
trudging ,
dragging in its pain;
she paces quietly,
wandering down
lonely stairwells of her memory,
her feet shuffling,
slipping
on loose tiles
of broken promises.
the floor is covered in his tracks,
decaying leaves of fickleness, letters of blotted ink, thick gray scratches; 
his unsaid goodbye, lingering
heavy and stale,
the air
filled with the smell of him,
scents of his self doubt and insecurity.

I, sometimes, think of,
All of the people,
Who could answer,
"Is there life after death?"

I get jealous, because,
There, once, were some,
Who - now -
Have such an answer.

But, then I remember those people are dead,
And, how that may actually ****.

You are all the good in me.
Perhaps this prompts my distance.
The Fear of falling in love,
Then falling apart,
Insures a comfortable indifference.
While hearts slip further into absistence.
You always kept me away,
While slowly drawing me in.
I've heard all you have to say,
Now I beg, "Please tell me once again."
Your voice,
Our touch,
Your joy,
Our lust.
If you must know,
Why it is I dance so much,
The future is in question and only few I still trust..