I am a person of survival
But last year, that was not really my title
A dead soul who was screaming for revival
A young girl who became suicidal

I felt the pain, because of the comments off society,
Probably the reason, why I've suffered from anxiety
I've never been close or the definition of perfection
But at the time all I needed was protecting  

They called me names from gap tooth, to fat ****,
To other **** I won't bring up, because to be honest it's that sad
They'd call me thick, they'd say I was fked up,
I wanted to fight back, but instead I kept my mouth shut

Getting told to die, getting called worthless
It's like people thought, there words would be hurt less
Every time the school mornings came I thought to my self here we go again,
Same **** different day, will I be crying by the time the clock hits ten

I felt so alone, The only place I felt safe was when I was home
But it wasn't always possible, I felt like I had no friends
I wanted to give up I wanted everything to come to an end
And it didn't, it never did, it was like something was holding me back, something was keeping me here

Every time I felt good, something would remind me and make me feel like nothing
Every time I was down, something would kick me even further,
It was horrible I felt like I was drowning, and there was no way up,
It tore me apart, took all the fight I had in me, everything was just getting to much

I had enough, I was so fking done,
I had suicide plans I was ready to run
I couldn't face anything anymore,
I never went out the house, I never opened the door

I ate to comfort myself, as I piled on the weight
I looked at my self and thought what's not to hate
I was self harming making a mess of my arm,
I knew I needed help, but I didn't no how to raise the alarm

I realised I couldn't hide forever, eventually I’d get tired,
But I stared at the bottle of pills while running the razor down my arm,
Trying to cry silently without being noticeable like an alarm
I thought **** it, I really am nothing

So I took the pills, one by one,
Whilst listening to the sound of a depressing song
I got scared, told my friend  what I had done,
She told me to call child line, to stay calm and to listen and not run

I hung up on child line, fell asleep thinking everything would be alright,
When my Mam burst in to my room, later that night,
She said wake  up darling what have you done she said I'm not gonna be mad at you
I said nothing, she said I'm on the phone to the police, I no you've overdosed and tried to forget it by going to sleep

Later that night I was lying in a hospital bed, throwing up my guts, while my body was fighting, trying not to shut.
watching the tears stream down my Mum's face whilst her heart was breaking like thunder and lightning

In my head thinking what have I done, to put my self in this place
How could I be so selfish, how could I think I was nothing,
If god kept me on this earth, he must of thought I was something

Now I pray, pray for the people who never saw the light,
Pray for the people, who are still suffering, and crying them selves to sleep at night
And those people will think of my word like protection
I hope they see the light, and learn smile again, I hope they find the strength to fight depression

Cos I know what it's like, I've been there before
But for every closed room, I'm here to open a door, I'm here to open a door.
Keep your chin held high don't give up, be proud of who you are and don't end up being one of those angels in the sky
Chin up, your perfect the way you are