Tomorrow,
Some day,
I will do everything,
I wanted to.

You are growing,
But you are not a novice anymore.

I do it often, because you are worth writing about.

It stopped hurting when I accepted that you are gone.

There are three things that matter,
You, me, and us.

I see you some times,
You go about your every day,
We're strangers, that's all there is,
Yet for my amusement, you could say,
I live in the illusion I understand people,
I try to read you, in your actions,
In your manners, in the way you dress,
Some where I am also being judgmental,
Which is wrong, but I won't tell you,
So with this bad habit I,
See you go about your every day,
Think of how you might be,
Who you might be,
Someone's daughter or son,
A sibling, a friend,
This whole life of yours I do not know of,
And I dream of what it might be,
You become a fantasy,
You, my stranger never really noticed me,
May be I am losing my sanity.

Are you ready?
Ready for an adventure,
The adventure you always wished,
We can go anywhere you want,
Lying right outside your door,
A decision away,
Past a slight fear of the unknown,
Give me your hand,
Hold on tight,
I am about to open the door

Sometimes I am right,
Sometimes I am wrong,
I may not admit to you,
But I am not blind
To my mistakes.
I live with them everyday.

By touch, discovering the surface,
Touch, I can tell this world is real,
Your touch, I melted like light,
Even if just for a moment, I was sure.

You grew on me like an addiction,
An addiction that quit me,
I drank your trust,
Just a drop, mind,
You always wanted me to stop.

I destroyed in your pursuit,
I assured you I could handle it,
I could bring you the world in exchange.
But no.

I'm left alone.

Chasing you up the hill,
Panting to a halt on our knees,
Soon lying on the grass
Even when we could see below
Our world, you lay and saw to the skies,
Like every time you lead me,
I'll follow you till I can't,
When I stop I'll remember you,
On a rainy day when I seek the sun,
I'll forget to worry over small things,
I'll remember you when I walk alone in cold nights,
I'll remember your smile that makes me warm,
I'll remember you so when you're lost I can remind you,
You are alright.

Push and pull they play,
Water crashing ashore
Bursting into foam,
A silent murmur calling,
Calling for embrace
We leave footsteps in the sand,
The waves wash the ties away,
Playing in water like we belong,
Embracing the sea, as it toys with us,
Pushing us out, pulling us in,
Swallowing the sun.

Its all a vivid blur,
You danced,
There was surely some cake,
And a lot to drink!
A drink became 4 and I lost count
(Not that I'd admit to the number)
By the end there was spirit and happiness,
We didn't care for tomorrow,
There was us and the night,
May be it was the liquor,
But I was smiling,
As I passed out on your bed,
Closed my eyes and breathed in.

Chasing the hands
While they run away,
Tireless
The musings of every day,
Their charm wears off of me,
I noticed those cracks really late,
The cracks in my house
Showing signs of weathering,
The cracks in my behaviour.

Pretending for so long,
I guess I forgot to live.
Can't say where it all failed,
When I got used to the despair,
Staying awake searching for myself in the dark,
Sleeping off the day light,
Am I broken?
Or just without direction?
Voices in my head tempting me,
To escape to fantasy,
Living wasn't supposed to hurt so much,
Be such a burden...
There is no reset button.
I stopped learning with this saturation.
Its time to wake up and take the blame.

You smile like always, as you greet me,
In our time apart you've grown I see,
The absence we shared is never questioned,
You helped me look ahead to today.
It has been hard for you, I can tell,
The things that made you who you are,
While I was petty in my little solar system of needs,
In simplicity you lived the moment.
You are the bravest person I know,
With all the things you wake up to see another day,
Never giving up, never complained,
Accepting what you got, while I stressed.
I will take away from you a new beginning,
Where I will strive to be a better person.

With pillows on our heart to save
From bruises and misfortune and that person we love,
Intoxicated to our toes in magic of our brains,
Holding hands to assure a future where you smile,
Waiting to make promises we will break,
But that didn't matter in the moment
Your eyes spoke to mine,
Afraid of what was coming,
Afraid that we were going to hurt later,
Yet, unafraid for it all didn't really matter,
The day stood still witnessing the sparks,
Flying from our lips as they collide.

If I could explain to someone,
They'd fall in love with you as I am,
I find you so irresistible I
Want to kiss you and say,
I don't tell the world about you,
For they'd fall in love with you as I am.

The warmth from the light kept his mind on track, he thought of one thing as the light grew brighter, the fire catching all the wood.
Light faded from his eyes, he slipped into the last ever memory he had of her. He wished he’d died, he wondered why it wasn't the last memory of his life.

She was sitting beside him on the couch, her feet in his lap. She looked so beautiful in the soft light, her eyes shone with a sparkle alive with the dancing flames.

He looked to her and said, “Always, I always am unable to tell you… You know?”

“What do you mean? What do you want to tell me?” She asked him playfully, almost teasing him.

“I mean, I like… No, I love you…” He shied away from her piercing gaze.

“Aww” Chuckling at him, she asked, “Why don’t you look at me, and tell me what you love about me?”

Like a different person, but not quite, he slowly caressed her feet, lightly kissing them, “I love your feet, yes I do. I love your legs,” He spoke in whispers between the kisses he planted on her. “I love your soft thighs, I could rest my head there all day, looking up at you laugh. I love your soft belly. I love these soft hands. I love every bit of you…” He whispered last as he began to kiss her softly. “You know how long I've wanted to tell you that I love you?”

“No. Tell me” Her voice slipped out as a caress to his ears, as from closed eyes her lips tried to find his, as he toyed with the space between them.

“I've loved for much of the little while I know you, since the day I realized you are the one I want by my side, when I look besides”
Kiss.
“You I miss when I see my empty hand. You who’s taste I’ll remember in my mouth”
Kiss.
“You I want in my hands here, forever.”
Kiss. She tried to get up, she saw her phone ring.
“Don’t go. Don’t leave please”
Kiss.
“I love you so much, you make me feel like the world belongs to us. Mine to win”
Kiss.
“Don’t go”
He looked into her eyes, that sparkled with the dancing flames from the fireplace.
He looked at her one last time.

Staring at a hushed band of black, he was startled to realize he had been blindfolded. As he brought his hands to eyes to confirm, a soft voice said “Don’t”. He felt as if he could hear her smile. She took his hand and guided it to her face, to tell him even she had blind folded herself. She let out a playful yet nervous laugh, as urged him out of bed and onto the floor. And it began. In silence of their breathing, their hands searched each other, finger meeting finger, palm meeting palm… They began to discover each other, to feel the presence of the other, while the other obliged to play the muse. It all felt like the pause before a perfect kiss, like lips trying to find each other, their hands felt the existence of the other person, appreciating everything about them. As his hands found her face, felt what he knew knew to be the face he loved, he felt her lips, and traced her body to the curve of her neck. Swiftly he pulled her closer, hands caught in her hair, he kissed her once before they undressed.

Here i dropped through that crack in the floor, something had happened, what I didn't know. I see a world of miracles around me, a beauty of no match. There I saw a child’s first toy, like the most precious in the world to him, there I saw another held so closely, safe in her mother’s arms. I walked about in what seemed the world of fantasy, and I couldn't help but smile at all these things around me, everyone seemed to be happy, seemed to have that very thing they’d wanted all their lives… It was a very sunny place, with all the positivity.

Spending some time there started to build in me an uncertainty, as everyone seemed to be stuck in their moment of glory, I saw events happen over again, someone running into the arms of their beloved in a wild moment, and there seemed to creep an unspoken desperation in my conscience….

Travelling this somewhat twisted wonderland, I came across something that told me what I was doing here… There I saw myself with a woman without a face, with many faces, the woman I love… The pain was numbing. This was the wasteland of lost hopes and dreams, and maybe I am here because someone lost hope on me.

I tried to show you how much I care, if I could only make you understand that you’re perfect the way you are, nothing else of you I would ever ask, except that be by my side, a presence that makes it easier when life gets hard. You see what I mean, you know what I intend, behind my every action, and you say you want to love me back, but there’s someone who took your heart and forgot to give it back… I’m ready to do that for you too, to console you and be there when you need me, but you don’t let me be there, and I’m left with this affection going to waste and longing for a hand to come console me. Love like a video game in the console of my heart, I loose every time it seems, and every time it tells me “TO CONTINUE PRESS START”

This door between us,
I can feel you on the other side.
It pains to know this only hurdle between us,
Deadbolt, I’m locked outside.
I hate to hear your cries there,
I smile when I hear you laugh,
The times I wished I could break it down,
But this lifeless bolt to me won’t answer.
One fear I have, that you hold the key,
And you left me out.
Worst, you lost the key.

I can't feel the world outside,
It’s heat trying to reach me.
I’m trapped in this Styrofoam house,
Where my identity bathes in itself,
Out of touch from the world is a bad place to be!
I’m not necessarily alone,
But sometimes in this Styrofoam box I’m lonely.
Not too bad, just a little irritating to the skin.

My best friend,
She’s flying to a foreign country,
I’m happy that she’s going to see a place
A place I've always wanted to be.
The day of goodbye went by well,  
The moment I got a chance to sit back I realized,
How alone I already feel.
I had told her before she left I’d fallen for her,
I knew that is not how she wanted it to be.
My love’s flying to a foreign country,
I don’t know when her I will see,
In a moment of despair I told her I’ll miss her a lot,
That I love her, I wish I hadn't,
For her lack reaction to that was foreign to me.

I didn't realize it’s raining,
How long has it been?
Seems like the days ending…
Look, the city seems to be still,
I think I can hear its heart beat,
Or is it mine?
The murmur of the rain swallows and washes away all we say,
Let’s sit and talk, you know how I like to hear you say,  
Sitting at the window,
Hearing the rain talk its soft pain,
As it beats against the walls,
We wish our time away,
Chasing the droplets racing down the glass.

It’s hard here where people have their own little solar systems of needs. I need a glass of whiskey with some dilution, so I can explain myself better to them. May I come visit you after? I swear I won’t be a bother. I understand if you don’t want me there. It’s the whiskey, isn’t it? You needn’t do me a favor, only if you really want me to. (and I say to myself, there our solar systems collided)

I went a million miles, had a thousand things to do, yet nothing seemed to matter to me, without having you. I asked myself why it was so, I found I had to reason to do, no fulfillment to attain, like an existence without purpose, my reasons ending on you

The crescendo rose, the final act upon them. The fluid motions of dance, poetry in motion, just stole the viewers away from their seats. As she rose to the finale, about to make the final jump, like all the other times she knew not what was going to happen, if he’d catch her. She jumped anyways, not because the show had to go on, because she saw in his eyes the assurance that he’ll not fail her. So she jumped from above, to fall into the arms she trusted.

We all look for an audience to our life,
Some form of record in memory,
To be remembered after we are gone.

Open my eyes to the sound of my favourite song, the soft sunlight through the curtains playing with my consciousness, I smile lightly as I’m greeted awake. I walk without a shower to the balcony, light myself a cigarette, with a coffee in the other hand. As the cold wind blows on my face, I read the word on the cigarette: Classic

"Lets make a deal",
I said to you,

"That I'll miss you,
When you're not around",
I hoped you'll miss me too,

"It would be nice
To have you around,
Time and again",
Truthfully I wished forever,

"Everyday, even if
It is right at the end,
I want to hear all about yours,
So I don't miss a thing",
And may be you'll want to hear about mine,

"I know I can't protect you,
The world is too big,
But I can be there
To unburden your thoughts,
To ease the pain",
When you smile everything is right,

"You don't want the world
At your feet, I can live
With giving you my best,
In this incompleteness
You are my missing truth,
There, I said the obvious",
Does it scare you?

"In return of your side
Of the deal, I promise
For as long as I live,
I will love you,
All things in the world,
Cannot compare to when I can say,
I'm yours",
Yours to keep

Building a future,
One where I fit,
Not that things were bad,
I guess I slipped.
Gave in to the un-doer,
With a vision of freedom,
With an open sky to fly,
Bound to the ground without wings,
I never quite forget you amidst the chaos.
Those memories are ours,
Not just yours or mine,  
I still look up hoping to find you,
Someday you’ll take me away.

We've lived through our mistakes,
Often saturated of situations,
Willing to give up
At the darkest hour,
Breaking ourselves,
Letting them throw stones,
Inflicting some ourselves,
I've had my bad days,
You've had yours,
Don't be so ashamed,

Amidst the dense,
Mouthing names,
When you grieve,
When you celebrate,
Names whispered to oneself,
You miss them,
Everyone does.
Immortal within.
Unspoken.

One day you're the birthday child,  
You just wait,
Wait for a while,
While I'm dying.
Growing old is okay,
But I can't live this way,
I fear losing you along the way,
It is imminent, this parting,
So won't you smile,
For today we're alive,
When I go, I will miss you,
Will it count, When I'm not around?
Will you ask me to stay,
Or take me with you,
To the other side?
I seek no eternal judge,
I just seek some nice tea,
Thinking about how you like your coffee,
Laying together and staring at the night sky,
I will wonder how we found eachother,
Right there I could live forever,
Always hoping for immortality with you,
While I'm dying.

Always seeking for the right love,
Pursuing the right life,
Wishing for stars and things higher above,
Guess I was never meant for that kind of story,
Too stubborn to give up what I saw as perfect for me,
I know I was right, may be they were wrong,
Or just misplaced at that moment,
Chasing dreams and desires of being something more,
Who knew it was so simple as getting a heart for what I got,
A heart that can beat through anything.

There I stood looking into your eyes,
I saw a world in them
Where I want to reside,
All this while the sun came and went,
Countless times our wishes with stars,
Went into the black night,
Was it you that caught mine?
i wait for a memory of you
All the times I imagined of how it would be,
I never thought it would be so right,
The moment comes,
Into the night you look for a star to safely send my wish ahead,
Send me back my wish with a kiss,
So I never forget,
For I may never know how it feels,
The truth of what others say,
There's nothing better when it fit so perfectly,
Your hand in mine.

It is hard to describe how beautiful you look,
Harder still to capture it by my hands.
Yet, here I am closely following each line of your face,
Like taking it in for the first time,
Almost like falling for you all over again.

In my happiest moments I think of you,
To share my world with you,
On my sad days I want to protect you from the world,
On your victories I want to make you feel how special you are,
Every day when I wake up I want to tell you how much I love you,
Cherish how I am yours,
Even when you are never mine.

Under bulletproof glass
I'll keep our dreams,
When the night is right
They will find our eyes,
In them I'll see you,
I'll see you soon.

In a land of no land,
Where the word land has no meaning,
The Horizon is the only destination.

When you grow, when you learn to walk, you will stumble, you will fall. The sun, while it may get harsh sometimes, on the brightest day it will bring you a smile. The moon, the ocean and the tides, they dance their dance, and as it rains you will wonder, of how glad you are of your home. You may wake up to look at the empty side of the bed, at your empty hand, you will want some one to fill that space. You won't know why you want them so much, you will want to give them your everything. You will take comfort in knowing some one else is glad of your existence, a glint in their eyes when they see you, you want to hold that light forever. Some may break your heart, but that is okay, you will have your hands to build yourself a safe place. The troubles, they may seem to never go away, but you will sleep, and you will wake up to another day, another beginning. It is not a fight, don't waste your time struggling, just keep moving ahead and you will find you survived the storm and you find your own island, where you are king.

When you grow, when you learn to walk, you will stumble, you will fall, but through these paths you will begin to run, one day, you will fly.

My half of the world was in darkness when your’s was in light,
A straight mass of land separated us,
The Earth understood and bent under me to where you reside.
So many people here, only one I needed,
Only you I wanted, your memory I got,
And the knowledge of half a planet’s distance,
Because that’s how far you are.

Like paper in wind my thoughts float around,
So easily I get lost in my head,
Yet you come bring me back to the ground,
Within your arms I shall always be found.

That you believe too, I see that world beginning to take shape.

We talked in silence,
We talked of memories,
Of how it felt when yours touched my skin,
We promised we would never fall apart,
Yet somehow,
The distances and spaces between grew to a whole life.

Today I looked up at the sun,
I smiled as if watching it for the first time,
I pointed at a crow and abused it.

I wanted to write about my bed,
Of how I wanted to sleep in it always,
All inspired I fell asleep instead.

Staring at the halo of passing lights,
Painting the walls I stare as I lay in bed,
It is not sleeplessness that keeps me awake,
It is the lack of your presence,
Like a child carefree in a mother's embrace,
Like a lover's comforting arms after a tiring day,
I thought tonight may be it would be nice,
To fall asleep with your arms around me,
So if I ever woke up in the middle of the night,
I could look up to find you beside me,
Lean in a little closer so you won't go,
Drift in to sleep without a thought for tomorrow.

Lacking intent like a rock lying,
On a beach getting weathered to sand,
Slowly witnessing my own demise.