We walked along
A city street
The night was cold
The sky was sweet.

My heart beat strong
My breath was fast
How could I be wrong?
The past is the past

I told her I loved her
I felt so brave
She said she was sorry
I'll take sorry to my grave.

She's safe at home now
But I'm still here
I'll make it home somehow
But now I know fear.

chaos
wash
her hands of
war

I hang onto the edge of your tongue
like a cliff that holds my obituary
written in it's stone structure-
as if every word you speak could change me
or send me flying over the edge-
forever falling, with no sense of security.
I have been bent and broken
and twisted and misconstrued  
into a shape I am no longer familiar with-
I am a mere figment of what once was
a shadow hidden in the dark alleys
and bed sheets of my subconscious.
Who I was is now just a ghost
and when resurrection is a rarity
I'm not sure there's anyway to make it back.
It seems the only time I am enough
is when I am putting on a smile
or kissing the traces of your neck
I left the dark side of myself behind when we first meet.
Seems I am the girl you hide away
inside your bedroom and your sheets.
The girl you sleep with, and sleep next to
but one you never seem to exit your comfort zone for.
I am more than just an everyday routine.
Please, just try for me. That's all I need.
Who I once was isn't who I am now..
So please give me back a fraction
of what I have left behind for you.

(A)                  
(M)indlessly
(E)ntropic
(R)etention of
(I)diosyncratic
(C)apitalist
(A)gendas

you wore ugly pants today.
they didn't flatter your ***.
darius and i told you we loved them, and silently laughed when you turned around.

you took my phone later that period, something you never do.
you gave me a ******* detention.
but for some reason i'm not that ****** at you.

Early good mornings
and late goodnights
roll off our tongues.
The words pass through the smile on my lips,
and when I lay my head down
Or wake at the sun's rise,
My last and first thought
is of you.