i positioned my hair so that it wouldn't part in the wind or when I kissed you.
it made sense at the time to be enamored of something imaginary, i caught fish between my teeth and used toothpaste to get it out, used your fingernail to spread the minty flavor.
I told you lies so that you wouldn't touch me, but it was sad and unnecessary in the end
cold, without skin, i am only something you remember
and I parted my hair so that you could touch it.

the feeling of having you back in my arms,
the feeling of having you back inside of me,
I touched your scent with kisses until you fell numb,
having a seizure of joy in your mind.
i couldn't taste any remorse, but you were always good at hiding those sorts of things, and socks.

you can't hide feelings between the sheets
so we slept in separate beds and had separate dreams.
I wasn't sure why you cried at night,
and you weren't sure why I slept with earplugs
touching, but never feeling
used books on repair
second-hand gifts
back up plans
love

We try to write
And dance and sing
And other silly
Creative things.
Getting nowhere
Slowly die
Erode our souls
Sell out and lie.
Magnum opus
Left half done
Can't afford to
Have much fun.
I'm over dramatic
But our lives are real
Working, *******.
To borrow or steal?
We wait for a chance
But in the meantime
We watch the rain
And drink wine.

cup the rouge loaded cheeks

           in perfect stillness
  and
marry her lips a soft pink lash

                    of

I love the way  Emily blows up her cheeks when we kiss her
Because Mom and Dad
miss her baby fat.

What is the point?
I am not a baby machine
or
a beautiful queen.

What is the point?
Rotting away
and
waiting for my hair to turn grey.

What is the point?
To not die today
or
tomorrow.

She sits on the bed as the world passes by
time flies on, but she sits still
alone on this bed

people float in and out
none seem to stay
numb isolation

blankly staring, people blurring
world still turning
no one's there
more than she can bear

same old story, bleak and boring
she can't hold them near.
for fear of what they will hear

pride and anger etch this picture
she keeps herself on the bed
nothing more to be said.

If you knew I wasn't over you
would you feel pity
or think I was weak?
You moved on before the seasons changed
and this new light is a harsh reality
casting shadows on this vacant pillow.
My eyes bleed tears with every sunrise
because I know your heart has left
and I can't bait it back to mine.