right now there are eleven empty containers of alcohol in my bedroom,
but it's fine, i'm fine.
i've been telling myself for more than a year
that i wasn't going to write anymore sad ****** poems about you,
but here we are.
most days i'm sure i don't miss you,
but then i listen to the wrong song,
and before i know it -
i'm screaming along to band of horses in the dark,
stalking your twitter favorites,
and somehow,
i've managed to get snot on my forehead.
yeah, nostalgia is an *******
but not all the memories sting.
there was that one time we went to the movies
and i slipped on some ice and fell flat on my ***.
i just sat there while you took a picture.
but i'm glad we could laugh about it.
i'm glad we were comfortable.
in my head, we still are.
in my head, we're oversized-goodwill-sweater comfortable.
we aren't as comfortable in real life
but i'm glad we still laugh.
this is the part where i don't bring up the time you told me
my laughter could cure your sadness,
because i'm pretty sure i already put that in another poem,
and it makes me really ******* sad.
did i ever tell you i used to play guitar and piano?
i loved them, but i never tried very hard.
i wanted to be good without having to practice.
i wanted to be good without having to practice.
i wanna meet the girl you write about
so i can ask her how she manages not to love you back.
because i've tried everything & i am so tired.
i forgot this wasn't supposed to be a sad poem.
i'm not good at happy anyway,
i never have been.
but in your absence i've learned a lot about softness.
so if i ever find myself back in your passenger seat,
i won't correct you when you sing the wrong lyrics,
i won't ask why when you take the long way home.
i won't ask you why you don't have your seatbelt on,
i'll just say a silent prayer
and watch for signs that you might be about to swerve.
right now there are eleven empty containers of alcohol in my bedroom,
and i didn't find you at the bottom of a single one.

- m.f.

If I woke up one day to not remember you

The cloud that is my love for you,
Burst for I could contain it no more,
A lightness creeps into my gloom,
As your season comes to pass from my heart,
I look back at the times I thundered and roared,
You faced me like sea of calm,
Accepting all my anger and distress,
Making them into paper boats to float away,
The rainbows that shine are testament,
Of the magnificence that spawned this undying love.

I wanna lie in with you,
Caress you cheeks like its the best thing,
As I run my fingers through your hair,
Drawing you in for a kiss,
My hands run down your spine
I feel you like the work of art you are,
Tangled in your embrace like a blanket

Because when you're here, I have got nothing to fear

Spending sleepless nights,
Listening to b-sides,
Thinking of you as I play that song,
Hoping you'd see with you is where I belong,
You that I never had except in my head,
Seeing me my friends say,
"He's at a party he never went to,
He never knew what her love is like,
He makes it all up in dreams,
He doesn't have to leave there",
I tell them I know what I'm doing,
That some day you will come to me.
Or some day I will get over you.
Some day, all of this will happen again,
And I will always stay by your side.

One day will come again,
When we will waste the night,
Talking about distant things,
Watching the stars cross the night sky,
Away from the world we'll watch the sun rise.